Makes Me Sigh, Outsmarted

The Negotiator

This morning, as I’m standing at the kitchen sink washing up breakfast dishes, there was this exchange:

Sean: Mom, can I have a popsicle?

AM: No Sean, you just had breakfast.

Sean: Well, then how about an ice cream bar?

AM: No. You can have an ice cream bar after dinner.

Sean: Mom, can I have dinner?

* * *

I could have said “Go play!” or “I said no!” or any number of other mom-isms.

But instead, I dried my hands, went to the freezer, got out an ice cream bar and sat down on the kitchen floor and shared it with him. Just because. Just because he looked so cute in those dinosaur pajamas with his hair all askew, just because he opted for negotation over whining, just because I sometimes over-compensate for having to be the parent who metes out most of the discipline, just because as I looked at him looking up at me I wanted to gather him up in my arms and cover him in kisses, just because life is too darn short. Just because.

39 thoughts on “The Negotiator

  1. I agree – “just because” is a GREAT reason!

    I have an 8yr old who is sure to be THE most successful telemarketer on the planet – always eager to go for the 2nd and 3rd and 4th ….and 5th ask and always with an approach that almost sounds as if she’d never asked the first time….

  2. This is tender. And a good reminder. I used to be able to do this, or at least had the ability to, and I think I’ve lost sight of it recently. I love that you recognized he was negotiating. Thanks for the reminder. I think I’m going to print this and post it up to remind me.

  3. If I could have my kids come home one more time and slam the door. Or leave their clothes all over their rooms. Or blare their stereos. Or whine that there is never anything to eat in this house. If…..I’d be one happy mom. I miss my full nest……I miss the action and all that went with it. I was blessed and didn’t even know it. So, enjoy your ice cream for breakfast. Nobody said you had to have eggs first. Because life is too darn short.

  4. Yep. Sometimes you just got stop and eat the ice cream. Good for you. I don’t do “just because” enough. Thanks for the reminder.

    My youngest is already a pro at arguing a point. I’m saving for law school. :?)

  5. One afternoon, in ordinary conversation, my two teenagers made the comment that they had never had banana splits. I said,”Let’s have them for supper!” I went to the neighborhood store and quickly bought what I needed and we had banana splits for supper. That has been many years ago and they still talk about their mom fixing banana splits for supper! That was one of my better moments, I think.

  6. Girl, you don’t have to explain yourself to us. Rules are only good if they’re questioned. Sometimes, you realize there is no good reason not to have ice cream after breakfast or sometimes as breakfast.

  7. YOU WIN! Mom-of-the-Year! You get MY vote AND Sean’s!! And, I think with the “dairy” of the ice cream, that’s healthier than donuts or pop-tarts, anyway!

  8. Good call – I’ve been there myself & must remember your alternative to hollering “Get. Out. No. Ice creeeeam!” next time around!

  9. Man, I had the morning from … well, you know where. Reading this made me sad that my oldest son left for school angry at me, but I’m glad this was the first place I read this morning because it’s going to change our day. I’m going to pick the boys up from school a few minutes early today (to not ride the bus will be a treat in and of itself) and we’re going to stop by McDonalds, go INSIDE and get a shake! Why? Just Because! I’m also posting a pretty sign on my fridge, right after hitting the “post” button on this comment, that reads JUST BECAUSE … that will remind me of what’s important and bring me back to reality when things get a little intense around here. THANKS Antique Mommy … I needed this post today! πŸ™‚

  10. Just because you wanted to see the smile of pure surprise and delight on your sweet boy’s face.

    What a great way to say “I love you and let’s have some fun.” I agree. You are a great mom.

    Oh, and can we have those for breakfast in October? It’s a daily dose of dairy, you know.

  11. Thanks for that tender reminder. It makes me want to go get mine out of school and play hookey. Or at least go hug them. I miss those little boy days sometimes.

  12. Your post brought tears to my eyes… just because I can relate.

    Sometimes it feels even better to say “Sure, why not?” rather than doing what we perceive as being “right.”

  13. Oh, your son must have been so surprised and excited! What an awesome thing to do!

    And, I respectfully disagree with Shalee — you should NOT have them for breakfast in October, but rather for DESSERT after a good old-fashioned taco bar… but, that’s just me!

  14. Just because you are his mama and you dearly love him is enough. And you are right life is too short and he will be grown before you know it. Have you ever read the book I’LL Love you forever! to Sean? I read and sang my children that book forever to them growing up. This book reminds me of you both. Please if you havent get this book and share it with Sean.

  15. Bravo! It’s so easy to get caught up in the, “you let them eat WHAT at WHAT time?” that you miss a chance to surprise your kid.

    It’s just so darn fun to see Munchkin’s face when I tell her that, yes, she can eat the peanut butter straight out of the jar. I get a, “mom, you are the BEST!” look. Totally makes my day. Thanks for such a heartwarming post.

    *looks at watch* Is it time to get off work and pick up Doodlebug, yet?

  16. My mother called one day. She talked to my then four year old daughter who excitedly told her we were eating dessert!!! It was 8:00 a.m. We had dessert after breakfast. My mom said she would have given me dessert FOR breakfast–and I can attest to that.

    Life is too short, indeed. Your story is glorious.

  17. I’m not sure whom I love the most, you or Sean. You both are outstanding—-him for his logic and you for your compassion and fun.

  18. Ice cream for breakfast is ALWAYS a good idea πŸ™‚

    Which is why we used it on waffles instead of syrup, just a few days ago.

    You made a memory to hold in your heart. Hugs, Chrissy

  19. Amen Sister! Just because is right on!
    I love it! Mine is 3 1/2 and I’m watching him grow into a young man before I know it he’ll be out the door…and trying to enjoy those just because moments!

  20. What a lovely story, and a lifetime memory for you both!

    Loved the argument from Sean btw….I think you have a future lawyer on your hands!

  21. Thanks for the reminder that it’s ok to bend the rules every once in a while, & if you do, your child will not grow up to be a drug dealer or serial killer…

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