Antique Crazy

I Gave Birth, Where’s MY Cake?

Dear Me!

Happy day of birth! Three years ago today you became a mother! No one prior to you had ever given birth before, you clever, verdant life-giving goddess you. Now it seems everyone is doing it.

My how you have grown in these three short years, and I don’t mean just those few extra McPounds you’ve put on either. You have learned so many new things.

In the past 36 months, that little boy has helped you learn how to relax the lower end of the old digestive tract and so there’s that, if nothing else. You’ve learned that it’s okay to leave a dish in the sink, okay to go out in public without earrings (gasp – I know that one has been hard) and that no one will die if the bed doesn’t get made.

You’ve learned that scotch tape is not really all that precious, your time is worth more than your money and that at the end of the day good enough is the more prudent course of action if you want to remain attached to your few remaining shreds of sanity. You have not learned how to wrap a decent present.

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If the past three years are any indication of what you’re in for, you’re in big trouble sister. You better start working out. That’s all I’m saying. You’ve got a long way to go. If you’re lucky.

Enjoy the cake. All the best to ya’, good luck and God bless.

Love,

Antique Mommy

33 thoughts on “I Gave Birth, Where’s MY Cake?

  1. The first paragraph literally made me hoot. Having never hooted before it was somewhat surprising, but I hope to do it again in the near future.

  2. Happy birthday! And you are very, very funny – I remember being simply astounded at all of the pregnant women around me while I was pregnant – I’d never really been aware of them before. It was nice of everyone to get pregnant at the same time as me like that, eh?

  3. “No one prior to you had ever given birth before, you clever, verdant life-giving goddess you. Now it seems everyone is doing it.”

    You articulated the sentiment of a new mom, perfectly.

  4. Happy birthday Sean and Congratulations on a job well and truly done, AM! Great pictures – love the conspiratorial looks you and Sean are sharing…

  5. “You’ve learned that scotch tape is not really all that precious, your time is worth more than your money and that at the end of the day good enough is the more prudent course of action…”

    One of your best yet! The photo of you with tears in your eyes brought tears to mine.

  6. Happy Birth-Day to you and to your precious boy. You are in for quite a ride…the phrase you ain’t seen nothin’ yet comes to mind. Enjoy it! They grow up way to fast!

  7. Happy Birthday to my little train buddy! Give Mommy extra smooches, especially if you’ve just eaten ice cream…

    AM, you seriously have done a marvelous job with Sean. He is a dear, sweet miracle who will bring you much laughter and tears (and not all of them will be out of motherhood frustrations) of joy in the years to come. You are a great example of mothering with a sense of humor and a heaping dose of wisdom.

    Thanks for sharing your family with us.

    And by all means, follow your advice and eat the cake! You’ve earned that chocolatey goodness.

  8. Happy birthday Sean! I’ve had to let go of scotch tape, too. It’s just too much fun watching what a child can do with a roll of that stuff to ever worry about running out.

  9. Thank you for sharing your letter to self and the lovely pics of you and your boy. Ain’t you both somethin’? What an amazing thing is motherhood–whether you can wrap a present or not!

  10. Happy Birthday! And Happy Birth Day!

    Take a marker, draw a smiley face on that wrapping paper and we’ll call you Martha! I’m still working on the “value of scotch tape” thing. 🙂

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