Sean has never been much of an eater, but when he was around 18-months old eating stopped almost entirely. Somedays we are lucky to get five calories in him. We try not to worry about it because watching us nervously wring our hands at the dinner table has not increased his appetite. Wise people say when he’s hungry he will eat. Wise people are wrong.
In an effort to encourage eating, we tell Sean that if he hopes to grow up to be big, he’s going to need to eat something — specifically something not made of orange dust or coco/fruity/frosty/gummy/happy stuff – something with protein to build bones and muscle, something like meat.
Apparently he has been giving this concept some consideration because the other day we had this conversation:
“Mommy, I’m going to start eating MEAT like you so I can be big – like you!”
“You eat MEAT all the time and you are willy willy big (holding hands out in front of him in a big circle.”
“That’s fabul ….. hey, I’m not that big.”
“You eat sooooo much MEAT! You eat hamboogas and pork chops and ham and wunch meat and woast beefs and chicken and hamboogas and…. (pauses to think up other varieties of meat) you are big Big BIG!”
“Look dude, I’m not that big. Okay? According to the insurance charts, I’m average.”
“Oh no mommy – you are SO big (again with the hands in the big circle) because you just eat meatmeatmeat all the time.”
“You are big MEAT-eating BIG!” (making a circle from front to back like a hula hoop).
“Go away before I eat you.”