Antique Crazy

Wherein I Talk Back To The Shampoo And Other Products

Leave on for three minutes. Yeah, right. I’ve got a three-year-old standing outside my shower.

Lather, rinse and repeat.  Um, 3-year-old?  I’ll be doing good to rinse once.

Apply nightly.  So what if it’s 8am. I promise you my skin does not know the difference between day cream and night cream.

Apply over clean dry skin. One outta two is not bad.

Apply Top Coat over color.   Sorry. Top Coat not within reach. Base coat will do. I live on the edge.  I take chances like that.

Open This End. Must. Open Other end. Cannot. Stop. Self. (wrestling one hand with the other)

Use a dime size drop. I’m an American!  If a dime is good, four quarters is better!

Use only as directed. Haaaaa! That would mean I had read the directions.

17 thoughts on “Wherein I Talk Back To The Shampoo And Other Products

  1. I like “Wash Separately”. Yeah, like I am going to do seventy loads of wash. It goes in with everything else.

  2. I can’t say I’ve ever conversed with my beauty products, such as they are. I have, however, heckled public figures from the comfort of my TV room couch.

  3. And for another thing – the directions are usually in print so small I couldn’t buy reading glasses that strong to read them!!

  4. Love it! You forgot “apply to towel-dried hair, leave in for 3 minutes, rinse and style” Expecting waaaay too much. It’s a good day if I wash and style at all.

  5. When my twins were little, I had to put them in the dry bathtub with their books and toys just to be able to put a little mascara on my invisible eye lashes and dry my hair before it turned into a Webster Duster. On really good days, I added eye liner!

  6. just like those hair-coloring kits, “test color on a piece of your hair 24 hours before coloring” — but then the box says you can’t save the coloring solution once mixed for over 12 hours — do you think I’m going to buy 2 separate boxes –one for testing and one for the ‘real’ coloring! You’re kidding, right?

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