Antique Crazy, Makes Me Sigh

You Know You’ve Been Married Eight Years When

Your spouse brings home your anniversary dinner in a take-out container
and you are just happy that you don’t have to cook
and even happier that you don’t have to clean up.

You gaze across the table at your partner
over your child’s head
who is sitting in your lap and audibly passing gas
and it doesn’t even ruin your appetite.

Photo Temporarily Unavailable

In a curious juxtaposition, the flowers that he brought home
are sitting on the table
amid a pile of socks and underwear
waiting to be folded, since yesterday.

You’re aware that you’ve used the word juxtaposition.

It’s 6pm and you are wearing flannel pajama bottoms
and a shirt with macaroni stuck to it.
You are happy that you didn’t have to get cleaned up to go out
because it’s too much work
For a Tuesday night.

To reward him for putting up with you for eight years
you give him a package of M&Ms
which you will eat tomorrow after he leaves for work.
He gives you a gift certificate for an expensive spa package.

You promise yourself you will give him his “real” present tonight,
the one he really wants,
after the kid goes to sleep.
But you are both too tired.

So you drift off to sleep
in his arms
thanking God for a good man,
a patient man,
a sweet life.
another day,
another year.

22 thoughts on “You Know You’ve Been Married Eight Years When

  1. “the one he really wants,
    after the kid goes to sleep.
    But you are both too tired.”

    THANK GOD THAT IS NOT JUST in my household. I always feel like the worst wife in the world when that happens!!!!

  2. Snorting with laughter over the M&Ms (says the girl who ate HALF a bag of Halloween candy yesterday)…

  3. You are dripping with truth and wisdom here AM. And I pulled the same thing with Mr. Right, only it was a small box of truffles. I think he got the first one out of the box…

  4. I have done the M&M’s gift and done what you did….eat them the next day…because of course you are the one that is in the house alllllll the time.

  5. I love this post. It is so beautiful and true and reflective of just how deeply you and your husband love each other. I hope my husband and I are just as happy as you two are 7 years from now.

  6. We have been married 9 years now an that is all so very familiar! I gave my hubby a pack of the new dark chocolate m&m’s last night but made him share with me (he was willing) cause they were ‘New’. And the whole thing about being too tired…oh, yeah!

  7. Happy Anniversary AM and AD! And thanks for giving your readers a gift – your writing is always hilarious, self-depricating, and graceful.

  8. Happy anniversary! I’m so glad I got to meet you this weekend. You really didn’t need to move the laundry just for us! That part doesn’t change with time – only the size of the socks and underwear (the kid’s, not yours, hopefully!).

  9. How very very real this post is! I love it!
    Thanks for the encouragement – we’re skating perilously close to several of these encounters – especially the too tired example – and it’s so good to hear that it’s not abnormal, and yet it can still be sweet.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *