Makes Me Sigh, Mildly Amusing

Rock Star Demands

I don’t have to ask Sean what he’s going to be when he grows up. I already know – a rock star. Not because he’s some sort of musical genius, but because he already has the “rock star demands” part down:

– All beverages must be presented in Builder Bob cups.
– Three specific bath towels must be available – the orange one (that has holes and is frayed), the lavender one that’s 20 years old and a brown one. (I know. That’s a lot of towels for someone who only weighs 28 pounds. But what can I do, I’m his roadie/groupie.)
– Will only wear socks with the orange band.
– No human hands are to have touched his gummy bear vitamin – must get his own out of the jar (which of course he can not open.)
– Never, under any circumstances, shall there be a green bean on his plate. And it would be better if there were none in the room or on the planet.
– Knows how to trash a room.
– Can get women to do just about anything he wants.

Unfortunately, with his DNA, he’s scheduled to be nearly bald by the time he’s 23 and everyone knows that you can’t be a rock star without a good head of hair. Luckily there are a lot of career options for a nearly bald working class kid.

23 thoughts on “Rock Star Demands

  1. as usual, love it

    and give poor sean a break about the socks (we picky sock people just know how we like our feet to feel) 🙂

  2. So funny! We’ve even got The Boy musical instruments, so I’m afraid maybe I’m encouraging my little rock star a little too much.. hmmmm…

  3. I submit for your review of bald rock stars:
    Michael Stipe of REM
    Moby,
    Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins
    and even Phil Collins was a rock star when he was with Genesis!
    Sting is not at all bald, but his hairline does recede considerably, so it’s seem like eventually he’ll either be a bald rock star or have to give up his rock star status and just be a bald rich guy.

    On the other hand, maybe that’s not what your hoping for so you could always encourage him to become a bald tennis star (lots of towels in that profession too!)

  4. I’m married to a guy with more hair than Rapunzel and neither my father nor my FIL are bald, so I think my sons are “safe” in that regard. So…they’ve got the hair to be rock stars BUT! no one can sing.

    And I think that’s probably more important. And some people just look better bald than with hair. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.

  5. Oh, No! Not Sean’s beautiful hair! Oh, well, his face will make up for his bald pate. I read “wordgirl’s” post about father and f-i-l not being bald. Baldness is inherited from your mother’s side of the family. Do you have any bald brothers or maternal uncles? (This is the one thing women can get even with the men of the world)

  6. So funny! What demands! Mine is just a tad too little to have demands, except for the “juice” tinted water…of course he believes it is juice. If he only knew what nondiluted juice REALLY was…

  7. [didn’t mean to leave 2 comments but I forgot something] Oh yeah, and basketballs. All clothing must have a basketball, and all new toys must be a basketball, and….

  8. I think we should arrange the marriage of your son with my daughter so that they can meet eachother’s demands later in life.

    Delaney not only dictates what her routine will be but also dictates how ours should be, including what spot on our cups our mouths should be placed for drinking (opposite of the handle).

    My husband is always reminding her “Hey you, YOU are the KID. WE are the Bosses around here. You are not the Boss, small fry”…..

    Jamie

  9. I think there may still be hope for Sean’s rock-star-dom. Chris Daughtery of American Idol fame is bring back the bald rocker look!

  10. Ya’ll seem to have missed the fact that the child is clearly destined to be a country star… Buy that boy a cowboy hat and hand him a mic! 🙂

  11. Or – just saying – he could wrap a bandanna around his balding head. Many rock stars get a lot of mileage out of this fashion accessory.

  12. Bald is so hot right now. No worries for that boy of yours. With your wit and his obvious charm, he’ll have the world eating out of his hand for decades.

  13. It’s called a rider. Just wait till he starts demanding 1500 thread count sheets and bowls of m&m’s w/the brown one’s picked out (yes, this is a real request). There’s website you can look these up on, but I’m too lazy (tired) to find the URL right now. (But we could all start a mommy blog about our toddler’s “riders” and blow that other website out of the water!)

    Also, my (very expensive) hairdresser is bald. I pointed out to him the first time I saw him that it was an odd career choice, considering. He informed me it was male pattern baldness or a fashion statement. He went for the FS. So when the hair starts going take Sean to get his first tat and head shave…he’ll be the coolest guy in school. 😉

  14. This is so funny! I love it, and you know, there are some very sexy bald men in the entertainment business now days. Chris Daughtry was the first to come to mind, but I also wanted to point out that guy who plays Lex Luthor on Smallville! Enjoy your little guy!

    ~TaunaLen

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