Parenting Gone Awry

Tankini Moms and Towel Moms

Swimming is a very important skill for kids to learn. I feel so strongly that my son should learn to swim that I started him in a Water Babies class at the local swimming school when he was 14 months old, which was in January. That’s how much I love my son. So much so that I would actually put on a swimming suit and wear it to a public swimming pool. In January. But then there is no limit to my love for this boy.

As with any baby activity, expensive special gear was required. We both had to have special swimming suits. He had to have one that met health codes. I had to have one that camouflaged my 45-year-0ld thighs that had not seen the sun or a treadmill in about two years. I purchased Sean’s itty bitty suit from the swimming school for (cough cough) $17, but he did look adorable in it. And for me, I found a very nice, large towel to accessorize a suit from several years ago, and while I did not look adorable, I did look like a 45-year-old woman with a nice, large towel worn where her waist used to be.

The first day of lessons was memorable in that my son did not actually drown me in 4-feet of water. It was a lot like bathing a cat. I spent the entire first lesson prying his sharp little finger nails out of the back of my neck and by the end of the day, I had fully regained my hearing and blood loss was minimal. All in all a success.

The next week, I was dreading going back to the pool. But I was not raised to be a quitter. You might think that seeing my son come to terms with his fear of the water was traumatizing for me. No. What was traumatizing for me was having to get in the pool with 20-somethings wearing tankini’s. But being the not-quitter that I am, I donned my stylish towel and vintage suit and headed back to the pool.

The second lesson was a little less stressful for both of us. This time, we were both able to relax a bit and take in our surroundings, so I began to observe the other mothers. From what I could see we were all pretty much the same, except for one thing — tattoos. Tankini moms had tattoos. Towel moms did not. I wondered if some day that might be an embarrasssment to my son. Will he come home from school one day and ask, “So, Mommy, where’s your tattoo? Chase’s mom has one and so does Caden’s mom. All the other mom’s have tattoos.”

And that is when we will have “the talk”. I’ll just sit him down and explain that in this world, God made tankini moms and God also made towel moms….

4 thoughts on “Tankini Moms and Towel Moms

  1. This is too funny! You hit the nail on the head. I also read “How Did This Happen.” What an emotional rollercoaster you have been on. Absolutely amazing. What a huge blessing your little son is!

  2. Ok, but how about sweatpants and t-shirt on the beach moms? Pretty sure I may be one of those-thats ok, right??

    Was introduced to your blog through my mom-what a joy it is to read it! No matter the age: 25, 45, or 105, Parenting is TOUGH STUFF! So glad to be joining your journey!

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