Antique Junk Drawer, Mildly Amusing

Uncleand Bob Is Inappropriately Funny

As I waited for Sean to finish his Party Burrito at Taco Bueno the other day, I picked up a newspaper that someone had left behind in our booth.  I never read the newspaper anymore, so it was kind of a treat.  The first page I came to was the obituaries and I scanned them out of morbid curiosity. There was a picture of a handsome man that caught my eye and so I read his obituary hoping to discover what had happened to him.  So I could then feel better about my own mortality. Somehow.…

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Makes Me Sigh

Elf

Yesterday I decided I would go through all of Sean’s baby stuff, pull out a few cherished things and then pawn off donate the rest to our church which has a program to distribute gently worn baby stuff to people who can use them. It was a monumental and difficult task but luckily I had the help of Antique Daddy who pulled every article of clothing out of the give away bag just as I put it in and wept loudly into it.  That really helped to move things along.  Additionally I had the help of Sean…

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Antique Crazy

Cheap Sunglasses, Oh Yeah

Ever since “the incident” with the sunglasses, I have not felt the same about them.  Since that day in infamy, any time I have put them on, I involuntarily shudder, unable to forget their dark and soggy sordid history.   I lost that loving feeling towards them and decided that I should probably go ahead and splurge on another pair of cheap sunglasses. So today, I found myself at RossDressForLess (you have to say it like that) and as luck would have it, I found a gen-u-wine pair of Ralph Lo-wren sunglasses for only $7.99!  And I even…

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Antique Junk Drawer

Halloween

Is it too early to start thinking about Halloween?  Apparently not according to retailers. But if you go by the retailers, I should probably be putting up my Christmas tree. Anyway, back to Halloween.  Halloween is not a big thing for me, I could take it or leave it frankly, but for several months now, Sean has been saying he wants to dress up as a pirate for Halloween.  So being the over-involved, over-engaged mother that I am, I have been looking at pirate costumes at said local retailers and oh my goodness! – $30! No way…

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Antique Junk Drawer

Taking A Long Lunch

Hello reader friends! I have a number of projects that require my attention this week, so I will be otherwise occupied and unable to entertain you with tales of run-ins with public toilets or chi chi sandals that conspire against me.  I am working on writing and illustrating a children’s book as well as writing another family memoir.  Not to mention I need to workout. Badly. Now that Sean is in school a few days a week and getting a bit more independent, I want to take advantage of that of free time and get back into my…

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Always Real

The Up Side To Diapers

Yesterday, we spent the day at a local amusement park. Now that Sean is fully potty trained, I no longer have to lug around diapers and always be on the lookout for a place to change him. And all that is good. However. Yesterday I took Sean to go pee at the park and since it was a public restroom I gave him the “don’t touch anything” lecture. I removed my sunglasses from my head and tucked them into the collar of my shirt by one earpiece and then I held him up to do his…

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Reruns and Leftovers

The Neat Freak Gene

When Sean was first born, some people wondered if I was really his mother. He looked nothing like me. When his 85-year-old great aunt first laid eyes on him in the NICU she declared that she could have picked him out as Antique Daddy’s boy out of 1,000 babies. And she was right. They were both bald and had prominent chins. These days the boy looks more like me – uncooperative hair and usually wearing food. No matter whom he currently resembles, the quirky things he does that his quirky antique parents both do, makes him…

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Always Real

Painted Lady

One morning last week, as Sean and I were sharing a piece of cinnamon toast for breakfast, he stops eating and looks hard into my face.   “You look pretty this morning Mommy,” he says matter-of-factly. “Really?” I ask.  My spirits buoyed. “Yeah,” he adds.  “Thank you for putting paint on your face.” Mental note to self: Wear makeup more often.

Snips And Snails

At The Zoo

Yesterday I went to the zoo with my boyfriend. Sure I had to drive and I had to pay our way in and even buy lunch, but it was a wonderful date and I totally love him. The air was sweet and we strolled around hand-in-hand.  Occasionally he would stop to kiss my forearm and tell me that someday when he gets big he’s going to marry me.  Although it’s the first time I’ve ever had to help my date go pee pee. This week, my little boyfriend seems taller and more grown up and I have…

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