Faith, Mildly Amusing

Faith And Desperation Look Remarkably Similar

Today was one of those days when I just couldn’t seem to create any forward motion. I had plans to get things done, to get dressed, to brush my teeth, to move about in a productive manner.  But alas, it was nearly time for lunch and I had accomplished nothing more than a brisk 30-minute walk on the treadmill.  And I only got that done because I parked my child in front of the television.

And that is about the time the doorbell rang.

So, I jumped off the treadmill and hastily pulled on a tank top over my sweaty jog bra and my 1980s paint-splattered jogging shorts, the one with the L-shaped rip on the leg.  And then I zipped down the stairs in a cloud of perspiration to greet the Publishing Clearing House team.

But it was not Ed McMahon.  It was a gal from church.  Wearing a stylish pale blue matching shorts set. And probably deodorant.

With no other option at my disposal, I decided to rise above it in a Kathryn Hepburn sort of way and just pretend that I did not smell like last night’s Long John Silvers or have sweaty wet hair sticking to my neck or my tank top on inside out. And with my spine straight and my neck stretched tall, I opened the door and greeted her. 

To her credit, she came in when I invited her and didn’t even wrinkle her nose.  I had agreed to help out with Vacation Bible School and she was dropping off the lesson material, as she said she would. About that time, Sean ran past wearing nothing but a pajama top.

Yet she handed me the lesson material anyway and is entrusting me to instruct small children in the ways of the Lord. 

I’m not sure if that represents her degree of faith in what God can do with someone like me or her degree of desperation for VBS teachers.

28 thoughts on “Faith And Desperation Look Remarkably Similar

  1. I can so relate to this!!

    I’ve stopped measuring the days by how much I “accomplish” and simply being grateful that I’ve managed to keep everyone alive for another day….sometimes, that is enough.

  2. We live in the parsonage and I’m afraid that has happened to me more times than I’m willing to admit. The worst time was when it was a deacon and I had a towel on my head. At 10:30am. Yikes.

  3. Seeing that I am directing our VBS this year, I would have to say it is quite possibly desperation. Although, I’m sure you will do a great job.

  4. And you see, she walked away feeling like a slacker after seeing you all glistening from working out while simultaneously potty training your child, but all she’d managed to do was put on her matching shorts outfit and drive to your house! It’s all in the perspective. Man, I wanna be in your VBS class… I bet it’ll be the funnest one.

  5. Having recently finished a volunteering stint at our VBS, I can tell you, volunteers are a precious commodity. The sweetest moment for me was when one of the little boys in my group asked if I would be back next year and if I could be his leader. Up to that point I didn’t think I was doing such a hot job.

  6. I bet she would have handed those VBS plans over to you if you had come to the door swiggin’ a beer. Well, maybe not if it was before noon. 😉 See you soon!

  7. LOL!! HAving rounded up VBS teachers myself in the past, someone would have to do something way worse than that for me to turn down a willing volunteer!

    Mary, mom to many

  8. The memories of vacation bible school and the women who taught it stir up warm feelings of nostalgia within me. The vision of my mother and her friends reenacting the loaves and fishes for a group of third graders makes me grin, tear- up and praise God for their sweetness.

    The drama of one of them breaking a loaf of bread and with a heavy west Texas accent reading the coordinating scripture. The others coming out with baskets filled with tuna fish sandwiches, grapes and Welch’s grape juice to show a group of little kids a story about Jesus.

    Those little third graders are all now approaching 50. I am in contact with many of them. I am sure Sean and his friends will be forever effected by your faith, dedication and love as all of us were long ago by the women who taught VBS.

  9. LOL too funny, you are living the perfect life, don’t even feel bad about that. At least you had on clothes when she came! And just think she wont even recognize you at V.B.S.!
    Good for you for modeling a great stay at home mom.

  10. OH the horror of someone stopping by unannounced! You handled it with grace- and I’m sure you’ll be a hoot at VBS!!!

  11. She was probably secretly impressed with your sweat. Anytime I see someone in work out clothes my opinion of them elevates. That’s why I never seem to take mine off!

    And my kids are in their PJs…or worse…boxers until afternoon somedays. It’s called summer wardrobe.

  12. We are in the middle of crazy VBS days ourselves. Two weeks in a row, it will be, at two different churches. Why do people give my responsibility? Why?

  13. At least you were wearing a sports bra!

    I’m afraid the FedEx man has seen me sans support — that’s what he gets for coming to my house at 8a.m.!!!

  14. LOL. My former boss once “had to” drop off some things at my house the same day I was expecting the Mary Kay lady to come and give me a makeover. I greeted my former boss wearing nothing but a semi-clean t-shirt, shorts and bags under my eyes. The good news is I think I left him with the impression that being a SAHM is tougher than you think.

    BTW — “About that time, Sean ran past wearing nothing but a pajama top.” Potty training, by any chance? We do the same thing here.

  15. Heh. I’ve met people at the door looking, as my grandmother used to say, “like the wreck of the Hesperus” more times than I like to think.

  16. ROFLMAO
    Both of you showed grace and class, while Sean just showed a cute butt (yes, butt is ok to say in NZ).
    You will be a fab teacher cos the Lord is with you.

  17. It’s funny because it’s true. For all of us. That is what makes stories like this so perfect–we have all experienced something similar. Thanks for writing it so perfectly!

  18. Funny….There’s nothing like the adrenaline rush of “MUST DRESS NOW – SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR!!” I’ve fallen down on the tile running around like a twelve year old all in the name of an ebay delivery. You never know who might show up at your door :o)

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