Recent Posts

  • © Antique Mommy 2005-2017
  • All rights reserved.
  • Shortly After 8:30am, They Lived Happily Ever After

    May 10, 2007

    7am. – Coffee
    Pour first cup of coffee. Bump cup on edge of counter. Favorite cup breaks and splashes moderately hot coffee down the front of the cabinets and all over my feet. Do the walking on hot coals dance. Clean up mess.

    7:30 – Eggs
    Remove egg from carton to crack into pan. Drop egg on my foot en route. Hobble over to the sink to wipe yolk from between toes leaving a trail of egg slime from stove to sink. Clean up mess.

    7:40 – Toast
    Toast pops up. Reach for butter tub. Knock brand new tub of butter off counter. Splat. Falls open side down – of course – and not just on the floor, but again, on my foot. Hobble over to the sink and wipe butter from between toes. Take note that this is third time I’ve had my foot in the kitchen sink this morning. A new record. Put mostly clean glop of butter back in tub when no one is looking. Clean up mess. Spread questionable butter on cold toast to serve to my child.

    7:50 – Call Sean to table to eat toast and eggs. Bump plate on the edge of the table launching scrambled eggs into centerpiece and pile of yesterday’s mail. Pick eggs off the table and put back on plate. Clean up visible mess.

    8:10 – Get Dressed
    Attempt to improve attitude with tube of mascara. Drop mascara brush down front of white shirt. Watch in amazement as mascara wand rolls off the vanity and – you guessed it – onto my foot. And then onto the rug. Consider kicking mascara wand across the bathroom until I see image of interested 3-year-old in mirror behind me. Make a better bad choice and mutter “damage” under my breath. Wipe mascara from between my toes. Remove rug and shirt to the laundry to join other collateral damage of the morning.

    8:30 – Plan Day
    Ask Sean what fun thing he’d like to do today. “The funnest thing I can think of is to play with you Mommy,” he says. Heart pops out of my chest and lands in a big sloppy mess at my feet where I splash around in it like Gene Kelly.


    1. Jeana says:

      Better to have your foot in the sink than in your mouth, where mine usually is.

      I mean…mine is usually in my mouth, not yours. That would be a bit awkward.

      See? It’s amazing how effortlessly I can do it.

      May 10th, 2007 at 10:48 pm

    2. military mommy says:

      Wow you’ve got some clean feet today! 🙂 At least one of them anyway.

      I love how you put the questionable butter on Sean’s toast. Been there, done it, now giggling about it.

      May 10th, 2007 at 10:50 pm

    3. Marian says:

      Well, at least you are quite washable and you did not also have to clean a SHOE, as I seem to remember you’ve done before… Thank goodness your Cole Haans were spared the grease and mascara stains! Sounds like the rest of the day was much, much better.

      May 10th, 2007 at 10:55 pm

    4. joythruChrist says:

      So I notice the scrambled didn’t hit the foot…

      I wonder what does that mean?

      May 10th, 2007 at 10:55 pm

    5. jean says:

      I love the way you write. It comes out perfectly!

      May 10th, 2007 at 11:19 pm

    6. Antique Mommy says:

      I didn’t actually intend to scramble the eggs, it was just one a series of ridiculous events. I swear some days you just wake up under a cloud that is intent on following you around and casting a shadow of humiliation upon you.

      May 10th, 2007 at 11:21 pm

    7. Melissa says:

      …And this is exactly why I try not to do anything at all before 830am when I can help it. The earlier in the day the clumsier I am.
      You crack me up!

      May 10th, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    8. Antique Mommy says:

      I think I’ve decided that Sean is either Eddie Haskell Jr. or a sincerely sweet sweet little boy with a tender heart. Either way it works on his mama who is stupid crazy about him.

      May 10th, 2007 at 11:27 pm

    9. Kathryn in NZ says:

      oh heavens, what a morning! May your weekend now be clumsy free.
      Love your blog, btw. Your writing style is great. 🙂

      May 10th, 2007 at 11:36 pm

    10. Joo says:

      That was painfully funny. What a little sweetheart is Sean!

      May 11th, 2007 at 12:54 am

    11. Becca says:

      Too funny. I woke up early the other morning, sat down to read your blog and couldn’t figure out where I was! I need some advance notice of big changes!

      May 11th, 2007 at 6:46 am

    12. Jamie says:

      This is hilarious and sounds like some days around here! Doesn’t it just seem that if one thing goes wrong then they all go wrong.


      May 11th, 2007 at 7:40 am

    13. Big Mama says:

      This is why I don’t make breakfast or put on makeup before 9 a.m. It’s a recipe for disaster and lots of foot washing.

      May 11th, 2007 at 8:28 am

    14. maggie says:

      Some days you should be allowed to just go back to bed.

      May 11th, 2007 at 8:59 am

    15. mcewen says:

      It’s simple – your feet are magnetic today.
      Have a great weekend.

      May 11th, 2007 at 10:02 am

    16. Angela says:

      So, you could easily make the point, a bare foot in the sink is better than a Cole Haan sandal in the toilet, don’t you think?

      “a better bad choice” made me laugh, I do that daily!

      I vote that Sean is sincerely sweet and tender hearted. There’s something about little boys…

      May 11th, 2007 at 10:06 am

    17. Tracey/RealEstateGirl says:

      awww…doesn’t his sweet little comment just make the whole day better?!

      Look at it this way, at least you can postpone your next pedicure, seeing as how you’ve already “treated” your feet today!

      Hope you have a wonderful rest of the day!

      May 11th, 2007 at 10:28 am

    18. Elizabeth says:

      Wow! What a morning! I’m glad there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

      May 11th, 2007 at 10:36 am

    19. Shalee says:

      Well, at least the ending turned out perfectly…

      (And that butter is NOT questionable. Just make sure that you get all the little particles off and no one will know -says she who has a busted Shedd’s Spread container sitting on a plate in her fridge…)

      I vote that you go to IHOP tomorrow… and Sunday too since it’s your big day!

      (And I’m pretty sure that Sean is a sincerely sweet sweet little boy with a tender heart. He gets it from his momma.)

      May 11th, 2007 at 10:38 am

    20. Jill says:

      What a morning! But at least you can laugh about it… and let the rest of us laugh with you!

      Now I want eggs…

      May 11th, 2007 at 10:49 am

    21. Kara says:

      Wow what a morning! At least the eggs didn’t land on your feet right? lol

      May 11th, 2007 at 11:09 am

    22. Erin says:

      I seem to have had the rest of your morning. I didn’t drop anything off my foot, but I did have a quart of white paint roll off our garbage can (one of those big rolly ones) and land on the floor with a big splat. Paint everywhere. And I didn’t even say “Damage”.

      May 11th, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    23. Beck says:

      That last line!
      And as for the rest, welcome to every day of my life.

      May 11th, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    24. Aunt MurryAunt Murry says:

      Is it the same foot that went into the..well you know?

      May 11th, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    25. Carrie says:

      HILARIOUS! 🙂 At least your bad morning made the rest of us laugh until we cried! 🙂 Hope the rest of your day went better!

      May 11th, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    26. Linda says:

      It is so funny that those things happened to you today. I believe I am getting clumsier as I age. When I went to get gas for my husband – who was preparing to mow the lawn – I sloshed gas all over the little container and (you guessed it) my foot – and shoe. My hands still smell like gas – even after numerous washings. And I didn’t even have a sweet little boy to make the day better!!

      May 11th, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    27. Clare says:

      I have many mornings like this!

      May 11th, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    28. kacey says:

      You must have the cleanest feet in town! If these random acts of clumsyness keep up, you had best hot foot it to the doctor. Sometimes there are reasons for this sort of thing. (The nurse in me is suspicious of everything) I love it that Sean think that you are the funnest way to spend a day. You can tell from the giggles in your “You Tube”.

      May 11th, 2007 at 9:41 pm

    29. ChaCha says:

      awww thats beautiful! Hope you have a great mommas day on sunday!

      May 11th, 2007 at 11:46 pm

    30. Lucy says:

      That was too funny! Don’t we all have mornings like that? Although, I don’t think I’ve ever had to wash my feet three times in one morning. 🙂 But that’s because I wear shoes and don’t bother to clean them. 🙂 You have an incredible gift with words!

      May 12th, 2007 at 12:54 am

    31. Twisted Cinderella says:

      I am so glad I found your blog. You had me giggling my way through this and then my heart swelled with his response.

      May 12th, 2007 at 7:06 am

    32. Wendy says:

      When I need a LOL moment – I can always count on you to make my morning brighter! And the funniest thing: I have those days at least once a week except instead of my foot, everything ends up in the dog’s food bowl or water bowl (try cleaning dog water off a salt shaker & wondering if the dog wonders why her water tastes like it came from the ocean!) Sean’s comments must make you melt all the time!

      May 12th, 2007 at 8:14 am

    33. wordgirl says:

      I just know your Mother’s Day is going to be awesome…what with a little boy who still thinks you’re more wonderful than Big Bird.

      May 12th, 2007 at 12:23 pm

    34. Gretchen Hanna says:

      What a cutie you have! Sorry about the morning, though. Haven’t we all just wanted to crawl back into bed some days?! Happy Mother’s Day to you. I really enjoy your blog.

      May 12th, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    35. Rivkeleh says:

      Happy Mother’s Day, Antiquemommy!

      May 12th, 2007 at 9:27 pm

    36. ms. mcfearsome says:

      Happy Mother’s Day, Antique Mommy!

      May 12th, 2007 at 11:59 pm

    37. Sue says:

      Just stopping by to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day!

      May 13th, 2007 at 9:39 am

    38. Clare says:

      Happy Mothers Day!

      You’ve been tagged. Come over…

      May 13th, 2007 at 10:42 am

    39. Anjali says:

      Love it!

      May 13th, 2007 at 1:39 pm

    40. Stacey says:

      I’m so sorry… I hate those kinds of mornings!! Hope it got better as it went on 🙂

      May 13th, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    41. laughing mommy says:

      Thanks for a great laugh!

      May 13th, 2007 at 9:12 pm

    42. Becca says:

      Well hello, hope you had a wonderful Mother’s day. Just wanted to let you know that I tagged you on my blog.

      May 13th, 2007 at 10:30 pm

    43. onemotherslove says:

      Cute… Happy Mother’s Day!

      May 13th, 2007 at 11:29 pm

    44. simply me says:

      Happy Belated Mothers Day. I have passed Sean’s video on and have gotten many thanks for making their day. I have to admit that his little laugh have stuck with me and I often find myself smiling at the oddest moments. Thank you.
      I am sure that many of us can relate to such a morning, yet you bring it to us in a refreshing manner.
      Better days ahead……

      May 14th, 2007 at 7:10 am

    45. Damselfly says:

      You must have some very fine-looking feet. And be very fun to play with!

      Sweet! 🙂

      May 14th, 2007 at 2:43 pm

    46. Other blogs says:

      Sleepover for Thursday, May 17

      Filed under: Blogs , Sleepover Last week I went to Texas to join my large extended family in celebrating

      May 17th, 2007 at 8:28 pm

    47. the mad momma says:

      and i thought i was the only clumsy mother in town! i hope my son thinks i am fun too!

      May 24th, 2007 at 6:45 am

    Leave a comment