Antique Embarrassment, Mildly Amusing

Make Up Bag, Then and Now

If you are under the age of 27, you probably don’t want this information. Go on then and enjoy your firm skin and lip gloss and live life ignorantly blissful for another 20 years. And when you see me tweezing my chin in the car, just look the other way.

Then: 1987
Now: 2007

Then: Lip Gloss (sparkly strawberry)
Now: Lipstick (age-defying, non-bleeding, matte-finish)

Then: Concealer for zits
Now: Concealer for zits and dark circles

Then: Mini-pad (in case I start)
Now: Mini-pad (in case I sneeze)

Then: Eyelash curler
Now: Tweezers

Then: Hair spray
Now: Ponytail holder

Then: Spare contact lens
Now: Magnifying glass

Then: Altoids
Now: Skittles

56 thoughts on “Make Up Bag, Then and Now

  1. “A mini pad in case I sneeze” – hilarious. You could have added cough or laugh. To quote the Rolling Stones: “What a drag it is getting old.”

  2. Oh. . .the mini pad. . .ROFL. Maybe I need to keep one near my computer for when I read your posts. . .I thought it was a bit unfair that I had to wear “feminine protection” the ENTIRE 9 months I was pregnant with the boy since the girl had done all sorts of damage to my urethra which hours of kegels cannot fix.

  3. Cracking up here too. Y’day my daughter found my mini-pad in my purse. Had to explain to an 8 year old about bladder control and sneezing.

  4. With three sons and no daughters I see I’m going to have to hire someone to tweeze the extra long hairs from my chin when I go into the “home”. Does it illustrate my point when I say that my father is half Russian/half German and I blame that portion of my lineage for the black chin hairs.

  5. See… this is where I messed up in the first place. A make-up bag? That’s what I should have had all along? Hmmm. That explains a lot about my lack of fashion sense. I thought those little bags were for pencils.

    And the mini-pad comment was brilliant… you had me chuckling, thereby earning “the look” from the boss-man. I’m sure he worries about my sanity quite often – as he should.

  6. Cracking up here! Too funny … and sad that is actually soooo true for all of us aging women! Thanks for keeping it light so we can laugh about it!! 🙂

  7. Oh my…lanta! I thought I was the only one that wore mini pads for that purpose! Sigh…You just have to love being a mom – such a special club!

  8. Hilarious! And I really wish I understood why I have to fight pesky zits at the same time I’m covering up dark circles and plucking chin hairs.

  9. You and all your readers must have a better sense of humor than I do. I am ok replacing mints with candy or in my case tums, and I can cope ok with the panty liners…but the first time I found a chin hair I considered becoming a shut in! It does help to know that I am not alone in my hairiness. Love your blog.

  10. You and all your readers must have a better sense of humor than I do. I am ok replacing mints with candy or in my case tums, and I can cope ok with the panty liners…but the first time I found a chin hair I considered becoming a shut in! It does help to know that I am not alone in my hairiness. Love your blog.

  11. Ah, the ol’ chin hair tweezing! I was perched high above the crowd at the Texas State Fair about 10 years ago with my best friend in the world. We were approaching our late 20’s and had the most precious bond through sharing pregnancies and births of our 1st & 2nd children. There atop that mighty wheel was where our friendship truly took on a new level of intimacy. I informed her that she had a small problem that I could fix rather quickly with my handy dandy tweezers and she informed me that she had never..plucked..anything..in her whole life! What a moment!!! I yanked that sucker out (my husband calls them curb-feelers) and she screamed this blood curdling scream and it was done. She was grateful and was a changed woman from that day forward!

  12. Then: slinky panties
    Now: cotton, industrial-sized lycra-laden items of underwear

    Then: park my sporty car and enter a business establishment
    Now: manouver my minivan thru any drive-thru possible (bank, restaurant, drycleaners,etc)

  13. Ya know…I asked my 14 year old daughter the other day to make sure that when I pass on to please make sure my chin hairs were plucked.

    I thought it was a valid request, but nooooo…just cause I asked it in front of a couple of her friends she goes all postal on me. Sheesh.

  14. Oops…in my speed-reading of Blogs I neglected to read your title of “Make-up Bag”. I just thought you were throwing together a miscellaneous list of ‘then and nows’.

    Sheesh.

    And yes by the way I do carry a pair of panties in my make-up bag.

    You mean you don’t?

  15. Ha! Thanks for the laugh. I wish I didn’t relate quite so much…

    “Don’t worry, honey, you’ll grow out of the zits.” They lied!!

    And besides sneeze-preparedness, you have to think about any jumping jacks that your 20-something exercise instructor might throw in to get that heart rate up(if you ever, you know, get frisky enough to go to an exercise class. Sweat does not usually appear in THAT particular pattern on the clothing, you know, so it doesn’t just go unnoticed. I would imagine.

    I hadn’t even noticed the transition from the ubiquitous breath mints to, in my case, M&M’s, but, yes, you are right! Yes, you just never knew back then when a handsome stranger was going to whisk you off your feet and plant one on you. There was a book of compiled “Cathy” cartoons with the title, “A mouthful of breath mints and no one to kiss.” I could so relate!

  16. After reading this, I think I’ll go buy stock in mini-pads;) I have to wear a BIG pad when I jump on the trampoline with my kids.sigh.

  17. Haha! I don’t carry a make-up bag, I didn’t know we were supposed to after we started having kids?!? I’m just happy if I leave the house with all my clothes on in the appropriate way, hehe. And if they don’t have baby barf, its a great day! Oh, and just always wear a pad, if you sneeze, its too late, hehe.

  18. Then: Visine: from staying up all night partying/studying
    Now: Visine: from being up all night with teething baby and you have to be presentable at the peed/health clinic/OT/PT appointments

    Then: Appointment card to get hair dyed to be different.
    Now: Appointment card to get hair dyed to hide the grey.

    Then: Nice smelling hand cream
    Now: Extra strength Vaseline Intensive Care and an extra large bottle of Oil of Olay.

  19. First time commenting here-but I just couldn’t resist!! At age (almost) 45, everything you said here is true!! My teenage and pre-teen daughters say they are never going to have chin hairs. I can only laugh at that because I didn’t have them at their ages either!! I used to say when I was their age that I was never going to color my hair….

  20. Wait. Wait. Why did I start getting stray chin hairs at age SIXTEEN??? Oh boy. I’m doomed when I’m in my 40s, aren’t I? Maybe I can supplement my retirement income by being a bearded lady at the circus.

    And, um… I’m 28. 2 kids. Minipad is already required.

    Also, pepcid AC. Because once you start the heartburn while pregnant, you just never can stop a good thing!

  21. I linked to your blog for the first time. I read your description of “Antique Mommy” and both I and my husband laughted so hard. What a wonderful sense of humor you have. A laugh is always good medicine. Thank you.

  22. “A Mini-pad (in case I sneeze)”…you made me laught so hard with this one…and I wasn’t wearing a mini-pad…”damage!” (I am posting this comments late, so I already read about the new curse word)

  23. Wow chin hairs I have them and I am only 27. I haven’t had to use the minpads yet after two kids though I am expecting to need them sooner than later. I already have to tie my boobs in a knot and throw them over my shoulder just walk to where I need to go. Can’t wait for my butt to drop too then I can ba the saggybaggy bearded lady covered in spit up from my baby boy and some horrible stickiness that seems to permiate from my four year old. i love this site.

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