Always Real

The Up Side To Diapers

Yesterday, we spent the day at a local amusement park. Now that Sean is fully potty trained, I no longer have to lug around diapers and always be on the lookout for a place to change him. And all that is good.

However.

Yesterday I took Sean to go pee at the park and since it was a public restroom I gave him the “don’t touch anything” lecture. I removed my sunglasses from my head and tucked them into the collar of my shirt by one earpiece and then I held him up to do his thing. When I stepped back to put him down, his head bumped my glasses and you guessed it, they tumbled into the toilet. At which time the automatic toilet began to flush. We both stood there watching in amazement as my sunglasses swirled and whirled and crunched against the mighty force of the flushing toilet.

When all fell quiet in the stall all that stuck out of the water was the earpiece of my glasses. If not for the thought of spending $35 for a new pair of $5 sunglasses in the gift shop, I would have turned and walked away. I had no other option but to go to that big blank white space in my mind.  I reached in and quickly grabbed my glasses. And miraculously my $5 Wal-Mart sunglasses were no worse for the wear.

“Mom! Don’t do that again!” Sean admonished me. “You are not supposed to touch anything!”

This is where the “Do as I say, not as I do” speech would work.

And yes, then I stood at the sink for 30 minutes scrubbing my glasses and arms up to my elbows like a surgeon and then I drank a quart of Purell just for good measure.

Now. Let us never speak of this again.

55 thoughts on “The Up Side To Diapers

  1. Count your blessings, sister. At least your kid will pee in an AUTOFLUSH toilet. Seriously. My boys would scream “Is it autoflush?” everytime we walked into a public restroom. For years. I actually categorize restraunts by this — autoflush and the places we frequent.

    Sigh.

    And I’m very glad you got your glasses back.

  2. I’m so glad you’re not the only one who, one, wears cheap crap sunglasses and, two, would stick her hand in to retrieve them. You go!

    I’m afraid, I am with Llama Momma with regard to having children with autoflushphobia. So kudos to you on that, too.

  3. Autoflush works for us since if it is a “loud toilet” my girls wouldn’t flush it. But honey, if that ever happens again, you let me know and I’ll just SEND you a pair of $5 WalMart glasses, ok? I feel the need to go wash my hands now.

  4. I go through sunglasses so many times throughout a year I would’ve been right there with ya! Nothing a little bone-sucking-dry soap and water can’t clean…and God Bless Purell!

  5. I love this story! I especially love the “do as I say, not as I do” part! 🙂

    Years ago, I dropped my ID badge (at work) into the toilet as it swirled in flush mode. Talk about embarrassing when I had to tell both HR (so that I could get a new badge) AND the facilities guy (to prepare him for any possible “back-ups”)!

  6. Oh. My.

    If it makes you feel any better I LOST a pair of $250 Revo sunglasses (a courting gift from my hubby) basically the same way. I was devastated.

    $5 Walmart glasses for me are just fine. And no more tucking them in the blouse frong.

  7. Heh. I lost an earring in the airport bathroom on the way to Chicago. I thought about reaching in for it, but that blue stuff stains something awful, and everybody would have known that I had my hand in the toilet.

  8. I’m surprised you and your “neat freak gene” lived through that one!

    My daughter is freaked by the autoflush, too. I have to go in with her, hold my hand over the sensor, and not move until she is up and dressed. It’s quite the traumatic event.

  9. I would have been fishing out sunglasses too… and things like that happening for me is one of the reasons I DON’T buy expensive glasses!

  10. I’m with Cindy, let me know the next time this happens and I’ll spring for another pair of $5.00 sunglasses! I always stick mine on top of my head. Anyway, thanks for the really good laugh! You don’t know how badly I needed it today! I can just picture the two of you standing over that cammode watching those glasses twirl round and round!

  11. Oh, God, that hasn’t happened to me…yet. Now, you KNOW if those had been Ray-Ban’s they would have flushed, don’t you? The cheap $5-10 sunglasses never, EVER get lost and always hold up under the most extreme conditions – like young, plastic chewing children & hence your autoflush toilet. I have this discussion with my husband ALL the time. He buys expensive sunglasses and they’ve vanished or are crushed within a matter of …hours. And my cheap ones… still here! Thanks for the laugh today.

    As for the LOUD toilets? They’ve taken on a fear quotient of Monster proportions at our house!

  12. I hate public restrooms. I would never have reached into the toilet for some sunglasses. If I dropped something important in there like my keys, I still might leave them, my husband is a locksmith so I could get new ones easily. I think the only time I would get something out of a public toilet is if one of my kids accidentally fell in, but even that would be major trauma for me. I figure if something touches a public toilet it is history. I just have one question. Does your hubby know you reached into a public toilet? Your posts always make me laugh. I love reading them.

  13. I have feared this very same end for MY $5 glasses and have somehow managed to avoid dunking them in a public toilet. However, you have given me pause and reason to work out ahead of time my plan of action should they take the plunge.
    I resolve to let them mellow there in the public toilet for eternity rather than reach into the abyss.

  14. I promise not to speak of it, as long as I can giggle about it for the rest of my life. Because it hasn’t happened to me. Yet.
    We divide places into “loud toilet” and “quiet toilet” too.

  15. My grandson was TERRIFIED of auto-flush toilets, however, he would have been grabbing for the sunglasses!!! No amount of “DO NOT TOUCH” would have convinced him to leave a perfectly good pair of sunglasses spinning in the toilet! 😉

  16. Ewwwwww! You know what Erma Bombeck (I think it was her?) used to say? If you drop something in the bathroom it will always go into the toilet. Some kind of law.

  17. Hilarious…and as gross as I’m sure it was, that was much better than the SHOE in the toilet. . .and also much better than falling out of the bathroom stall with your swimsuit around your ankles.

    Maybe you should just avoid public restrooms altogether.

  18. It’s the mother reflex thing. The other day, my son dropped his beloved Wheel Pals car into the toilet. The toilet that the older sister had not flushed. After she pooped. Yes, I went in after the submerged vehicle. And then boiled the car and my left hand for two minutes.

    I just grossed myself out all over again.

  19. I think if I admitted to having a hand in a public toilet, my husband would never touch me again. Even the toilet in our own home would freak him out. Hence the reason I never told him the REAL reason why I threw his tooth brush away after elder son “dropped” it. I told him the cat licked it. That’s what he gets for not putting it away when he’s done.

  20. Seriously? Ick.
    I am trying to remember if I had to lift my boys to do their thing in public restrooms. I just don’t know. Maybe I did.
    Mine have always thought an automatic flusher was cool.

  21. Oh the memories of public restrooms and wiggly little boys. Not sure I could have done it. But I’m sure your $5 sunglasses are counting their blessings after being rescued from the eye of the whirlpool!

    ~TaunaLen

  22. Since those industrial-style toilets are forceful enough to flush down a fully grown sheep, I like to imagine that it could theoretically destroy all germs that might have been lurking on your sunglasses. Not likely, of course, but a girl has to dream. And now…I’m going to go wash my hands.

  23. Oh my! That has happened to me before too… but I couldn’t bring myself to fish them out LOL I miss those glasses. I just love this blog… thanks for sharing so much with us.

  24. Oh my goodness! You made me giggle! For the rest of my life, I will think of you and your swirling sunglasses every time I use a public restroom! Thanks for making me smile!

  25. Forgot to mention. My daughter is 4 now. She also used to cry when those automatic toilets flushed. I had to let her know ahead of time that the toilet was going to flush so she could cover her ears. Fun story to hear.. Thanks. Tiffany Nicole

  26. Okay, for $5 sunglasses I might have been tempted to just toss them. 🙂

    We’re in the midst of potty training right now. I can’t wait until it’s all over. Of course, since we’re trying to adopt another little one we’ll have to start all over with child #2 at some point. ((sigh)) One day it’ll all be good!

  27. LOL! I would have fished out the glasses also. I could totally picture that happening to me. I did drop my cell phone into the toilet at home once. (I was talking and cleaning the bathroom at the same time. Those little phones don’t stay on your shoulder very well!)

  28. Had I not been at an amusement park on a blindingly sunny day where it would have cost me $40 to replace my $5 glasses, I would have left them. Apparently my cheapness trumps my germophophia.

  29. All three of my sons, AND my foster boy, dropped matchbox/hotwheels cars into toilets. What IS that??? Every single time, I said “this is the LAST TIME!!” but the big eyes… The quivering chin… We have boiled a lot of matchbox cars.

  30. You mention drinking a gallon of Purell — here’s an empathetic moment: I was speaking with my friend’s three-year-old daughter and just as I started to say something she sneezed. HARD. Right in my mouth.

    A mouthful of Purell, followed by a handful of Altoids.

  31. I have fished a few things out of the loo when the consequences were dire. Not fun, especially when there is nothing antiseptic around to get clean with. But what happens if it’s your car keys? Money is not even an issue, and neither is hygiene!

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