Always Real

Sugar And Spice Woulda Been Nice

I didn’t want a boy.  I wanted a girl.

It never even occurred to me that I would not have a girl.  I love girl stuff.  I love Barbies, I love dress-up, I love sugar and spice and everything nice. I love pink!  I am a girl.  I know about girls, I would know how to mother a girl.  But a boy?

What would I do with a boy?  A boy!  A boy that would bang his little cars on my coffee table, a boy with a jelly face and grimy hands, a boy who would bring me worms and bugs.  And the noise! Oh, the noise, it would be like living in Walter Middy’s head.  No thanks!

I put in my request for a girl early.  I picked out her name.  And then I waited.  And I dreamed of a pink chintz Laura Ashley nursery and ballet lessons.

And I got a boy.

Yet more evidence that God knows what he is doing. And has a sense of humor.

Just in case you don’t already know, I am delighted beyond what mere words can express with my little boy.  I love love love being the mama of a boy, this boy.

But when I go clothes shopping for my little boy and there are 25 racks of adorable little girl things for every one rack of picked over little boy t-shirts and denim shorts — it is then that I get a touch of little girl envy.

I sometimes even go up and down the racks and pull out little dresses and pet the ruffles and fluff the bows.  And I sigh.  And I think, wouldn’t it be nice?

27 thoughts on “Sugar And Spice Woulda Been Nice

  1. Ha ha! I wanted a girl, too. But not anymore!
    It does help that the Wog loves to look at the pink, frilly clothes with me. (We just don’t tell Dad about it!)

    If I am ever blessed with a second child, I want another boy!

  2. You sound just like me! Before I ever thought of having children, I always imagined that I would have a girl. When I was pregnant with my oldest, I dreamed of having a girl. The day of my ultrasound, I was surprisingly overjoyed at the news that my baby was a BOY! Baby number two was also a boy. Fast forward to 2001 and baby boy #3. My kids are now 19, 17 and 6. I am loving every minute of the elementary school years all over again and am looking forward to watching my youngest son play Little League next year. The only other females in this house are the cats! Take care. Lisa

  3. After 6 boys and 18 years, I finally got sugar and spice.
    Her name is Desiree, now 3.(And no, we didn’t keep trying till we got a girl.) However, in the midst of hoodies, jeans and t-shirts, non-chalant attitudes and listening to many Star-trek, Transformer and vehicle-related conversations, I forgot that *I* was indeed of the female species myself. The temperamental feelings, easily-wounded-ness, emotional manipulation tendencies…these seem to be exclusively girly qualites I had forgotten as I had outgrown them myself. I- who had played endlessly with dolls -have forgotten how, and am re-learning now out of necessity. I do like the PINK clothes, the long curls and someone who really, really wants to hang out with ME. OTOH, girls(or this girl anyways) seem to be higher -maintenance than boys.
    ~C

  4. there are cute boy clothes! sadly they are not in walmart and target! they are sitting happily in the high dollar stores! i know this because i have been dressing up a gaggle of nephews and a godson for years now. there are much cuter choices in fall, winter and spring than summer, that’s just the nature of the beast. it’s been to hot to put clothes and shoes on children here in the deep south this summer anyway!they’ve barely been let outside! certainly 105 with a heat index of 112 has been to hot for aunt cathy! i’ve read the entire harry potter series again, and i’ve read the new book three times since it got so hot! we’re in the midst of a cold snap, it’s in the low 90’s! of the humidity is back in force, so to walk out the door is to drown. but AM, the big news is that it has rained three days in a row! whoo hoo! at least i think that’s what that wet stuff that’s falling out of the sky is. it’s been so long i don’t really remember! back to where this all started, that that bottomless credit card to a chilren’s speciality shop, i promise you will find adorable boy clothes there! best you do it now, ‘sean ain’t gettin’ no younger!’

  5. I always pictured myself having boys, since I have 6 nephews and only one niece. I guess I thought boys ran in our family and that was fine with me. But somehow we ended up with 2 girls-surprised me each time. But I would have been happy with either boys or girls. (Our cat is a boy, does that count as having a son?? Especially since our girls refer to him as their “brother”??)

  6. I thought I wanted a boy – after all, I grew up with girls, and remembered what horrid, sneaky, manipulative things they could be; if a BOY doesn’t like you, he just throws a rock or something. Plus, I’ve never been a girly-girl and don’t understand them.

    But now I’ve got a little bitty girly-girl and love her to pieces! And now I’m grateful I haven’t had to address issues such as standing-peeing, squirty diaper changes or circumcision. I think we end up just loving any child we have, boy or girl!

  7. I have a girl and a boy. I didn’t wish for one or the other and didnt find out what they were until they were born. Psst…boys are more fun. 🙂

    I love them both dearly…

  8. When I was pregnant with twins my husband was really worried they would be girls because my niece was evil. They were boys and we were happy. I miscarried a girl, and later I got another boy. I love my guys but those pink outfits call out sometimes. Sigh.

  9. My first is a boy and I, too, had no idea what I would do with a boy. And he is ALL boy. I was blessed with a little girl 5 years later. And she is ALL girl. It is so funny to have 2 such opposite creatures living in my house. The funny thing is, most days they get along just great and really do love each other. They can usually find some common ground to play together. A lesson for us all.

  10. I am blessed to be surrounded by nothing but girly girlness, and if given the chance to have another child I would probably prefer another girl…..Unless I KNEW I could have a little boy JUST LIKE SEAN – then it’s a no-brainer.

  11. I am just the opposite…I always wanted a boy. My first child was a boy. When my niece was little, she would ask me about things with my son and I would always tell her about things that were different with boys and girls. She expected everything at our house to be just like they were at hers! She often asked me about how my son’s hair was done and what kind of ribbons and barrettes we used. Usually, I would say, “We don’t use thse things because I don’t know how to do girl hair.”

    When my second child was born, a girl, my niece was interested but very concerned. When she visited us in the hospital, I asked her how what she thought about the baby. With a very serious look on her face, she said “Aunt Rachel, what are you going to do with a girl. You can’t even do girl hair!”

  12. I have boy/girl twins. I love them both dearly, and at this point in our lives (they’re 34), my daughter is my best friend. But growing up she was a handful, while my son was always loving. When I was sick, Joe would bring me a blanket and make me tea, Jenni would wait until I got better so I could do things for her! Both are wonderful to have, but there is something very special about a boy and his mom. Enjoy every second.

  13. I too love having boys and actually never imagined myself with anything else. HOWEVER, I still enjoy looking at the little girl clothes. That is what is great about having nieces. I can get that little girl shopping “fix” every now and then, but I do not have to deal with the drama on a daily basis.

  14. I had a little girl, than 4 years later a little boy. I dreamed of Barbies and dresses and french braids. Well…my daughter is disgusted by Barbies, is not a fan of dresses (will wear certain ones on occasion), HATES pink with a passion, and while she loves having long curly blonde hair she refuses braids of any sort. She prefers listening to music, reading, writing, playing with art supplies, her Nintendo DS, swimming, soccer, etc.

    My point is, even if you had had a girl it doesn’t mean you would have had a daughter in pink ruffles who wanted to play tea party and dolls.

    My son on the other hand fits the boy stereotype to a “t”. Trucks, tractors, trains, he’s obsessed with machines. Loves dirt, bugs, etc.

    Both of my kids are as sweet as can be, neither have had attitude problems or caused me much grief. But, we haven’t hit the hormone years yet either. 😉

    Boy, girl,…it’s all good. It’s all GREAT.

  15. You get what you need. Aw, yeah.

    I have 2 boys and a girl. They are different and the same. But they are all wonderful. I hate the gender generalizations of “boys are more fun” or “girls are whinier or higher maintenance.” Hate it. My oldest son is the HIGHEST maintenance child and most sensitive. My daughter is the most mellow, hysterical rambunctious child I’ve ever met. I will admit that buying her clothes is WAY more fun, but really? Do you really want to dress your older son in cutesy clothes? No, you want him to look like a boy, not a fru fru. I’ve found that once the boys hit the 2T sizes, the few cutesy clothes that WERE available were too wimpy looking. I have an Easter picture of the two of them in matching yellow and blue sweater vests to prove it. Never again, my boys… never again!

  16. When I was pregnant with my third child, I prayed for a girl. I had another boy! But now that I have friends with adolescent girls, I say “thank you, lord, for not answering my prayers!!” I also had a miscarriage, (boy) and a foster son. When my dear friend was pregnant, she promised me a goddaughter. She had a boy. I am surrounded!

  17. I wanted a girly girl. I always thought of boys as being rather wild and rambunctious, into playing out in the mud – like my brother growing up. My son turned out quiet and hates getting his hands dirty. I love him more than anything :).

  18. ha ha, I wanted a boy and I got a girl. My friends who have both tell me that of course they love both dearly, but with the boy there is something special, sort of like having a little boyfriend who you fall in love for life. Plus, girls are more attached with their daddies. At least mine is. An I’m scared of her being a teenager…I think us girls are meaner than boys…we’ll see what happens when the time comes.

  19. I never wanted a girl. I knew I would be a mom to boys. I have 2 younger brothers, no sisters. Even though I am a girl, and I love girl things, I never really longed for that. I guess I didn’t want to share the female spotlight. Too much drama with girls. I don’t know what I’d do with one. I have 2 boys. Of course, the Lord could still surprise me with a girl, and I would be grateful. But I’m okay with my clan just the way it is.

    And I have to agree. The choice in boys clothing is pathetic.

  20. I knew I would have boys. It was something I had no doubt of. And boys they are!! But for the record…there are ballet shoes in my purse. They aren’t mine…I never cease being surprised. And pleased and proud.

  21. Cute!
    As a middle child with an older brother and younger sister, it just seemed natural to have both. And I do! I am finding the differences delightful.
    BTW, I am so used to your name “Antique Mommy” that I was surprised to see a different name next to the picture of you & Sean at DotMoms! I actually thought for a second that someone else had written the article! 🙂

  22. Hello antique mommy. Well, I just plain expected to have a daughter. I don’t know why. At my ultrasound I was struck dumb when they said it was likely to be a boy. And now I am SO GLAD that I have my wonderful boy. Thank goodness for him that he was a ‘him’ because I think I had preconceptions of what my little girl would be like and what we would do together and I had none for a boy. Very liberating for both of us and my husband is really enjoying the boyness around our house. Little boys (and of course little girls too) are wonderful.

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