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  • PP Protocol

    January 26, 2007

    Overheard from the bathroom:

    Antique Daddy: Okay, aim…. Very good…. No Sean, you don’t need toilet paper.

    Sean: But Mommy give me toilet paper.

    Antique Daddy: Yeah, but she’s a girl and she doesn’t know any better.


    1. Tara says:

      Love it.

      I’m starting to think about toilet training. Want to get ds into three year old kindy, but he needs to be potty trained.

      Don’t think he wants to though.

      January 26th, 2007 at 7:11 am

    2. Traci says:

      Classic! I’ve learned all kinds of things – like it’s just not cool to drop your pants all the way to the floor. I was just happy that the kid goes. And I’m more focused on the wipe yourself phase of training now…So I’m leaving the finer points of PP protocol to the dad, too.

      Then I’ve been overhearing the 4yo “teaching” (not so patiently) the 2yo about going in the toilet. “See, it’s sooooo easy. You can do it any time. And then you won’t stink so much.”

      January 26th, 2007 at 7:20 am

    3. An Iowa Mom says:

      Are you throwing froot loops in for him to aim at? 🙂 That’s always fun! My boys would always want to use toilet paper too! I don’t seem the harm … less drips, less mess!

      January 26th, 2007 at 7:46 am

    4. Rocks in my Dryer says:

      Ah, yes, I remember that conversation, though ours was a little more dramatic. If I remember correctly, Hubs cautioned, “Do you want to have the kid at school who gets clobbered in the bathroom for using TP when he pees?”

      Um, noooo….

      January 26th, 2007 at 8:14 am

    5. Mommy says:

      Why? Why? Why do men not use toilet paper? Just more proof that we are not made the same and we will never understand each other completely.

      January 26th, 2007 at 8:24 am

    6. Jill says:

      Hahaha! He’s kind of right — or at least he would be in my case. The Boy is just starting the potty training and I was lamenting to another mom that I don’t know what to do with that equipment!

      January 26th, 2007 at 8:35 am

    7. Sandy says:

      It is a pure thrill when they get old enough that when they have to go potty at the restaurant, *DADDY* has to take them! But on the flip side, Daddy also teaches them all the varying types of flatulence, with all the respective names…

      January 26th, 2007 at 8:38 am

    8. Mombo says:

      And so it begins…She doesn’t know any better?! And he can’t be the kid who gets clobbered for using TP if he uses the stall. My response to hubby would be, “So I guess you’re volunteering to do his laundry now?”

      January 26th, 2007 at 8:43 am

    9. Tonya says:

      I don’t have boys but I have always told hubby if we did…they would have to “blot” and he tells me I’m crazy! LOL~

      January 26th, 2007 at 8:44 am

    10. Tara says:

      I LOVE that! It kinda reminds me of what happend to me on New Years. My husband and I were driving separate cars home from my in-laws house. I had the two boys with me in the van and he had our daughter in the car with him. We were about halfway home and I get this announcement from my 4 year old, “Mom, I need to go potty.” We still had thirty minutes and I asked him if he could hold it until we got home. Of course the answer was, “I need to go REALLY bad.” Uh oh, my husband was several exits in front of me and we were in the worst possible part in all of Kansas City, not to mention I am seven and a half months pregnant at the time. So I do what any sensible mom does in this situation. I called my husband and asked him if he could pull over and wait for us, so he could take our son to the bathroom. His reply…”There is an empty water bottle in the van, pull over, make sure the doors are locked and let him pee in the bottle.” Like I would have ever thought of that!

      January 26th, 2007 at 8:49 am

    11. Amy H says:

      LOL. at work. Geesh. Trying to get me in trouble.

      January 26th, 2007 at 9:49 am

    12. Jennifer says:

      Umm, put me in the ranks of the “what is UP with the not blotting?”


      When you do dishes do you just shake off the spoons and put them back in the drawer? No. Why? Because they still wouldn’t be dry. I think you see where I’m going with this.

      January 26th, 2007 at 10:33 am

    13. Marian says:

      I did the same thing when potty training my first boy. It’s a very defensible mistake, though, don’t you think? I mean, it would make sense. Yes, in my humble opinion, it wouldn’t hurt them to USE A SQUARE OR TWO! I do the laundry in our house. I see the results. In one place or another, things get wiped…

      January 26th, 2007 at 11:17 am

    14. Jill @ Who Could Ask for Anything More says:

      I have a one-year old son so I have not dealt with this personally yet. However, my husband has an older son and one day he told me, with a roll of his eyes, that his son’s mom had taught him to use toilet paper. I was perplexed as to why that was bad. He said, “Honey, boys don’t blot. They shake.” I have been enlightened ever since.

      January 26th, 2007 at 11:25 am

    15. ReneeM says:

      oh, the laughter you all brought me this morning!!!

      They also think they don’t need to wash their hands when they pee… ?!?!?!?!

      January 26th, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    16. qtpies7 says:

      I teach the boys sitting down, and then daddy steps in later and teaches standing up peepee. I don’t like to clean the mess up! Last year we were having drips on the seat, and my youngest boy is 11! I told my husband that us girls were sick of sitting in pee! So he gathered the boys, 2 were teens, and told them if mom or the girls sit in pee again, he would start going with them and watching them pee to see who it is! LOL We have not had a single drop since then! (the boys knew who it was and I think they may have put some pressure on the little guy, like, if dad has to watch me pee, I’m gonna give you a reason to pee sitting down!)

      January 26th, 2007 at 12:11 pm

    17. Lauren S. says:

      How funny! However, if the dads were the ones cleaning the messes, they might feel differently!

      January 26th, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    18. Polly says:

      I guess that converstaion is overheard by every mommy in the world.
      Your husband left out a very important part….or at least one my 4.5 year old thinks is important. “I have to shake it, mommy.” Humm, what do I know?

      January 26th, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    19. Crazy Working Mom says:

      *LOL* Now that’s funny!

      January 26th, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    20. Kilikina says:

      That’s just too funny.

      January 26th, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    21. janet says:

      it always helped my sons to watch hy husband go. You know, little boys want to be just like their dads.
      I do what Tara does. we always have an empty water bottle in the car. It helps tons even though Husband is not so supportive of it.

      January 26th, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    22. Antique Mommy says:

      Janet, One thing I’ve learned in my short tenture as a mother is never go anywhere in the car without a recepticle in which to catch bodily fluids, from one end or the other. Oh the things Dr. Spock never told me.

      January 26th, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    23. Kim says:

      Well, you learn something new every day, right? Being a single mom with 2 girls all this is greek to me! Very funny!

      January 26th, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    24. Antique Mommy says:

      Polly, I will never be able to think of the song “There’s A Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On” in the same way again.

      January 26th, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    25. Terri says:

      When my youngest nephew was training, we threw Cherrios in the potty for him to “shoot” at. It worked in that he wanted to play the game, he just didn’t want to touch “it”. He would say, “you hold it” I would come back with “I’M not going to hold it!” Then he’d say, “Well, I’M not going to hold it…” It was a standoff until somebody held it before it did some damage!

      January 26th, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    26. Nancy says:

      I’m all for a little TP action.
      No matter how much you shake it, there is always a little dew left on the lily.

      January 26th, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    27. cathy says:

      there may always be a little dew left on the lilly, but, trust me when i tell you, you do not want your son to be the one to use toilet paper when he pees at school!! just put a little extra clorox in the wash ladies, it’s not that big a deal! at least not when compared to what will be said and done to him at school. listen to your husbands. the retired school counselor

      January 26th, 2007 at 9:07 pm

    28. txmommy says:

      LOL that is really funny

      January 26th, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    29. daring young mom says:

      The truth is you DO know better. I don’t care if it’s only a drip. Toilet paper should be used by all people regardless of gender. Thank you and have a nice day.

      January 27th, 2007 at 1:03 am

    30. Chrystal says:

      SO FUNNY! I thought I was the only one having this dilemma! I too am a “wiper” :). Recently, because I’ve been chided by my husband, I’ve decided to start a mantra with my son at his potty breaks….”Shake, shake, shake, to the bottom of the lake”! I don’t know that his Daddy will like this routine either 🙂

      January 27th, 2007 at 9:13 am

    31. Roxanne says:

      If I take the boy to the potty–I blot him myself–otherwise I really don’t care ’cause little boy’s underwear are probably 50 times cleaner than little girls’ underwear any day. What cracks me up is when my little guy tries to use the fly of his undies–even his Daddy told him he needed to wait a bit before trying that one again. HA!!!

      January 27th, 2007 at 9:53 am

    32. Lei says:

      Yes – for the sake of all coed public gas station bathrooms across America – blot the drip! We really need to start a revolution here, don’t ya think???

      January 27th, 2007 at 4:26 pm

    33. Jess says:

      Antique Mommy,

      I just found your blog by way of catching up on my reading at Everyday Mommy … you are fabulous!!! I love your blog …

      devoted follower,

      January 27th, 2007 at 6:47 pm

    34. Toni says:

      Sounds like my house!

      January 27th, 2007 at 9:29 pm

    35. Mme.Lionheart! says:

      This post with all it’s comments has really cheered me up, on what is a very busy Sunday for me. I can get on with my housework now, on a much better footing!

      January 28th, 2007 at 4:37 am

    36. Misslionheart says:

      Not sure what happened there!

      January 28th, 2007 at 4:40 am

    37. Jennifer says:

      Hilarious! I wipe my 3 year old after he pees…I don’t think my husband even knows I do that. Wonder what his reaction would be??
      I’ve also learned (from these comments) that pulling the pants down to the ankles isn’t a good idea either?? SO…leave the pants up and no toilet paper?? The male ritual of peeing is very complicated!

      January 28th, 2007 at 8:22 am

    38. Wendy Boucher says:

      Glad I’m just dealing with girl parts. I have that manual.

      January 28th, 2007 at 7:12 pm

    39. jessica T. says:

      You just tickle me! I think all of the comments are great too!

      January 29th, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    40. jen says:

      You just gave birth to him….but you dont know any better…..

      January 29th, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    41. Carola says:

      that is too funny! I’m still not dealing with potty training and I am not looking forward to it…

      January 30th, 2007 at 4:15 am

    42. GiBee says:

      I have nightmares of overhearing this very same conversation in a powder room at my home.

      Thanks for the nervous twitch.

      January 30th, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    43. Dawn says:

      My 3 year old was in Sunday School one morning and had to use the bathroom. One of his teachers took him and when he was finished, handed him his toilet paper. “I don’t need any.” He said, “my daddy says we’re men, and we let it drip in our underwear.” Sigh… dh still hasn’t heard the end of this one LOL.

      February 11th, 2007 at 6:23 am

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