If I were going to vote off one of the months of the calendar it would be August. August is the doldrums of the calendar – a stretch of time when nothing exciting is happening, no special holidays, nothing to look forward to all month except for August being over. I think we should be like the Europeans and skip August all together and go to Monte Carlo. Who’s in?
And then in addition to the ugh that is August, a lot of little crud has turned into a big pile of crud which I plan to dig myself out of as soon as my three-year-old boyfriend returns to school THIS WEEK! Yes, of course I’ll be crying my eyes out all the way to Starbucks and then to Nordstroms and probably Dillards after that. I will be devastated to have all that free time to myself, oh yes I will. But I will cope, because I am strong. And it’s just bad form to weep into your double latte.
So I won’t bore you too much with all the woe is Antique Mommy stuff other than to say that before my computer died, I had a couple of weeks worth of posts written that are gone. Pfffft. Outta here. And at my age, you don’t remember that much. So I got nothing.
Oh wait, there is this — a little snippet from my ridiculous life that will make you feel better about your own walking skills:
One morning last week, Sean and I went to the open house at his school. As we made our way across the school parking lot towards the building, he started crying and clinging and climbing all over me like some sort of psychotic koala bear. He starts this every time we get within 100 yards of a school. He does not want to go to school. He wants to stay home and play with me all day which is all well and good, except that I don’t really like him that much. KIDDING! Sort of. No really, I have him in school because he needs to be out of my hair with other kids.
So I hoisted him up on my hip and continued towards the school but not before my sandal catches on the one section of pavement that is 1/1000th of an inch taller than the previous step. Yes, those sandals. And oh yes, I did one of those long-stride stumbling sequences that is just so very graceful, all while carrying a 40 pound koala bear on my head which does little to improve one’s balance. And I can’t even blame it on my iPod.
Of course this kind of move exactly conveys the kind poise and confidence that will no doubt make all the other mother’s who were also walking into the school that morning clamor to be my friend and invite me out for coffee because really, where can you find that much cool all in one place?
Luckily, I did not fall. And I was really really grateful for that small blessing because if I had to go to the open house wearing a 40-pound koala on my head, at least I wasn’t all bloodied and scraped up. And see, that’s how you know it’s August becuase your idea of a blessing is not limping into the school open house wearing torn and blood stained capri’s and carrying your child on your head.