Recent Posts

  • © Antique Mommy 2005-2017
  • All rights reserved.
  • Wherein I Talk Back To The Shampoo And Other Products

    July 24, 2007

    Leave on for three minutes. Yeah, right. I’ve got a three-year-old standing outside my shower.

    Lather, rinse and repeat.  Um, 3-year-old?  I’ll be doing good to rinse once.

    Apply nightly.  So what if it’s 8am. I promise you my skin does not know the difference between day cream and night cream.

    Apply over clean dry skin. One outta two is not bad.

    Apply Top Coat over color.   Sorry. Top Coat not within reach. Base coat will do. I live on the edge.  I take chances like that.

    Open This End. Must. Open Other end. Cannot. Stop. Self. (wrestling one hand with the other)

    Use a dime size drop. I’m an American!  If a dime is good, four quarters is better!

    Use only as directed. Haaaaa! That would mean I had read the directions.


    1. Tracy says:

      I’m a mother of twin 5yr olds….so I can RELATE ohhh so well!!! Love the blog….makes me giggle!!!

      July 24th, 2007 at 10:17 am

    2. Laura says:

      How funny! I thought I was the only one who talked to themselves out loud.

      July 24th, 2007 at 10:53 am

    3. Stephanie says:

      Rules – pschtt!
      My youngest is 8 and I am JUST NOW able to apply the Top Coat.

      July 24th, 2007 at 10:56 am

    4. Andrea says:

      It’s good to know I’m not the only one that talks to the directions labels!

      July 24th, 2007 at 11:24 am

    5. kelli says:

      Preach it, sister.

      July 24th, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    6. JanB says:

      I like “Wash Separately”. Yeah, like I am going to do seventy loads of wash. It goes in with everything else.

      July 24th, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    7. Beck says:

      When I start talking to my shampoo, it generally means that I could use a little nap.

      July 24th, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    8. Sara says:

      I just laughed so hard, I think I peed a little bit. I love your blog.

      July 24th, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    9. Leah says:

      My mom says that as long as you don’t answer yourself, your not crazy!
      I’m crazy!

      July 24th, 2007 at 4:00 pm

    10. Just Mom says:

      I can’t say I’ve ever conversed with my beauty products, such as they are. I have, however, heckled public figures from the comfort of my TV room couch.

      July 24th, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    11. Kris says:

      Hilarious post!

      July 24th, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    12. Linda says:

      And for another thing – the directions are usually in print so small I couldn’t buy reading glasses that strong to read them!!

      July 24th, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    13. Mommy 24/7 says:

      Love it! You forgot “apply to towel-dried hair, leave in for 3 minutes, rinse and style” Expecting waaaay too much. It’s a good day if I wash and style at all.

      July 24th, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    14. Sandi says:

      When my twins were little, I had to put them in the dry bathtub with their books and toys just to be able to put a little mascara on my invisible eye lashes and dry my hair before it turned into a Webster Duster. On really good days, I added eye liner!

      July 26th, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    15. Dianne says:

      LOL!! Gee, my hair highlighting thoughts fit right in –

      “Do a preliminary strand test before you begin” – yeah, whatever. Those are for the nervous and cautious types, not a crazy, bold woman with more hair than brains! (excerpted from

      Thanks, AM, I always enjoy a great laugh over here! 😀

      July 27th, 2007 at 10:56 am

    16. Sue says:

      just like those hair-coloring kits, “test color on a piece of your hair 24 hours before coloring” — but then the box says you can’t save the coloring solution once mixed for over 12 hours — do you think I’m going to buy 2 separate boxes –one for testing and one for the ‘real’ coloring! You’re kidding, right?

      July 29th, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    17. Seabird says:

      Ha! Especially the last one!

      August 3rd, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Leave a comment