Recent Posts

  • © Antique Mommy 2005-2017
  • All rights reserved.
  • Make Up Bag, Then and Now

    January 31, 2007

    If you are under the age of 27, you probably don’t want this information. Go on then and enjoy your firm skin and lip gloss and live life ignorantly blissful for another 20 years. And when you see me tweezing my chin in the car, just look the other way.

    Then: 1987
    Now: 2007

    Then: Lip Gloss (sparkly strawberry)
    Now: Lipstick (age-defying, non-bleeding, matte-finish)

    Then: Concealer for zits
    Now: Concealer for zits and dark circles

    Then: Mini-pad (in case I start)
    Now: Mini-pad (in case I sneeze)

    Then: Eyelash curler
    Now: Tweezers

    Then: Hair spray
    Now: Ponytail holder

    Then: Spare contact lens
    Now: Magnifying glass

    Then: Altoids
    Now: Skittles

    56 Comments »

    1. Homeschool Mama says:

      You had me with minipad for sneezing… Thanks for the giggle to start my day.

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:06 am

    2. Terri says:

      …and amen!

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:11 am

    3. Susan J. says:

      “A mini pad in case I sneeze” – hilarious. You could have added cough or laugh. To quote the Rolling Stones: “What a drag it is getting old.”

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:14 am

    4. Antique Mommy says:

      sneeze, cough, laugh, blink… breathe.

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:16 am

    5. Roxanne says:

      Oh. . .the mini pad. . .ROFL. Maybe I need to keep one near my computer for when I read your posts. . .I thought it was a bit unfair that I had to wear “feminine protection” the ENTIRE 9 months I was pregnant with the boy since the girl had done all sorts of damage to my urethra which hours of kegels cannot fix.

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:19 am

    6. lrlwreath says:

      Oh my goodness you got me at Mini-pads, YOU KNOW I am going to be chuckling all day on this one!!!!

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:31 am

    7. Misty says:

      I love your blog. You always make me laugh. I am 39 and pregnant btw! I consider myself antique too.

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:31 am

    8. Margaret says:

      Cracking up here too. Y’day my daughter found my mini-pad in my purse. Had to explain to an 8 year old about bladder control and sneezing.

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:54 am

    9. Karlanee says:

      Oh, so true. So sadly true.

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:55 am

    10. Antique Mommy says:

      I might have told her it was a big bandaid.

      January 31st, 2007 at 8:56 am

    11. Jeana says:

      IN CASE I SNEEZE. Love it.

      Not that I, uh, know what you’re talking about or anything…

      January 31st, 2007 at 9:04 am

    12. Code Yellow Mom says:

      The breath mints vs. Skittles…ha! That is it exactly. Sometimes I console myself with a compromise: Mentos.

      January 31st, 2007 at 9:07 am

    13. Beck says:

      Sneezing. Oh dear. That took me a few minutes to get and really, it should not have.

      January 31st, 2007 at 9:24 am

    14. wordgirl says:

      With three sons and no daughters I see I’m going to have to hire someone to tweeze the extra long hairs from my chin when I go into the “home”. Does it illustrate my point when I say that my father is half Russian/half German and I blame that portion of my lineage for the black chin hairs.

      January 31st, 2007 at 9:44 am

    15. Shalee says:

      See… this is where I messed up in the first place. A make-up bag? That’s what I should have had all along? Hmmm. That explains a lot about my lack of fashion sense. I thought those little bags were for pencils.

      And the mini-pad comment was brilliant… you had me chuckling, thereby earning “the look” from the boss-man. I’m sure he worries about my sanity quite often – as he should.

      January 31st, 2007 at 9:45 am

    16. wordgirl says:

      Wait…that last sentence was a quetion and needs to be punctuated accordingly.

      January 31st, 2007 at 9:45 am

    17. Big Mama says:

      Why didn’t anyone tell us that as you age, you start to grow hairs off your chin?

      You cracked me up as usual.

      January 31st, 2007 at 10:26 am

    18. maggie says:

      LOL!
      But where are the kiddie emergency things, like a sheet of stickers and a box of raisins??

      January 31st, 2007 at 10:35 am

    19. An Iowa Mom says:

      Cracking up here! Too funny … and sad that is actually soooo true for all of us aging women! Thanks for keeping it light so we can laugh about it!! 🙂

      January 31st, 2007 at 10:54 am

    20. Jenny in Ca says:

      my oh my, you have me laughing! Specially the sneezing part…I’ve had 4 kids, I know there-on you speak!

      January 31st, 2007 at 11:05 am

    21. Karen says:

      Oh my…lanta! I thought I was the only one that wore mini pads for that purpose! Sigh…You just have to love being a mom – such a special club!

      January 31st, 2007 at 11:13 am

    22. Elizabeth says:

      Hilarious! And I really wish I understood why I have to fight pesky zits at the same time I’m covering up dark circles and plucking chin hairs.

      January 31st, 2007 at 11:39 am

    23. Lundie says:

      Just beautiful.

      January 31st, 2007 at 11:59 am

    24. Kim says:

      You and all your readers must have a better sense of humor than I do. I am ok replacing mints with candy or in my case tums, and I can cope ok with the panty liners…but the first time I found a chin hair I considered becoming a shut in! It does help to know that I am not alone in my hairiness. Love your blog.

      January 31st, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    25. Kim says:

      You and all your readers must have a better sense of humor than I do. I am ok replacing mints with candy or in my case tums, and I can cope ok with the panty liners…but the first time I found a chin hair I considered becoming a shut in! It does help to know that I am not alone in my hairiness. Love your blog.

      January 31st, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    26. Antique Mommy says:

      Big Mama, they don’t tell you about the chin hairs because we would all kill ourselves at age 37. And that would destroy the tweezer industry.

      January 31st, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    27. SG says:

      Greatness… but I’m just 10 years over 27 and experience all these things. Scary!

      January 31st, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    28. Kim (MercyDays) says:

      Ah, the ol’ chin hair tweezing! I was perched high above the crowd at the Texas State Fair about 10 years ago with my best friend in the world. We were approaching our late 20’s and had the most precious bond through sharing pregnancies and births of our 1st & 2nd children. There atop that mighty wheel was where our friendship truly took on a new level of intimacy. I informed her that she had a small problem that I could fix rather quickly with my handy dandy tweezers and she informed me that she had never..plucked..anything..in her whole life! What a moment!!! I yanked that sucker out (my husband calls them curb-feelers) and she screamed this blood curdling scream and it was done. She was grateful and was a changed woman from that day forward!

      January 31st, 2007 at 2:55 pm

    29. Antique Mommy says:

      With friends like you, who needs tweezers? 🙂

      January 31st, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    30. chris says:

      Then: slinky panties
      Now: cotton, industrial-sized lycra-laden items of underwear

      Then: park my sporty car and enter a business establishment
      Now: manouver my minivan thru any drive-thru possible (bank, restaurant, drycleaners,etc)

      January 31st, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    31. Antique Mommy says:

      Whoa there Chris! If you’ve got panties in your makeup bag, you’ve got more important issues than tweezers! :0

      January 31st, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    32. Barb @ A Chelsea Morning says:

      I can absolutely certify that every single one of these are true, the mini pad being the truest of them all!

      January 31st, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    33. Shayne says:

      Ya know…I asked my 14 year old daughter the other day to make sure that when I pass on to please make sure my chin hairs were plucked.

      I thought it was a valid request, but nooooo…just cause I asked it in front of a couple of her friends she goes all postal on me. Sheesh.

      January 31st, 2007 at 3:36 pm

    34. chris says:

      Oops…in my speed-reading of Blogs I neglected to read your title of “Make-up Bag”. I just thought you were throwing together a miscellaneous list of ‘then and nows’.

      Sheesh.

      And yes by the way I do carry a pair of panties in my make-up bag.

      You mean you don’t?

      January 31st, 2007 at 3:47 pm

    35. Sarah's in the Midst of It says:

      The sad thing is that I needed that minipad after having my first, when I was only 25. Sigh.

      Oh, and Skittles are definitely a better option than Altoids!

      January 31st, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    36. Sarah says:

      Lol, this made me giggle, thanks 😀

      January 31st, 2007 at 5:10 pm

    37. Magi says:

      It’s so funny because it’s so true.

      January 31st, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    38. Linds says:

      True! True! Gee thanks… I had forgotten what I used to carry around back then. Sigh.

      January 31st, 2007 at 5:52 pm

    39. Lena says:

      Oh hell. This is as depressing as it is funny. Which is to say, VERY.

      January 31st, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    40. Mommy Dearest says:

      I want to know how old we have to be before we stop having the zits? Why do we have to age in every other way but keep them?

      January 31st, 2007 at 9:23 pm

    41. txmommy says:

      you are too funny!

      January 31st, 2007 at 10:05 pm

    42. The Wooden Porch says:

      Good Lord Almighty, you (and all the rest of you who have commented above me) have completely freaked me out!

      I’m 27.

      February 1st, 2007 at 12:03 am

    43. Marian says:

      Ha! Thanks for the laugh. I wish I didn’t relate quite so much…

      “Don’t worry, honey, you’ll grow out of the zits.” They lied!!

      And besides sneeze-preparedness, you have to think about any jumping jacks that your 20-something exercise instructor might throw in to get that heart rate up(if you ever, you know, get frisky enough to go to an exercise class. Sweat does not usually appear in THAT particular pattern on the clothing, you know, so it doesn’t just go unnoticed. I would imagine.

      I hadn’t even noticed the transition from the ubiquitous breath mints to, in my case, M&M’s, but, yes, you are right! Yes, you just never knew back then when a handsome stranger was going to whisk you off your feet and plant one on you. There was a book of compiled “Cathy” cartoons with the title, “A mouthful of breath mints and no one to kiss.” I could so relate!

      February 1st, 2007 at 12:13 am

    44. jessica T. says:

      After reading this, I think I’ll go buy stock in mini-pads;) I have to wear a BIG pad when I jump on the trampoline with my kids.sigh.

      February 1st, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    45. qtpies7 says:

      Haha! I don’t carry a make-up bag, I didn’t know we were supposed to after we started having kids?!? I’m just happy if I leave the house with all my clothes on in the appropriate way, hehe. And if they don’t have baby barf, its a great day! Oh, and just always wear a pad, if you sneeze, its too late, hehe.

      February 1st, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    46. Peanut Butter's Mum says:

      Ohmigosh! This is PERFECT!! PERFECT!!! How true. And sad. And true. Thanks for making me giggle!

      February 1st, 2007 at 9:45 pm

    47. Kristin says:

      Then: Visine: from staying up all night partying/studying
      Now: Visine: from being up all night with teething baby and you have to be presentable at the peed/health clinic/OT/PT appointments

      Then: Appointment card to get hair dyed to be different.
      Now: Appointment card to get hair dyed to hide the grey.

      Then: Nice smelling hand cream
      Now: Extra strength Vaseline Intensive Care and an extra large bottle of Oil of Olay.

      February 2nd, 2007 at 12:52 am

    48. Sally says:

      First time commenting here-but I just couldn’t resist!! At age (almost) 45, everything you said here is true!! My teenage and pre-teen daughters say they are never going to have chin hairs. I can only laugh at that because I didn’t have them at their ages either!! I used to say when I was their age that I was never going to color my hair….

      February 2nd, 2007 at 8:30 am

    49. colicmommy says:

      Wait. Wait. Why did I start getting stray chin hairs at age SIXTEEN??? Oh boy. I’m doomed when I’m in my 40s, aren’t I? Maybe I can supplement my retirement income by being a bearded lady at the circus.

      And, um… I’m 28. 2 kids. Minipad is already required.

      Also, pepcid AC. Because once you start the heartburn while pregnant, you just never can stop a good thing!

      February 2nd, 2007 at 9:39 am

    50. Paula says:

      OH this is too funny! LOVED the “in case I sneeze.” LOL!!!

      February 3rd, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    51. Susan Joyce says:

      I linked to your blog for the first time. I read your description of “Antique Mommy” and both I and my husband laughted so hard. What a wonderful sense of humor you have. A laugh is always good medicine. Thank you.

      February 4th, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    52. Overwhelmed! says:

      Too funny!

      February 5th, 2007 at 9:36 am

    53. Shayne says:

      I once knew a lady who braided hers. Chin hairs I mean. She was an interesting character.

      February 5th, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    54. Carola says:

      “A Mini-pad (in case I sneeze)”…you made me laught so hard with this one…and I wasn’t wearing a mini-pad…”damage!” (I am posting this comments late, so I already read about the new curse word)

      February 6th, 2007 at 8:08 am

    55. Barbie says:

      Wow chin hairs I have them and I am only 27. I haven’t had to use the minpads yet after two kids though I am expecting to need them sooner than later. I already have to tie my boobs in a knot and throw them over my shoulder just walk to where I need to go. Can’t wait for my butt to drop too then I can ba the saggybaggy bearded lady covered in spit up from my baby boy and some horrible stickiness that seems to permiate from my four year old. i love this site.

      February 9th, 2007 at 9:14 am

    56. Chrystal says:

      Hilarious!!!

      February 9th, 2007 at 2:06 pm

    Leave a comment