Mildly Amusing, Travel Tales

Toddler Travel Tales, Part II

In part two, of Toddler Travel Tales, it turns out the actual traveling part of our recent trip was the easy part — especially in comparison with the staying in a hotel part. To say that we “slept” in a hotel room with our son would be a gross overstatement since in the four nights we were there, no actual sleeping occurred.

Here are some fun hotel facts that you may not know:

  • The curtains at the Marriott can hold up to 25 lbs.
  • Cell phones do not flush, but they do float – for a few seconds.
  • The contents of a mini-bar cost around $300.
  • The receiver of the wall phone in the hotel bathroom can reach the toilet bowl.
  • The bottle opener on the sink can be used for many things including opening a remote control.
  • Hotel table lamps do not make good kites.
  • Hotel dresser drawers eventually leak when filled with shampoo.
  • Every breakable item in a hotel room will fit on top of the armoire if stacked properly.
  • A toddler standing on the desk can reach the top of the armoire.

Being the modern mother that I am, the safety of my child is my first concern. Anticipating that the hotel room would not be child proofed, I packed plastic outlet covers and immediately covered all the electrical outlets as soon as I got in the room. Then I immediately picked them out of the waste can, toilet, suitcases, mini-bar, dresser drawers and window ledge where Sean put them after he picked them out of the outlets.

I really didn’t anticipate that staying in a hotel room with our little boy would be so exhausting. I thought that most of the time we were in the room that we would be sleeping. Isn’t that funny?! I thought we would be sleeping! In a hotel room! Bwaaah! We even ordered a crib to our room so Sean would have a little bed just like at home. We placed it right next to our bed so that he would feel secure. We put him in it with Mr. Monkey and his special blanket. We sang to him and tucked him in, just like at home. Then he stood up and shook the bed like an agitated ape and screamed until our ears bled and the neighbor’s ears bled and they had no other choice but to bang on the wall and beg for mercy, crying, “Please, for the love all that is good and holy, LET HIM OUT!” So we did. We put him in between the two us where he spent the remainder of the night practicing pro-wrestling moves including an impromptu body-slam at 2am.

Another fun hotel fact: This is why hotel windows don’t open.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *