Comments on: Motherhood: The Fine Art of Deception http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:59:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Sandy http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2457 Sandy Tue, 14 Nov 2006 17:59:45 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2457 My older friend and mommy mentor taught me the art of mommy-deception when she explained the trick behind convincing your child that if their favorite doll could poo-poo in the potty, they could too... Doll sits on potty, and when mom takes doll off potty, lo and behold, floating inside the potty are... chocolate-covered cheetos! So began my years of mommy-deception. My older friend and mommy mentor taught me the art of mommy-deception when she explained the trick behind convincing your child that if their favorite doll could poo-poo in the potty, they could too… Doll sits on potty, and when mom takes doll off potty, lo and behold, floating inside the potty are… chocolate-covered cheetos! So began my years of mommy-deception.

]]> By: stacey http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2456 stacey Mon, 13 Nov 2006 15:20:17 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2456 You always crack me up! I love that idea for the salt shaker... I'm going to try that!! You always crack me up! I love that idea for the salt shaker… I’m going to try that!!

]]> By: mama speak http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2455 mama speak Mon, 13 Nov 2006 14:57:30 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2455 I don't consider the Santa thing lying. Santa (St. Nicholas) was a real person, I've been to his chuch (Holland) and grave. The way I look at it is that Santa still lives in the hearts of all those who believe in him and continue his tradition of giving. So if I ever get the "you lied to me?" the answer is no, I didn't. And in my house, if you believe Santa still comes, if you don't, guess what? Now, that's not to say I don't fib to TS all the time. My favorite used to be that we were out of things (treats) but she knows where I keep them all & can (and does) use her stepstool to check. She thinks I'm a bit slow because I'll tell her we're out of ice cream and she'll say, "no we're not, I'll show you where it is mama." Apparently I'd forgotten. I don’t consider the Santa thing lying. Santa (St. Nicholas) was a real person, I’ve been to his chuch (Holland) and grave. The way I look at it is that Santa still lives in the hearts of all those who believe in him and continue his tradition of giving. So if I ever get the “you lied to me?” the answer is no, I didn’t. And in my house, if you believe Santa still comes, if you don’t, guess what?

Now, that’s not to say I don’t fib to TS all the time. My favorite used to be that we were out of things (treats) but she knows where I keep them all & can (and does) use her stepstool to check. She thinks I’m a bit slow because I’ll tell her we’re out of ice cream and she’ll say, “no we’re not, I’ll show you where it is mama.” Apparently I’d forgotten.

]]> By: Barb http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2454 Barb Mon, 13 Nov 2006 10:56:30 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2454 Thanks for the morning laugh! Came here from Wooden Porch :) Thanks for the morning laugh!

Came here from Wooden Porch :)

]]> By: Lucy http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2453 Lucy Mon, 13 Nov 2006 03:12:13 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2453 We don't really do Santa in our house because we have St. Nicholas. And our son (5) understands that Santa is one way of "experiencing" St. Nicholas. We've never done the Easter Bunny, but we do the Tooth Fairy. We read lots of elves and fairies types of stories, so that one's not too hard to explain. I, too, believe very strongly in telling my children the truth, but I believe it should be balanced by both the need for appropriate information (do they really need to know that there are more fruit snacks, but they can't have any?) and the magic of childhood and fairy tales. I want to cultivate my children's imaginations and part of that is not always knowing whether something is real or not, or suspending belief in order to enter into the fun and joy of a tradition. Just because we don't "believe" in Santa doesn't mean that he doesn't have a presence in our Christmas celebration, since after all, everything Santa, aka St. Nicholas, does is to the glory of God. That said, we don't talk about Santa bringing gifts only if the kids have been "good." God doesn't work like that and so neither does Santa. I don't want my kids to be such realists that they can't take in the wonder of the Christmas story or the mystery of the Eucharist. Some things simply cannot be explained. We always look for the kernel of truth in even secular traditions to show how everything points back to the all-encompassing love of God. Mystery and magical wonder is something I try to cultivate in myself, because I'm so literal. I want to be able to look for mermaids in the water and dragons in the clouds. My children are my only hope! And I do think that "because I said so" is a perfectly reasonable explanation. After all, even God says that sometimes! We don’t really do Santa in our house because we have St. Nicholas. And our son (5) understands that Santa is one way of “experiencing” St. Nicholas. We’ve never done the Easter Bunny, but we do the Tooth Fairy. We read lots of elves and fairies types of stories, so that one’s not too hard to explain.

I, too, believe very strongly in telling my children the truth, but I believe it should be balanced by both the need for appropriate information (do they really need to know that there are more fruit snacks, but they can’t have any?) and the magic of childhood and fairy tales. I want to cultivate my children’s imaginations and part of that is not always knowing whether something is real or not, or suspending belief in order to enter into the fun and joy of a tradition. Just because we don’t “believe” in Santa doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a presence in our Christmas celebration, since after all, everything Santa, aka St. Nicholas, does is to the glory of God. That said, we don’t talk about Santa bringing gifts only if the kids have been “good.” God doesn’t work like that and so neither does Santa.

I don’t want my kids to be such realists that they can’t take in the wonder of the Christmas story or the mystery of the Eucharist. Some things simply cannot be explained. We always look for the kernel of truth in even secular traditions to show how everything points back to the all-encompassing love of God.

Mystery and magical wonder is something I try to cultivate in myself, because I’m so literal. I want to be able to look for mermaids in the water and dragons in the clouds. My children are my only hope!

And I do think that “because I said so” is a perfectly reasonable explanation. After all, even God says that sometimes!

]]> By: Vanessa http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2452 Vanessa Mon, 13 Nov 2006 02:24:20 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2452 he he he ha ha ha! he he he ha ha ha!

]]> By: Kara http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2451 Kara Sun, 12 Nov 2006 23:39:24 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2451 Very clever! I'm sure I've lied to my 2yr old plenty of times, like "sorry, there's no more juice" (after he's had 5 cups already) or "we'll go for a walk later" (when I'm too tired to get all dressed up to go outside and I know he'll forget by 'later'). Though I try not to lie about bigger stuff. I always knew Santa/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny weren't real, but it was still fun to pretend, that's how I'll raise my kids. Very clever! I’m sure I’ve lied to my 2yr old plenty of times, like “sorry, there’s no more juice” (after he’s had 5 cups already) or “we’ll go for a walk later” (when I’m too tired to get all dressed up to go outside and I know he’ll forget by ‘later’). Though I try not to lie about bigger stuff. I always knew Santa/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny weren’t real, but it was still fun to pretend, that’s how I’ll raise my kids.

]]> By: Neighbor Jane Payne http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2450 Neighbor Jane Payne Sun, 12 Nov 2006 23:02:20 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2450 What a classic post! You are a very gifted writer....thanks for sharing your talent with the rest of us. What a classic post! You are a very gifted writer….thanks for sharing your talent with the rest of us.

]]> By: Cindy http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2449 Cindy Sun, 12 Nov 2006 17:57:57 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2449 How about the blanket fairy ? Did you know that the blanket fairy CANNOT come to retrieve threadbare blankets of any kind WITHOUT parental permission ? How was I supposed to know that he had heard a blanket fairy story in kindergarten that day and had contrived his own money making scheme ?!!! How about the blanket fairy ? Did you know that the blanket fairy CANNOT come to retrieve threadbare blankets of any kind WITHOUT parental permission ?
How was I supposed to know that he had heard a blanket fairy story in kindergarten that day and had contrived his own money making scheme ?!!!

]]> By: Laura http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-2448 Laura Sun, 12 Nov 2006 13:27:38 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/2006/11/09/motherhood-the-fine-art-of-deception/#comment-2448 Just came over from Rocks in my Dryer. What a great post!!! We believe in Santa Claus & the Easter Bunny & we'll believe in the Tooth Fairy when that first tooth falls out (our oldest is 5, youngest is 2). I was raised believing these things, and now instead of feeling everyone is a liar, I'm more apt to believe everything I hear - even though I know the truth. I just think how much fun my parents had making up such wonderful stories to tell us kids (including the reindeer bells on the rooftop, courtesy of Daddy) and how blessed we've been that every Christmas that I can recall, there has been at least one child around who still believed in Santa, so even we adults got to share in the magic. My kids know where babies come from, and how they are born - the truth, not sugar coated. They know about God & Jesus and the birth & the Resurrection - and my oldest shares these stories with friends & family much more than he talks about Santa. I think even my 5 year old may know that Santa is just magic, but Jesus is forever. Let kids be kids - they grow up too fast anyway. Let them believe in the magic as long as they want to. Just came over from Rocks in my Dryer. What a great post!!!

We believe in Santa Claus & the Easter Bunny & we’ll believe in the Tooth Fairy when that first tooth falls out (our oldest is 5, youngest is 2). I was raised believing these things, and now instead of feeling everyone is a liar, I’m more apt to believe everything I hear – even though I know the truth.

I just think how much fun my parents had making up such wonderful stories to tell us kids (including the reindeer bells on the rooftop, courtesy of Daddy) and how blessed we’ve been that every Christmas that I can recall, there has been at least one child around who still believed in Santa, so even we adults got to share in the magic.

My kids know where babies come from, and how they are born – the truth, not sugar coated. They know about God & Jesus and the birth & the Resurrection – and my oldest shares these stories with friends & family much more than he talks about Santa. I think even my 5 year old may know that Santa is just magic, but Jesus is forever.

Let kids be kids – they grow up too fast anyway. Let them believe in the magic as long as they want to.

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