It sounds to me like your little boy is a guy of strong character, who knows what he wants. He may be the kind (like one of mine was) who takes control by NOT EVER giving in to rewards or praise. Actually, I was similar myself. If someone clapped hands and told me I was ‘good’, that was a guarantee I would never again repeat the action.

Hence my potty training method was: buy a potty. Buy some ‘big-boy’pants and inform the child ONCE that when he’s big enough to go without nappies, he can wear them. Then ignore the topic completely. And, when he does decide to do something in the potty, make no fuss whatsoever. No rewards – after all, it’s just part of growing up, and htey shouldn’t be doing this to please their parents. No big praise or fuss. Definitely no telling anyone else. Just ‘oh, well done’ or something low-key but friendly.

One of mine decided at about two-and-three-quarters that he would go without nappies – his suggestion – and within a week was entirely dry. The other at a younger age insisted on running around naked from the waist down, and doing it in the right place. He too was dry within about a week. I never did any ‘training’. I figured they’d work out when they were ready, and just get on with it, like they did with talking and walking and everything else.

Amira, our daughter, the other day told us that she did two peeps and two poops, as my husband was walking away he muttered to himself “But what color were they?” and I frantically hushed him, only for us to hear “Brown!” yelled from the bathroom.

This is the same child who informed us there was a pinecone in the potty seat the first time she pooped in there. Sure enough, it didlook like a pinecone.

At that point I told him he was old enough to poop in the toilet and if he decided not to go there, HE was in charge of cleaning it up. After that point, whenever he had an “on purpose” (definitely not an accident in his case), I’d bring him in the bathroom with a heap of baby wipes and a trash can, and tell him to go to it. Then I’d leave, taking the rug with me.

Ten minutes or so later (after much complaining and fussing on his part) I’d go in and direct the finishing touches, including a bath, and help him get dressed. I was perfectly pleasant about it, telling him I was so proud he was old enough to clean up his own messes now.

Well, he didn’t like that plan a bit. Seems he thought it was fine for me to clean up his poop, but he didn’t want to mess his hands. Wanna guess how many times we had to do this before he was perfectly poop-trained? TWICE. he never pooped his pants again after that.

Making a kid deal with his own *%$#? Powerful stuff, I tell ya.

Note: I’d only do this with an older toddler who was really ready but just being stubborn. But I have heard from more than one mom that this worked for their kid too.

Mary, mom to many (and not really a mean mom, despite this post)

Forget About Readiness Signs: Toilet Train Before 30 Months” by John Rosemond, a family psychologist. Here’s an excerpt from his article:

“My recommended method – which I term “Naked and $75″ – has been the subject of extensive media coverage. Here’s how it works: Let the child walk around the house naked from the waist down, put the potty where it is easily accessible and correct mistakes matter-of-factly. The $75 is for carpet and furniture cleaning. The overwhelming majority of parents who have employed “Naked and $75″ have reported success. The failures have almost always concerned kids older than 30 months. This is consistent with the opinions of other researchers, including Dr. Bruce Taubman, a pediatrician with Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia, who has said he has a “hunch” that the critical period for this training lies between 24 and 30 months. The New York Times reported on January 12, 2000 that 92% of children in 1957 were toilet trained by age 18 months.”

SeaBird