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  • Green Bean Algebra

    February 3, 2006

    Dear Internet:

    I have a question. How is it that men can be so spatially perceptive that that they can detect from the distance of 100 yards a picture that is off level by less than a faction of a centimeter – YET! – they cannot accurately assess and choose the correct Tupperware container for two tablespoons of leftover cobbler? Why? Why would one choose a gallon container for two tablespoons of cobbler? I. Do. Not. Know.

    Likewise, you would think that since one could determine in a showroom, without even the aid of a tape measure, that a rug will not fit in a particular room, that one would be able to determine – by sight and at close range – that one cup of left over green beans will not fit into a ¾ cup container. And further that by putting the remaining ¼ cup of leftover green beans into yet another gallon container will make for a math problem when the two containers of green beans and the two tablespoons of cobbler living it up in a luxury one-gallon Tupperware Townhome all have to somehow be wedged into the refrigerator.

    A woman would tell you that the obvious solution to this math problem is to eat the two tablespoons of cobbler and throw out the remaining ¼ cup of green beans. Done. Except for the dishes.

    Never mind. I guess I don’t really have a question after all.

    Antique Mommy

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