Aunt Jean, Tuna

It’s Not A Party Without Properly Cleaned Switchplates

If you’ve been reading this blog very long, you know that Antique Daddy and I are both kind of obsessive compulsive. He is an obsessive wiper downer and I’m obsessive about orderliness. It would probaby be okay if we just limited this brand of craziness to our own house, but we don’t. And that makes us delightful house guests. If you want your bathroom linen closet rearranged and wiped down.

Over Thanksgiving we stayed with Aunt Jean who is in her mid-80s. Her schedule rivals that of Condoleeza Rice. The woman is busy and does not have time to be bothered with a misfolded towel or a water spot on the counter. Enter the Antiques.

The day after Thanksgiving, Aunt Jean hosted the annual gathering of the cousins. About 35 people descended upon her house like a horde of pimento cheese-eating locusts. Since we were staying with her, we “helped” her get ready for the gathering. By helped I mean that I arranged the sandwich tray so that it was symmetrical and Antique Daddy wiped down everything.

The next morning as we were eating breakfast, we basked in the glory of the success of the event. Aunt Jean agreed. “Yes indeed,” she said, “The party was a big success and I think we owe it all the fact that Antique Daddy unscrewed all the switch plates and wiped behind them.”

Zing! Oh to be so quick and snarky. I bow at her feet and pray that my son might have inherited some of her DNA. And that just a smidge might rub off on me by proximity.

23 thoughts on “It’s Not A Party Without Properly Cleaned Switchplates

  1. She’s a hoot!! As far as compulsive cleaning goes, I think my husband’s late Uncle won the prize in our family. As soon as we got up from the table after a delicious dinner, he would whip out the vacuum cleaner and start vacuuming the dining room. You had to be quick in order not to be swept off your feet!!

  2. Zings like that are priceless…Do you think one can get some of that good kind of quickness and snarkiness just by reading about it on a blog? I can hope, can’t I? (My DNA tends to O/C but either dry as toast about it all or else a leetle bit tooooo snarky.)

  3. How have I been reading your blog long enough to know immediately, “Oh, Aunt Jean –she’s the one with the bouncin’ and behavin’ hair!” but just now be figuring out what a neat freak the two of you are??? I’m trying to get over it — quick and snarky are the defense mechanisms of those of us who feel as if the neat freaks of the world are grossed out by us because they go around and clean up behind us! I love Aunt Jean more all the time! 🙂

  4. That’s the kind of wittiness we *all* aim for.

    PS. When I saw that your husband was an obsessive “wiper-downer” my first thought was “does wiping down mean wiping toward the ass or toward the crotch? Which way is down?”

    Sorry. Should have kept that one to myself probably.

  5. The whole time I was at my mom’s for Thanksgiving I was wondering if she would notice if I threw some stuff away and cleaned. I’m sure I sound crazy, but she STILL has a broken stool upside down on the cabinet in the laundry room from my middle school years. I’m 32…
    I also was imagining what I would have to do to sell the house, like on Flip This House. I think I’d rather just tell my brother “It’s all yours!” What a nightmare!

  6. Well if you got a smidge of it on you, Antique Daddy would probably just wipe it off again.

    And I long for you all to be house guests… How about right before we put our house on the market, say in the spring?

    You certainly are blessed with Aunt Jean!

  7. On a wet, cold Sunday aftermnoon in England, you are a joy to read. Look forward to reading all your blogs

  8. I found your blog in a round about way. I make switch plates and googled using the word switch plates and this came up.

    I really enjoyed your story, it gave me a chuckle. Your Aunt Jean sounds like a spitfire!

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