Reruns and Leftovers

Still Vacationing

Back on Thursday. Here’s another from the vault.

Toddler Travel Tales, Part II

In part two, of Toddler Travel Tales, it turns out the actual traveling part of our recent trip was the easy part — especially in comparison with the staying in a hotel part. To say that we “slept” in a hotel room with our son would be a gross overstatement since in the four nights we were there, no actual sleeping occurred.

Here are some fun hotel facts that you may not know:

The curtains at the Marriott can hold up to 25 lbs.
Cell phones do not flush, but they do float – for a few seconds.
The contents of a mini-bar cost around $300.
The receiver of the wall phone in the hotel bathroom can reach the toilet bowl — think about that next time you’re in a hotel room.
The bottle opener on the sink can be used for many things including opening a remote control.
Hotel table lamps do not make good kites.
Hotel dresser drawers eventually leak when filled with shampoo.
Every breakable item in a hotel room will fit on top of the armoire if stacked properly.
A toddler standing on the desk can reach the top of the armoire

Being the modern mother that I am, the safety of my child is my first concern. Anticipating that the hotel room would not be child proofed, I packed plastic outlet covers and immediately covered all the electrical outlets as soon as I got in the room. Then I immediately picked them out of the waste can, toilet, suitcases, mini-bar, dresser drawers and window ledge where Sean put them after he picked them out of the outlets.

I really didn’t anticipate that staying in a hotel room with our little boy would be so exhausting. I thought that most of the time we were in the room that we would be sleeping. Isn’t that funny?! I thought we would be sleeping! In a hotel room! Bwaaah! We even ordered a crib to our room so Sean would have a little bed just like at home. We placed it right next to our bed so that he would feel secure. We put him in it with Mr. Monkey and his special blanket. We sang to him and tucked him in, just like at home. Then he stood up and shook the bed like an agitated ape and screamed until our ears bled and the neighbor’s ears bled and they had no other choice but to bang on the wall and beg for mercy, crying, “Please, for the love all that is good and holy, LET HIM OUT!” So we did. We put him in between the two us where he spent the remainder of the night practicing pro-wrestling moves including an impromptu body-slam at 2am.

Another fun hotel fact: This is why hotel windows don’t open.

10 thoughts on “Still Vacationing

  1. LOL! Been there, so many times. I feel your pain. Funny as always. Even more so because there is always an element of truth to your anecdotes.

    Do not, I repeat, do not, stay at a Radisson Inn with a child. They have those sleep number beds. Take a wild guess how long it takes before one of the kids punctures that giant balloon inside the bed jumping on it with baseball cleats.

  2. LOL! I took a vacation with my then 18-month-old while I was 3 months pg with #2 and was begging for mercy by the end of it. Trying to sleep in hotel rooms and eat in restaurants and ride in car seats was just so NOT EASY at that age!

  3. I love it. I hope you are keeping all these posts somewhere for when he is all grown up. Perhaps some day when he is vacationing with his own little one you can pull it out and have a good laugh (while you are sleeping soundly in your own quiet bed).

  4. Could it be possible that, while you are away on this restful, peaceful, lovely vacation (and I say that in the sincerest attitude of hopefulness that it actually is peaceful), you might be pondering which publisher to send your manuscript to???

    I haven’t begged in a while…thought I’d try again. Wink, wink.

  5. I’ve had this experience many times. Going to a hotel is way too exhausting, and that’s just if you hang around the room. Don’t forget the other safety hazards like the pool and the restaraunt.

  6. I feel your pain. I took the two kids (2 & 5 at the time) to a family reunion in Michigan. The first night I put Natty in the pack in play. Noah and I each had a bed. Should be easy right. She did the same crying, screaming thing. I took her out and tried her in bed but then she thought it was play time. I tried letting her cry it out but was afraid I was waking everyone else (luckily they were all family). Finally at 2 a.m. I knocked on my parent’s room and begged for the keys to the rental car with tears streaming down my face. My brother and mom put her in the car and drove around for an hour before they could get her to sleep soundly enough to transfer her. After that I would put her down, Noah and I would go next door to my other brother’s room and we would wait til she was asleep. Then we’s sneak in and crawl into bed. Had to be the WORST hotel stay ever.

  7. Okay I am totally cracking up laughing…
    I especially like the wrestling part πŸ™‚
    And wonder why the windows don’t open…so we dont’ through our children out of them πŸ™‚
    thanks for the laugh

  8. I find you so hilariously funny! I laugh so hard that my abs feel sore.And after 4 kids, that’s major.Thanks for sharing.

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