Parenting Gone Awry


As you know, we humans have a tail bone, yet no tail. Some would say evolution explains this.

There is no evidence of humans with tails after the Smartassic Period. Scientists believe that what happened was that after a long day with a defiant and back-talking cave kid, some cave mama jerked a knot in his little tail. When God looked down and saw that, he decided that until someone invented Cabernet Sauvignon, tails were probably not such a good idea for the propagation of the human race. And so he started making humans without tails. I know this to be true, because if Sean had a tail I most certainly would have jerked a knot in it on Sunday.

Sunday was one of those days when Sean wanted to see if he could make his mother cry. And if not for the fact that I am every bit as stiff necked and defiant as he is, I would have. I hope he learns, sooner than I did, that having a stiff neck makes life hard.

By the end of the day, I was asking God to remind me why I ever thought I wanted to be a mother. It was all I could do not to slam dunk him into bed. After a long hot bath my neck and heart had softened. I crept into his room and looked down into the crib and saw that face, a smaller version of my face, sleeping the sleep of angels. I remembered why I ever thought I wanted to be a mother.

Mercy. Just in time for another day.

20 thoughts on “Mercy

  1. Smartassic period. Nice.

    Never thought about knotting their tails. Though I’m pretty sure our hands are not detachable because I would have taken theirs and hid them.

  2. I am so sorry that you had such a stressful day with your son. From time to time they can be just monsters. Then it passes and they are good again. I hope that your Thanksgiving is great.

  3. You are such a clever lady. I remember the feeling well. You’re doing a great job. Some day, and I know this from experience, he will wrap his arms around you (because he is much taller than you) and give you a big hug and tell you just how great a mom you are. It never gets old – not even when they’re 37 and have five children of their own.

  4. I always think of the Friends episode where Phoebe’s brother watches his kids sleep and says “I really treasure these moments because pretty soon…they’ll be awake again.”

  5. When my son woke screaming and inconsolable this morning at 6am I had one of those “what was I thinking?” moments. Thirty solid minutes of screaming and writhing without any apparent cause.

    Then, at 7:30, he woke up sunny, happy and smiley. It’s all about preservation of the species…

  6. Evolution must have passed us by, because we are still in the Smartassic period around this house.

  7. Oh my word do I remember those days. We still have them, but they are not as rampant as they were at ages 2 and 3. I cannot tell you how many times I called my MIL in tears begging her to come and take my eldest before I did something we’d both regret–even if it was just tying him to the bed.

  8. These to shall pass, I am glad your heart softened at the end of a hard day, they are so sweet when they sleep,I am so glad you have each other. Cute post as always.

  9. I’m so tickled that I’ve got tears in my eyes! I love it. Reminded me of the time when my brother yelled at 5 of 5 and told him to get his tail up from the basement. When he did manage to get upstairs he said “Daddy, I don’t have a tail.” He was 3.

    The smartassic period? LOL

  10. That was both very funny and very sweet. I’m thinking your theory is right on target. I have threatened to “jerk a knot in your tail” a few times.

  11. This post brought a tear to my eye, and made me remember when my kids were young. However, you will still creep in on them sleeping when they’re t**nagers and feel the same way. It must be “sleep guilt” or something. Even my ex-husband looked like an angel when he slept.

  12. This is why I make it a point to look in on them when I go to bed. To remind me that they are beautiful and precious and to ask God to not let me be such a jerk tomorrow.

    Pretty soon my tomorrows with them will be gone.

  13. yeah . . . *sigh* they’re so lovable when they are sleeping.

    Sundays are particullariy challanging since the schedule is thrown all out of wack.

    Probably why God gave them an early bed too. (He did give them an early bed didn’t He?)

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