Everyone thinks Isaac Newton was so great and so smart and that he came up with the three laws of motion on his own. Not so. What all the scientists don’t want you to know is that Newton stole the ideas from his own wife. It was Mrs. Newton who first penned the laws of toddler motion after a long hot summer with a two-year-old and Newton later adapted them for his little science project.
Isaac Newton’s First Law of Motion
Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, and objects at rest tend to stay at rest unless an outside force acts upon them.
Isaac Newton’s Second Law of Motion
The rate of change of the momentum of a body is directly proportional to the net force acting on it, and the direction of the change in momentum takes place in the direction of the net force.
Mrs. Newton’s Second Law of Toddler Motion
The rate of change to the momentum of a todder is directly proportional the force of his mother’s hand acting upon his behind. That is if she is fast enough to catch him. The direction of a toddler in motion will change opposite to the location of the mother.
Isaac Newton’s Third Law of Motion
To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Mrs. Newton’s Third Law of Toddler Motion
To every action a mother proposes, a toddler will respond with an equal and opposite reaction until the mother has pulled out every last tuft of her own gray hair and collapsed in a sobbing heap upon the floor cradling a bottle of tequila.
Source: Little Known Scientific Facts about Cheetos, Tequila and Toddlers, Vol II, August 2006 Edition