Makes Me Sigh, Parenting Gone Awry

Lessons in Parenting from the Zoo

Photos Temporarily Unavailable There’s one in every family. And apparently this is no less true for the animal kingdom. Earlier in the week, we took Sean to the zoo. Sean has been able to identify obscure zoo animals, like the “dik dik” since he was a year old — an obvious display of brilliance. He loves the zoo, so we bought memberships and go there often. And most of the time, the people gawking at the bored or sleeping animals are as interesting to watch as the bored or sleeping animals. But on this particular day,…

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Always Real, Sometimes Tart

Lint as a metaphor for my life…

There is a piece of lint on the rug by the front door. It is taunting me. It has been there for, well, let’s just say several days. I pass by this piece of lint, oh, about 20 times a day. And every time I pass, I look down and see it, just sitting there. But not just sitting there quietly and unobtrusively like all the other unexplained bits of life on the floor. This piece of lint is white and screams “Look! At! Me! Pick me up! I won’t be ignored!” You would think that…

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Mildly Amusing, Sometimes Tart

Boxing Day – An Underappreciated Holiday

Today, December 26th is Boxing Day. It is not a holiday that we celebrate here in the US, but one that I think we should, because after Christmas we need to squeeze in another Hallmark holiday before Valentine’s Day, don’t you think? For those of you who are unfamiliar with Boxing Day, it is a holiday that originated in the Middle Ages in England. The very day after Christmas, the uppercrusties would box up all the things they got for Christmas that they didn’t want and offload it to unsuspecting people they didn’t like very much,…

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Mildly Amusing, Thank You Notes

Hot Dog!

Photo Temporarily Unavailable  “Hot Dog!” — The most honest expression of Christmas joy heard all season exclaimed by Sean upon opening a box containing Crayola Color Wonder markers, paints, paper and coloring book from Aunt Jane, Uncle Jim and Cousins Scott and Cody (or Cot and Sody as Sean says). “Way cool!” — The second most honest expression of Christmas joy heard all season exclaimed by me when I read the words “Mess Free” on the packaging. Thanks Jane! Photo: Sean is hoping that Mommy got some Crayola Color Wonder stuff too!

Memaw

Happy Birthday Memaw!

Dear Cleo – Today we celebrate not only Christmas Eve, but the 79th birthday of you and your handsome twin brother Leo! The miracle of every life is worth celebrating whether it be a life of two years or 79 years. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday and thank you. Like a lost puppy, you and George took me into your family the instant your son brought me home nine years ago. Never have I felt more welcomed and wanted anywhere. I realize now the reason you were so happy to see me…

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GiGi and Poopah, Outsmarted, Parenting Gone Awry

Santa – What Not To Wear

Photo Temporarily Unavailable This past week, we took Sean to North Park Mall to have his picture taken with the North Park Santa, who is known far and wide in these parts as the best Santa around. And of course nothing but the best for my kid will do, so I took him to be traumatized by the best Santa in town. From what I could observe in the 30 hours I was in line — and I’m a quick study — is that tiny children do not want to sit in the lap of a…

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Antique Childhood, Memaw, Use Your Words

Will the real Mom please stand up?

Way back in the last century, when TV only came in black and white, there was a game show called To Tell The Truth. This show featured a panel of obscure celebrities trying to guess the identity of an even more obscure celebrity from amongst two others claiming also to be said obscure celebrity — in a friendly identity theft sort of way. At the end of each episode, the announcer would say, “Would the real [obscure celebrity name here] please stand up?” The suspense was palpable to see who would stand as all three contestants…

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Parenting Gone Awry

Have a Kleenex June

Some reasons I make June Cleaver cry: – Sean and I eat banana popsicles for dessert. After breakfast. – Sometimes we leave Sunday school early to go to the playground. – We wear socks outside. In December. – I consider ice cream a calcium supplement. – Bribery is central to my parenting philosophy. – Eating vegetables is a lifestyle choice. – My floor is not clean enough to eat off of. – I sometimes end a sentence with a preposition. – Instead of the 5-second rule, we have the 5-minute rule. – I told Sean that…

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Snips And Snails

Our Best Hope for Survivor

I’ve been a fan of the show Survivor since the beginning. Every season Antique Daddy and I watch each episode and play armchair quarterback criticizing the players strategies citing everything we would do differently and how we would win the million dollars. The truth be told, we would be the first two voted off. He would be voted off the first week after creating ingenious systems and schedules and insisting that everyone adhere to them. Some people, and I won’t say who exactly, find this annoying. They don’t like to be told what to do even…

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Parenting Gone Awry

Antique Scrooge

I have bought two books for my son for Christmas and that may be all he gets. I know what you’re thinking: First she leaves his monkey in Florida and now she’s going to Scrooge him on Christmas?! Yes I did and yes I am. I am officially opting out of the rampant materialism that is our zip code. It already looks like the Fisher Price factory exploded in our den and ten more large plastic things will not a merry Christmas make. After you factor in the grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends, the fact that…

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