Mildly Amusing, Wal-Mart

Electric Cart Lady Karma

I lost Sean’s diaper bag, but thanks to some good electric cart lady karma, I got it back.

I really hate to lose things. I check my wallet three or four times after using my credit card to make sure that I have put it back in it’s proper place and my plane tickets are always gray and frayed by the time I hand them to the gate agent from making sure they are still in my purse where I put them three minutes before. But the worst part of losing something is the obsessing that must follow.

I really hated to lose this bag because after going through several different versions, this particular diaper bag was just right – not too big, not too small and not too fem for Antique Daddy to carry. It’s made of brown canvas and has little outer pockets for drinks and lots of inner pockets for Clorox wipes and Purell and all the rest of the disinfecting stuff we OCD types haul around. I found this bag in the tack shop at PetCo and now that I think about it, I’ve probably been carrying around a feedbag. Which makes my total lack of cool make a lot more sense.

It was several days before I realized Sean’s feedbag diaper bag was MIA, but I knew exactly where it was. Wal-Mart. I mean it’s not like I had been to the spa, Neiman’s, The Kimball and then out for a three-martini lunch. If I had been, I certainly wouldn’t have had a diaper bag with me and if I did have a diaper bag with me, I would have chucked it out the car window on my way down the driveway. No, sadly, if I’m not at home, I’m probably at Wal-Mart – another contributing factor to my chronic uncool.

Over the Christmas holidays we had a lot of visitors. A lot. And old Mother Antique Mommy’s cupboard was bare. I normally keep the pantry of a Mormon housewife. I usually have enough canned and dried goods on hand to survive a nuclear winter or at least host dinner for 120 on short notice, except for table favors and I doubt even Martha can do that. So I had to make one of those grueling stocking-up trips to the store. In the process of unloading one metric ton of canned goods onto the conveyor belt and spinning the turnstyle-bag-thingee and shouting “Big money!” as though I was on Wheel of Fortune, keeping track of Sean and chastising the cashier as I like to do, I must have set the diaper bag on the floor or somewhere I wouldn’t usually set it. Oh that the person in line behind me might have beseeched the cashier on my behalf to return my bag.

Several days later, when I finally did realize the bag was missing, I went back to the store, stood in line at the Customer Service desk only to have the gal tell me that she hadn’t seen a brown diaper bag. When I asked her if she could please just look, she tossed a glance over her shoulder and said, “Nope. Don’t see it.” Deflated, yet undeterred in my obsession, I went home where I could obsess more comfortably.

Like Nancy Drew (minus Ned and a convertible) I could not rest until the mystery of the vanishing diaper bag was solved. Three days later I decided to give it one last try and I called the store to inquire about said diaper bag hoping for a different person with a different answer. Apparently I had earned some good karma on the electric-cart-lady-egg-return deal. Someone competent answered the phone. She asked me to hold on while she checked lost and found. After she dropped the phone on the desk (which rendered me deaf only for a short time), she shuffled some papers, knocked over some boxes, used a blower dryer, ran her desk through a wood chipper and then zipped up an angry cat into a suitcase – at least that’s what it sounded like on my end anyway. Then she got back on the line and reported that yes indeed, they had my diaper bag! I was so happy.

I have my diaper bag back and I owe it all to the Electric Cart Lady. God bless you Electric Cart Lady.

25 thoughts on “Electric Cart Lady Karma

  1. I *hate* losing stuff too. I remember the first thing of my son’s that I lost. It was a little blue bear that came with a bunch of flowers we received while in hospital. Left it in the trolley… gone forever.

    In fact I’ve just had child number two and I managed to leave something behind at the hospital. The losing is happening faster.

    Guess this means you’ll be sending boys after ladies with eggs next time then.

  2. I loved your description of the competent Walmart employee on the phone! It was really funny!

    About your karma, I always tell my kids that you get what you give. See? I was right! That’s the way the world works….

  3. I realize you only go to Walmart, but if you get a chance will you please go to Neimans with the feed bag from Petco? I’d just like to see if they’d even let you in the door.

  4. I make myself so sick over things I lose..I’m glad you found it….come visit me Me and Scott’s pics are up you can see what we look like..we decided to finally show ourselves…LOL!

  5. “I usually have enough canned and dried goods on hand to survive a nuclear winter or at least host dinner for 120 on short notice, except for table favors and I doubt even Martha can do that.”

    I bet you even have the table favors with your creativity and inspiration.

    So glad you got your feedbag back. Those darn kids just get so attached to things. (Okay, we do too, but as a mom, we always get to blame the kids.)

    Oh, and I’m already working on a competent Walmart employee for the future. My daughter has said that it would be neat to work at Walmart. (Do employees get a discount? If yes, I will be encouraging this endeavor until she turns 16. Of course she also said it would be cool to work at Chik-fil-A… Decisions, decisions…)

  6. Congrats! Glad you got your feedbag back.

    Sometime just before Christmas of 2005 (so over a year ago), I took my kid to Target for some stuff. Somewhere in the store, we lost her hat. We retraced our steps, we went to customer service, no hat. I left a note with customer service, I returned to customer service several times in the weeks following, no hat. To this day, whenever we go into that Target, Miss M. says “where’s my hat”.

  7. That is wonderful that you got your bag back! Don’t you want to go back to Customer Service, stand in line to make sure you get the same gal, and ask for your bag again and make sure to tell her to go look in lost and found and have her run all over looking for it, then tell her what she did. She could have gone to lost and found and gotten it, since it was there all the time. I know, I’m vindictive, hehe. My kids literally put their hoods on and pull the strings tight so no one can see their faces when we go through the McDonald’s drive thru! I don’t tolerate incompetence. If you can’t read an order, you shouldn’t be working at McDonald’s, and don’t get me started on the girl who couldn’t count my money and said I was short money and after 3 times of counting it wrong, I counted it into her hand for her! I’m a secret shopper, too, so I notice these things even more, lol.
    God bless,

  8. So glad you actually got the bag back. Have you called Guiness yet? That has to be the only competent WM employee and she must be on rotation. Oh, and could you please go let my cat out of that bag?

  9. I just hate it when the CSM’s at Walmart run their desks through wood chippers and zip angry cats into suitcases.

    Sister and I have an ever-expanding list of things we’ve overheard on Walmart intercoms. My absolute favorite is when we lived in Baton Rouge and all the sudden I heard a panicked speaker-voice yell, “STU?!?! COME TO HARDWARE!!!”

    I always wondered if someone had gotten their hand caught in the little contraption that makes keys.

    I guess I’ll never know.

  10. Seriously, they could launch a nuclear bomb from those phones — don’t they have a hold button?

    I must not have good electric cart lady karma — and I certainly never call twice about a lost object. Perseverance evidently pays!

  11. This is a great post on losing your bag, but I want to see a picture of it. I’ve been through so many diaper bags that it’s not even funny! It’s not that I lose them; it’s that I hate them. I spend hours trying to find the “right” one, only to hate it a few days later. Please, do share a photo or a website of this bag that you love!

  12. Antique Mommy, Thanks for the laughter – I needed it today!
    By the way – I LOVE your feedbag! You may start a new trend, hee hee.

  13. PS…I noticed those Equine bags are ALL SOLD OUT on that website! You blog must have caused quite the rush on “Gotta-have-a-bag-like-AM!” ;P

  14. I loved that story being a little on the OCD side myself and hating to lose stuff. However, I spend the better part of the day looking for things that I haven’t even lost. ????? Please don’t ever lose Sean.

  15. So can you help me find my mailbox key? I haven’t been able to get my mail in about 5 days and am too cheap to pay the $40 to rekey the box 🙂

  16. Oh, heavens alive … Can I please, please, PLEASE have just a DROP of your sense of humor? And your awesome writting skills? Please?

    I’m so glad I got to meet you face to face! (yeah, I’m still thinking about that!)

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