Antique Crazy, Makes Me Sigh

You Know You’ve Been Married Eight Years When

Your spouse brings home your anniversary dinner in a take-out container and you are just happy that you don’t have to cook and even happier that you don’t have to clean up. You gaze across the table at your partner over your child’s head who is sitting in your lap and audibly passing gas and it doesn’t even ruin your appetite. Photo Temporarily Unavailable In a curious juxtaposition, the flowers that he brought home are sitting on the table amid a pile of socks and underwear waiting to be folded, since yesterday. You’re aware that you’ve…

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Antique Crazy, Mildly Amusing, Parenting Gone Awry

The Roller Coaster

You must be at least 4-feet-tall to ride this ride. Please remain sedated seated and keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times. Do not attempt to exit the ride until happy hour it has come to a full and complete stop. 7am: Aaaaw! Look at him sleeping. What an angel! I adore him. How lucky I am to be his mother. 8am: You wanna wear this shirt? No? Okay, don’t cry. How about this shirt? No? Please, don’t cry. How about this shirt? No? Okay. You’re crying. Don’t cry. You want to wear this?…

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Antique Daddy

Eight Years Ago Today

Photo Temporarily Unavailable Today I celebrate my 8th year of marriage to Antique Daddy. We have weathered a number of storms as all couples do – infertility, chronic illness and then my own cancer – but on the whole there have been far more ups than downs. I think I’m good to go for another eight. Yet even on the days when it’s good that I don’t own a cast iron skillet, there is an anchor that is so solid and heavy and deep that it keeps us steady even in the most turbulent of seas…

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Antique Daddy, Use Your Words

Nature Call

Little known fact: The Navajo invented their super-secret code not to throw off the other Indians, but because they had toddlers. Everyone with a toddler knows that they are omniscient — they see all, hear all and are acutely aware of all. Navajo code is the only way to keep information, which they will use against you, out of their hands. This past weekend we stayed in a hotel and we were enjoying breakfast in the dining room when Antique Daddy leans over to me and almost inaudibly whispers, “Nature calls. I’m going back to the…

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Faith, Reruns and Leftovers

It Takes So Little

Antique Mommy is taking the day off. Here’s something from the archives. The morning sun was harsh and blinding as we headed east. It bullied its way through my windshield and bounced around on the dashboard. It was not the gentle, renewing sun that greets me through my kitchen window every morning and baptizes me into another day of life. This sun cut through my cheap sunglasses and directly into the center of my skull like a gamma knife. This sun pushed my “GO!” button over and over like someone impatient for an elevator. Sean sat…

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Makes Me Sigh

The Tangerine Blouse

I am sitting on the floor in my closet, staring at several boxes of maternity clothes. Antique Daddy:  I wish you were pregnant again. Antique Mommy:  Yeah, me too. Antique Daddy:  I’d be terrified if you were pregnant again. Antique Mommy:  Yeah, me too… Do you think I should give away my maternity clothes? Antique Daddy:  (Silence) Antique Mommy:  Yeah, me too. * * * I know most women hate maternity clothes, but I loved mine.  When Sean came six weeks early in mid-November, I was so disappointed that I had holiday maternity clothes that I…

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Mildly Amusing

No Scott Hamilton

Photo Temporarily Unavailable I took Sean ice-skating for the first time on Monday. Some of you know that I was a figure skater growing up, so I was looking forward to taking Sean this first time. He has a lot of natural balance and did well, as well as anyone can do on rental skates. He really seemed to like it and I began to entertain visions of the two of us going off ice skating together, perfecting our double Lutz together, as all mothers and sons do. When we left the ice, I asked him…

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