Mildly Amusing, Use Your Words


Last week I needed to use my flashlight and of course the batteries were dead. Of course. Maybe you store your batteries in the fridge, some people do. I store my batteries in the flashlight until they die a dark and lonely death with no one beside them to urge them to “Go to the light! Go to the light!” That way I can always find a dead battery if I need one.

Aside: I don’t think I’ve ever a) been able to locate my flashlight when I really needed it and b) consequently found it “not-dead”. The flashlight is like the armadillo – for the most part, useless, and you never come across one that’s not deader than a doornail.


Sean asked me what I was doing as he watched me working to replace the batteries.

“Well, the batteries ran out,” I said, “So I’m putting in some new ones.”

His eyes grew wide with concern. “They ran out?” he asked sounding slightly alarmed as he peered into the empty cannister.


“Where did they go?”

I stopped to laugh at the mental image of a pair of C-cell batteries with skinny legs running away to freedom, hand in hand.

That boy, he makes me stop what I’m doing and laugh at least once a day — and that recharges my batteries.

22 thoughts on “Batteries

  1. Funny kid – and they do indeed recharge our batteries. BTW, I highly recommended a flashlight someplace in the house that a) has rechargeable batteries, and b) lives in its own always plugged in recharger. We have one mounted just inside the door to the cellar, at the top of the cellar stairs – so it’s always ready and always in a known place.

  2. My daughter, Jessica, just asks David Riley (5) where a flashlight is–it’s guaranteed he’ll know. It’s also guaranteed, that DR will have worn out the batteries, so while he gets the flashlight, Jessica goes in search of batteries. (He’s even been known to use up the rechargeable flashlight, AND not plug it in again!)

    We’ve made it a regular Christmas gift to give them batteries in all sizes! 🙂

  3. Isn’t that the truth?! They wear ya out and keep ya goin’ at the same time. They make ya old and keep ya young all at once. Enjoy that little one this Easter. They grow up way too fast.

  4. It’s a ggod thing that you didn’t say, “The batteries are dead.”

    Try a designated drawer for batteries with plenty of fresh ones in appropriate sizes. Our drawer is in the utility room.

    We have plenty of AA batteries now, because Duracell and Wal-Mart offer 20 free 4×6 photographic prints with each package of 20 batteries. They also offer 10 prints with a package of 10 batteries. But why be cheap?

    Small Maglight on the ring with car keys. AAA battery. Fits nicely and works well.

    Actually we have about five regular Maglites with AA batteries. One on each nightstand, one in a bathrobe pocket, one in a basket in the office and one somewhere else in the house.

    Give the Moose a hug for us and a muffin for him.

  5. LOL that’s adorable 😀 And I have the same problem with flashlights, can never find a working one when I need it lol.

  6. The flashlights in my house have legs too. They all like to run up the stairs and hide under an unnamed little 3 year old boys bed. That is their choice place to die their sacrificial deaths. They also like to do this in pairs (at least) so I guess the good news is at least their not alone.

  7. One of the loveliest things about logical conversations with children is their “literal-ness”. Reminds us of how bizarre the English language really is.

  8. You gotta love it! My kids always loved Amelia Bedelia books when they were little- she is a little girl who takes everything literally.
    Sounds to me like you have your own little boy version of Amelia!

  9. The biggest laugh I got from my kids taking something I said very literally was when I asked my then 2 year old, who had been cutting teeth, to come closer so I could see if he had gotten any new bottom teeth. He clamped onto his cheeks (NOT the ones on his face!) and exclaimed in horror “BOTTOM TEETH!?!?!?!???!!! I’ve often tried to imagine the thoughts that went through his little head in the 10 minutes it took me to stop laughing long enough to be able to explain what I meant. His about to be 12 now and we still give him a hard time about it.

  10. I have a sister that used to live in Miami. When my DS was little…..My mother asked him if he had talked to his Aunt in Miami…..he proceeded to tell his grandmother that it was NOT her “ami” ….It belonged to his mother because I always said….”Miami”……….it was so hard to explain to a 3 year old!!!
    Our flashlights and batteries also run hand in had around our house….joined by the scissors, calculators and every decent ink pen that makes its way in the door.

  11. I will neve again look at a dead (or live) flashlight without think of Sean’s wide-eyed, “Where did they go?”. Racing off on skinny little legs, indeed! Too wonderful!

  12. Even worse than a flashlight with dead batteries is a flashlight with a slowly dying battery. The light just grows weaker and weaker, smaller and smaller, more and more useless, like death itself.

  13. Who needs batteries when you’ve got your son lighting the way with his comic relief? Good thing they’re cute AND funny or we all might be tempted to give up on this motherhood thing!

  14. Funny. When I tried to explain once how budgets work to my oldest (now getting her business grad degree), when I told her that when the money is gone, then you can’t spend.

    Well, she said, just go to the bank and get some more.

    Sometimes they are way smarter than we realize.

  15. When my kids were little and had battery-operated toys that made loud annoying noises, it was always a sad day when the batteries ran out. Because the batteries were dead now (I would shrug) and so the toy couldn’t make noise. They were nearly 6 before some stupid–that is well-meaning friend taught them that batteries can be replaced. 😉

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