Antique Daddy

Complementary Psychosis

Photo Temporarily Unavailable The major difference between Antique Daddy and me is that he will patiently spend six hours fixing a 98 cent strand of Christmas lights whereas I would wad them up, hurl them across the room, stomp on them and then head to Wal-Mart for more. Complementary psychosis. That’s what makes this marriage work.

Memaw, Tuna

Therapy With A Side Of Cold Cream

My mother-in-law, Cleo, has owned a cosmetics and clothing business on Main Street in downtown Tuna for more than 25 years. She has enjoyed a fair measure of success for a variety of reasons. One, she can flat out sell. That woman could sell the devil a Bible and then he would order a few more for gifts. Two, Papa George stands squarely behind her, encouraging her and supporting her every step of the way. Three, she understands that she is not selling clothes and cosmetics, but hope and dreams. And four, the good people of…

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Tuna

Your Personal Tuna Shopper

While I was in Tuna recently, as a service to my readers, I scoured the retail landscape looking for this year’s must-have holiday gift for that very special someone in your life who has everything. No need to thank me. Photo Temporarily Unavailable Today’s featured item is this one of a kind hand crafted item made completely of seashells! Place him jauntily atop the washer or beside the sofa on the front porch to welcome visitors. Nothings says You Are Special like a seashell Collie. $17.50. Shipping not included. Check back throughout the season for more…

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Mildly Amusing

The Number One Reason You Don’t Want To Be Eaten By A Bear

Today Sean and I went to our local library. We like to go there several times a week. We choose a row of books and camp out on the floor randomly picking out books to read. The library for us is a literary buffet – we take a helping of whatever appeals to the eye and we don’t feel guilty if doesn’t suit our tastes and we don’t finish it. So, today, we pulled out someone’s version of The Three Bears. AM: When she woke up, she saw three bears staring down at her and she…

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Aunt Jean, Tuna

It’s Not A Party Without Properly Cleaned Switchplates

If you’ve been reading this blog very long, you know that Antique Daddy and I are both kind of obsessive compulsive. He is an obsessive wiper downer and I’m obsessive about orderliness. It would probaby be okay if we just limited this brand of craziness to our own house, but we don’t. And that makes us delightful house guests. If you want your bathroom linen closet rearranged and wiped down. Over Thanksgiving we stayed with Aunt Jean who is in her mid-80s. Her schedule rivals that of Condoleeza Rice. The woman is busy and does not…

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Tuna

Blackened Tuna

While many of you were up at the bobo crack of dawn on Black Friday scoring iPods for $3.99 and flat screen TVs for $30, I was warm and cozy in my bed.  I was in Tuna and in Tuna the stores do not open before 10am for any reason. Whatsoever. On the other hand… When I got to the shopping district in downtown Tuna, I pretty much had the place to myself. And the merchandise, well, let’s just call it one-of-a-kind and leave it at that.  Photo Temporarily Unavailable Who doesn’t want a Ronald McDonald head…

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Tuna

Tuna Turkey

Photo Temporarily Unavailable Over the river and through the woods to Memaw and Papa George’s house we go! We are off to Greater Tuna for Thanksgorging! I’ll be back here on Monday with more Tuna Tales. In the meantime, if you’ve missed the Tuna Chronicles, you can read them here. Happy Thanksgiving y’all! Antique Mommy

Parenting Gone Awry

Mercy

As you know, we humans have a tail bone, yet no tail. Some would say evolution explains this. There is no evidence of humans with tails after the Smartassic Period. Scientists believe that what happened was that after a long day with a defiant and back-talking cave kid, some cave mama jerked a knot in his little tail. When God looked down and saw that, he decided that until someone invented Cabernet Sauvignon, tails were probably not such a good idea for the propagation of the human race. And so he started making humans without tails.…

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Parenting Gone Awry

Baby Proofing

Three years ago, I may have made this claim: “I am NOT going to baby-proof my house. This is my house and my things. He will learn to live in my house and he’s going to learn the meaning of the word no. Babies are capable of learning the meaning of the word no.” Goodnight why didn’t someone slap some sense into me? Or some arrogance outta me? Hold on a minute while I slap myself. Ok. That was refreshing. Needless to say, we baby proofed our house. Not just to keep Sean safe, but to…

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Reruns and Leftovers, Wivian

Back To The Archives

It’s a lovely day here in the Dallas metroplex, so Sean and I are going off to have a fun day together and leaving the computer behind. Which means that I’m going to schlufff off (I think I just made that word up) on you something from the archives. I find I do a lot of schluffing these days. But before that, there was this amusing exchange this morning: Sean: Mommy, can I drink this? (my coffee) Me: No, not until you are bigger, then yes, we will drink coffee together. Sean: Daddy don’t drink coffee…

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