One day, about 25 years ago, not too long after I had moved to Texas from the mid-west, I went to the grocery store to get a few necessities. I was about 22-years-old. I aspired to be dirt poor. To say that I was struggling would be an understatement.
Into my cart, I put the very few carefully chosen things I could afford – a small carton of milk, a loaf of day old bread, off-brand toothpaste and a small box of feminine products. I put my groceries onto the conveyer and watched the cashier ring up each item, making sure she hadn’t rung up anything for one penny more than it cost. I don’t remember what the total was. I do remember reaching into my purse for my checkbook and not finding it. And then realizing I had left it at home. I remember the sensation of disbelief and then panic wash down my spine like lighter fluid.
I began scrounging through my purse looking for enough money to cover my groceries, although I don’t know why. I was as likely to have a kangaroo in my purse as I was to have enough cash to pay for my groceries.
As I was frantically digging through my purse willing money to materialize, I felt the spark of life begin to flicker and wane. That little spark that I had been tenderly protecting for months, that spark that had burned just bright enough to beat back the loneliness and kept me convinced that I could make it in Texas, that little spark that was going to prove to all those people back home that they were wrong about me – that little spark was all but out.
It had been a hard, hard year and for some reason the missing checkbook seemed like a big bucket of water aimed right at my spark. I was trying so very hard to be a grown up and I was failing. I felt like crumpling into a heap onto the grocery store floor and crying my eyes out.
I looked at the cashier and tried to work up the nerve to tell her that I had no money, that I would have to come back for my stuff. She looked at me with her arms folded across her chest and her eyebrows raised expectantly, as though she had seen this before.
Then the lady in line behind me handed the cashier $10.
“It would bless me to do this small thing for you,” she said to me. “Please. Allow me. This money means nothing to me.”
She looked into my face for consent. Her expression was hopeful and happy. She nodded her head yes.
I sighed and hung my head in shame. And then I nodded agreement. I was grateful. I was embarrassed. If I had allowed my voice into my throat at that moment, I would have begun sobbing uncontrollably. With big fat tears threatening to spill, I simply smiled at her and mouthed the words thank you.
After I composed myself and collected my bag of groceries, I offered to mail her a check but she waved me off, telling me to keep my chin up and have a nice day.
Recently, when I was in the grocery store, that memory came flooding back. It was early in the day when the only shoppers in the store are the AARP mafia and a few other moms. I got the things I needed and then got in line behind a young gal. I watched her methodically put each item on the conveyer, carefully checking the price, doing math in her head.
After her purchases were rung up, she counted out her cash to the cashier. And then she looked at the total and counted it again. Something wasn’t right. And then she began rummaging through her purse. “Oh no,” she said, “I thought I had another $10 in my purse.” She kept rummaging while at the same time glancing back at her groceries to see what she could put back.
I recognized the look of panic on her face. I saw in her that her spark and her spirit had been tested. I reached into my purse and handed the cashier $10.
“Please,” I said, “It would bless me if you will allow me to do this for you.”
“Oh no,” she said, “I couldn’t.”
“Please,” I persisted. “I must.”
And it was true. It was as if I had no choice in the matter. I had to.
“Well thank you,” she said. “I don’t know what to say. It’s been really hard…” and then her voice trailed off.
“I understand,” I said. And I did understand.
She gathered up her bags and then turned and smiled at me. She thanked me again.
“Have a nice…” Then I stopped.
Have a nice day didn’t seem fitting.
”Have a nice life,” I said.
“I will,” she said, “You too.”
I am having a nice life. When you grow up to to be the lady in the grocery store who is lucky enough to get to pay it forward once in a while, that’s a nice life.
Linds says:
I have been in both those places before, and I really loved your post, AM. It is absolutely beautifully written, and a wonderful reminder to pay it forward.
November 12th, 2007 at 4:41 am
Carol says:
Love this! When I was a child, my dad used to pay for both his car and whatever car was behind him at the toll plaza when we’d drive across the Golden Gate Bridge. It always embarrassed my mom, but I thought it was sweet. That was long before there was a “name” for such behavior!
Carol
November 12th, 2007 at 4:45 am
Becky says:
Memories are long and lasting. I will forever remember the looks on those people’s faces when my van got a flat and I was blocking traffic on a small thru road. The SUVs and cars squeezing dangerously close to me, trying to get past. Dirty, disgusted, perturbed and angry looks with honking horns and wheels spinning gravel at me as I struggled with my tire iron. Then the look on the face of the older man in the run down sedan who stopped to help me. I had a screaming infant in the back who needed to be fed and I was on the brink of breaking down. All he said was, “You look like you could use some help here.” His smile was so warm and friendly, I forgot my usually hyper cautious nature and let him take over. I took a bottle from the diaper bag and sat on a rock to feed my baby and watch the man fix my tire. When he was done, he put the flat, jack and iron back in the van and waved at me as he headed for his car and left. I had my mouth open to thank him, offer him money, ask for his name, but the words caught in my throat and I wasn’t able to speak before he was gone.
I was so grateful, I cried all the way home. Then I called and signed up for AAA. I do learn from my mistakes. Now, every time I see someone stuck like I was, I yell from my window to see if they need help. I can’t change a tire worth a damn, but I sure as hell can call AAA. And if I see people drive by with dirty looks, I yell at them; “You’ve got a cell phone too, you jerk!” I am from NJ, after all.
I’d like to think I’d help someone out in the supermarket (or where ever) too. I do what ever I can, when I can. I wish everyone did. Imagine what a world this would be.
November 12th, 2007 at 5:48 am
Sue says:
Wow, I wish I could write half as well as you do. I have tears in my eyes AGAIN from one of your posts.
November 12th, 2007 at 6:28 am
Kathy says:
What a great post…..
Very touching….
Kathy
November 12th, 2007 at 6:51 am
Theresa says:
The WonderHusband and I had been married just a few years and were struggling financially. We had decided that I really need to be a SAH mom at least until the girls were in school full-time, so he was the only income. One of the older couples at church stopped by one day with a huge cooler full of frozen foods and $50. They wouldn’t let us pay them back, they told us to be on the look-out for someone else to help, and then we were to refuse repayment. It has started a beautiful circle of giving and receiving in our lives. Paying it forward is a principle that has profound effects on everyone it touches!
November 12th, 2007 at 7:41 am
Brigitte says:
We’re also sacrificing a lot so I can be a SAHM, and have been lucky to have many friends and acquaintances give us clothes, toys and gear for our daughter. When she outgrows or can no longer use things that were given to us, we try to pay it forward to other struggling families my husband meets through work. It’s tempting to sell the stuff for money, but it feels much better donating it!
November 12th, 2007 at 8:01 am
Llama momma says:
I so needed this reminder today. To be grateful for where I am, yes; but also to remember where I’ve been. And pay it forward…
November 12th, 2007 at 8:18 am
zoom says:
“Panic wash down my spine like lighter fluid” Wow— great choice of words.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:21 am
Elizabeth says:
“When you grow up to to be the lady in the grocery store who is lucky enough to get to pay it forward once in a while”–beautiful. Thanks for the wonderful story.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:23 am
~*~ Jennifer ~*~ says:
Ahhh… I’m crying.
Someone just did that to my little sister — and she was soooo very blessed!! Was it you?? Oh praise God for you and ladies like you that bless the poor, if not the poor in spirit!!
November 12th, 2007 at 8:27 am
becca says:
I’m feeling a bit under the weather so I’m extra cry-y this morning, but that was a beautiful memory. Thanks for sharing.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:31 am
Hanlie says:
I love your writing and your story! I’ve also been there and have received help from people and today I can help other people. Paying it forward is a principle I live by…
November 12th, 2007 at 9:01 am
pam says:
I have been on the receiving end and know deeply how that feels. I have been on the giving end and know how precious it is to be able to help.
This is a beautiful story, AM. Thanks so much for makin’ my nose all runny and my eyes all wet this early in the mornin’. You have blessed me and motivated me to watch for opportunities to bless another.
November 12th, 2007 at 9:03 am
Megan (FriedOkra) says:
*Squidge* I’ve been, no, I AM, both of those ladies, too. It is amazing how short the space between them has felt, to me. One moment I was young and just starting out, scared, hopeful, proud… the next minute I see my young self looking back from the face of a total stranger and realize it’s been 20 years. And more amazing still that somehow the young girl and co-exists inside me with the mature woman, and each have equal influence on how I live, the decisions I make, the way I feel about the world. I hope the young girl sticks around forever. She’s got a lot of heart. Sound like yours does, too.
November 12th, 2007 at 9:32 am
Big Mama says:
I love this. Great, great writing.
November 12th, 2007 at 9:33 am
Lyssa Ireland Thomas says:
You weave absolutely beautiful stories. Thank you.
November 12th, 2007 at 9:38 am
Joy, of course! says:
Sigh. This is really how life is supposed to work isn’t it. Giving and receiving grace in turn. Lovely.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Neighbor Jane Payne says:
Oh wow, what a beautiful story told in A.M.’s incredible way. You’re such a lovely writer.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:15 am
midlife mommy says:
What a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:24 am
stacey says:
those are such wonderful moments!
November 12th, 2007 at 10:32 am
patois says:
That woman from 25 years ago probably felt a bit of a warm glow when you handed that girl the $10. She probably couldn’t fathom why she got a warm glow, but she did.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:04 am
misti says:
You are such an articulate writer. What a fantastic story an to know that there are wonderful people out there in the midst of the awfulness.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:11 am
It’s Coming on Christmas · One Money Dummy Getting Smarter says:
[...] like to blame the fact that this post made me cry on breastfeeding hormones and a sleepless night, but in truth it’s Antique [...]
November 12th, 2007 at 11:12 am
Kelly @ Love Well says:
How sweet are God’s blessings.
Beautifully written, AM.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Jenny says:
That brings tears to my eyes. Someday she may get to be the woman in the grocery store who is able to pay it forward. Awesome!
November 12th, 2007 at 11:19 am
Lela says:
This has brought tears to my eyes. It is reminding me of all of the people who have helped save me in my life. And it is reminding me of the gratitude that I should have this day even though I woke up feeling like nursing some wounds. Why am I wasting my moments when I have so much to be thankful for? I’m thankful for the blogs that I read that prompt me to redirect my thinking.
November 12th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Sherry says:
Alright, I’m just going to call your blog the make-me-well-up-and-cry-blog.
Every time, gosh dangit!
thanks for the warm story
November 12th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Smart Spending says:
Karma in a Texas supermarket checkout line…
If you’re not yet in the mood for Thanksgiving, read Antique Mommy ‘s account of her down-and-nearly…
November 12th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Michelle says:
A beautiful tribute to the kindness bestowed on you by others..even long ago.
It is Canadian Remembrance Day today, and the post is very fitting. Thank you!
November 12th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Gail says:
Bless you for recognizing the right moment to return a beautiful favor! Twenty years ago, as a single mom, I decided to move to another state. Meager would describe my savings at the time, but nothing was going to stop me. Dear friends gave me $100 as a parting gift. I had the opportunity to return the favor not too long ago when a young friend decided to take the same chance and move out of state on her own. I gave the same response to her shocked reaction: “when you get a chance, you can return the favor to someone else.” I think I felt more blessed to be the giver, than I did being on the receiving end all those years ago. Great life lesson! Thanks for sharing your story, and for this little reminder.
November 12th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Fresh Girl says:
This brought tears to my eyes because I know what it’s like to be on either end of a gift like that. It can be so hard to accept help, especially monetary, from someone, and I think we forget that allowing someone to do that for us is likely to just bless their socks right off! And hopefully spark that person to turn around and do just as you did all these years later. Maybe someday that young lady will be able to do what you did.
November 12th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Margaret says:
I’m typing with tears streaming down my face. I’ve just discovered parenting blogs last week, and I’m absolutely addicted to yours! I can’t wait till I can check every day for a new post. (I’m also working my way through the archives). I love that some days I nearly pee my pants from laughing and others I’m reaching for the Kleenex.
Your story reminds me of a story a former co-worker told one morning. The night before she was at the grocery store and a young couple were ahead of her in the check-out line. They were cute and well dressed and had a weeks worth of groceries rung up, about $120. When they swipped their bank card it came up insufficient funds; they were mortified. My colleague stood behind them feeling sorry for them and herself because it was going to be forever before the cashier voided the whole order. So she offered to pay the whole lot, and said they could pay her back. They accepted her generous offer on the condition she take the girls’ watch as collateral. They swapped addresses and said they would pay her back the next day. My friend went on her way feeling very good about herself. They next morning, however, as she told me the story, she was starting to wonder if maybe she had been a little too generous. I asked to see the watch. It was a $600 Movado. I told her “they’ll be back”, and sure enough they paid her back.
November 12th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Allyson says:
Thanks for sharing this. I’m happy that compassion and giving are still valuable assets to possess these days! There’s such an aire of entitlement amonst the younger generations, it’s discouraging sometimes. Thank you for being an example of decency and kindness!
November 12th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Antique Mommy says:
Margaret, that is a great story. Thanks for sharing it.
November 12th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
JCK says:
It is very difficult to be in the place of that young woman in line – young or old. It must have filled your heart with incredible lightness to do this thing. When you help someone, and really get to see the help – it is a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing that. I just love Random Acts of Kindness stories!
November 12th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Laura says:
Oh my, I have no words but wanted to say your story really touched me.
November 12th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Paulette1958 says:
I am not an emotional person, you do make me emotional in your beautiful writings, I just want to tell you how special you are and how you bless me each time I come here. If you ever need a night out and a sitter for sean please call me! I would love to bless you. I live close. We could meet first lol.
November 12th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Stephanie says:
That was beautiful! Isn’t it wonderful to see the hand of Christ at work? =)
November 12th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Beth says:
AM,
You do it to me every time! I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes. Random Acts of Kindness are so wonderful because they renew faith in people to both parties involved. This last weekend I was sitting in my car at a stop light when it stalled and wouldn’t start. I had help, because I have motorclub, but it made me feel so good that several people stopped and asked if I needed help. It made me not mind so much the ones who felt the need to honk and get angry because I caused a little delay in their day! I’m sure the ones that stopped had all been in that same spot and knew how I felt. I always try to pay it forward whenever I can, sometimes I think it does me more good than it does the other person!
November 12th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Jake's a Girl says:
Antique Mommy ~ That was beautiful. Funny how we get more in giving than receiving. I bet the feeling you got in paying it forward out weighed the feeling of all those years ago when you were on the receiving end. I believe that the Lord saw that day in the future and knew who He could send to reach out that hand to help when needed. He sent you.
Perfect words…Have a nice life. What more could be wished for?
November 12th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Kara Andrus says:
That’s wonderful
I love when people help each other
November 12th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Cheryl says:
“When you grow up to to be the lady in the grocery store who is lucky enough to get to pay it forward once in a while, that’s a nice life.” I am that lady now…but I remember quite vividly what it was like to be the young, single mother struggling to make it each month. Your post was lovely, and a wonderful reminder that the tiniest act of kindness can make a huge difference.
November 12th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Shalee says:
AM, it is for this and so many more reasons that I love you. Really deep down in my heart love you. Your worth is greater than rubies.
THIS is a perfect post.
November 12th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Blog Antagonist says:
You know…if more people would extend simple kindnesses like that to one another, the world would be a better place. Thank you. You’ve just help jolt me out of one of my “people suck” moods.
November 12th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
jean says:
Don’t you love being “that lady”? I do. I look for those opportunities to do the right thing, to pay it forward. I’ve had complete strangers help me out and I’ve smiled each and every time I’ve gotten to take their place. It feels so good to be there for someone who needs a helping hand. Sometimes it is money, sometimes a few gallons of gas, sometimes shoveling snow… it just feels good.
November 12th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Teah says:
Thank you for that. You almost made a fairly new mommy cry.
November 12th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Kathy/ Lessons from the Laundry says:
Excellent reminder that the smallest events can affect a life. I look for opportunities to pay it forward and am always amazed at how it feels that I’ve been the one blessed.
November 12th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
chickadee says:
i love that. i love that you got the chance to do it for someone else.
November 12th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Helen says:
Tears in my eyes reading this. You sound like such a nice person. How lovely to get the chance to repay your debt. Life does work like that. What’s that word again? Oh yes, karma. Good feeling in my heart after reading your posting.
November 12th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Elaine says:
Love this. Sounds like you could expand it into a great short story if you wanted to. I’m just sayin…
November 12th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Kvetch says:
You made me cry. And I never cry. Hey!!!! How fortunate you are to have been able to “repay” her so many years later. I bet whoever and where ever she is, she had a very wonderful day and a good feeling she could not explain.
Hugs to you coming from your long-ago home in the midwest.
November 12th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Yodasmistress says:
I’m a little embarrassed to admit that made me tear up a bit.
November 12th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Happy Geek says:
I have been on the receiving end several times and it’s amazing how the spark flames up brighter after you’ve been given that unexpected blessing! Thank-you for reminding me of the blessings!
November 12th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Aunt Murry says:
Wow, again you provked a n emption in me that I thought I had forgotten. When I worked as a cashier at TG&Y I used to keep change in my apron for such emergencies.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Roxanne says:
Teary eyed here too. I’ve received AND given in such a way. It is a blessing going and coming. Thank you for sharing this. Loved your parting words to her.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
Twisted Cinderella says:
*sob* I remember being so down and out that I didn’t know where my next meal was going to come from. It was unexpected kindnesses like this one that meant everything to me. *sniff* thanks for sharing it with us.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Diana says:
Thank you for sharing that. By far, I think you have the best blog in last week’s competition. Your writing is inspiring and uplifting. You write with enough humor to keep me coming back, but without the cynicism of so many other blogs.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Jennifer says:
Great story. I hope I have the opportunity to help someone out sometime.
November 12th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Beck says:
Well, now I’m all teared up.
I went through YEARS of being rock poor and have experienced great kindness just like that. Now to remember to be kind in my own turn.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
wordgirl says:
The quiet example. Without fanfare or chest beating. This is true philanthropy. Are you hearing what I’m saying, Oprah?
November 12th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Nancy-The Unlikely Homesteader says:
Wonderful! What a blessing.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Rhen (yestheyareallmine) says:
Beautiful.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Jill says:
What a wonderful post. My parents went bankrupt when they were first married and were blessed by a few people who were really generous with them. Since then they have “paid it forward” to a few other young couples starting out who are struggling. It has been a great example for me to follow.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
Sincerely Anna says:
This brought tears to my eyes as I remembered being in a similar situation once at my college finance office. Money was so tight for my family but I thought my mom was able to transfer something into my account so I confidently wrote a check for $5 to be turned into cash for something I needed for a class. Turns out I didn’t have a single dollar in the account but the teller was so compassionate towards me that she gave me the $5 out of her own wallet. I’ll never forget her kindness.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:11 pm
jen says:
So promising and hopeful for us all. Your story has touched me.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Owlhaven says:
love it!!!
Mary
November 13th, 2007 at 12:57 am
jeanne a says:
My dad had Alzheimer’s. The last time he was left alone he went driving…….and was totally lost and trying to make a phone call……probably because he was nearly out of gas……and someone gave him $5 to buy gas….and somehow he got to my brother’s place of work. And my brother made sure he got home. (And he was never left home alone again.) This is the story as we could piece it together.
I thank God for that kind person. God Bless you wherever you are.
November 13th, 2007 at 1:00 am
Sue says:
So touching and wonderful. This was a good reminder. Thank you – bless you.
November 13th, 2007 at 2:59 am
Dana says:
Ah, it’s great to be a woman and have the capacity to truly feel others’ emotions and understand what they are going through. Thanks for a great story!
November 13th, 2007 at 9:36 am
CircusKelli says:
What a lovely, lovely story. Thank you so much for sharing it. I aspire to be the ‘pay it forward’ woman.
Susie of What Was I Thinking recently had a post that mentioned “Living Gratitude”… I’m working on that.
November 13th, 2007 at 10:09 am
WeevilMaw says:
Oh, you made me get all teary eyed again. I’ve been in both spots too, and it is nice to pay it forward. It really puts things in perspective and gives me a peace. I’m counting my blessings everyday and feeling blessed to be able to do so.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:19 am
Colleen says:
You always touch my heart, or my funny bone. Thank you for being a blessing to my life through your writing.
November 13th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Angela says:
My two year old is patting my back and saying, “s’okay mom,s’okay, I riiiight here” because I just read your post with her on my lap.
So. Beautiful.
“panic wash down my spine like lighter fluid.” I have FELT that.
I want to be the lady in the grocery store…
November 13th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Angeline says:
Its the heart that causes action…not everyone could do that.
Many people whom I met forgets that they were “lifted off their worries” by a stranger, a passerby…before.
Now when they see others in same plight, they turn a deaf ear, a closed heart…
Well done, antique mommy!
November 13th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Susan says:
There’s nothing in life that makes me happier than doing for others like that. I like to think that I am doing it for them, but honestly, the way it makes ME feel is (selfishly) why I do it.
November 13th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Beth_C says:
This post brought tears to my eyes. What a nice thing you did for that girl. I hope if I am in a similar postion, I will remember to pay it forward!
November 13th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
killlashandra says:
Wow, what a wonderful post. I can relate now and by no means 22 anymore. I carefully write out a list and then put the estimated cost of everything next to it so I don’t go over. Hitting rock bottom is incredibly hard, like many have tears in my eyes when I read this. It’s too to remember to pay it forward. Thanks for sharing.
November 13th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
FeeFiFoto says:
What a wonderful story. Make sure you tell it to your son at least once a year — our kids need to hear stories like that.
A couple years ago I was at Goodwill looking for some clothes for my son’s 3rd grade class Halloween party. I stood in line at the checkout with armloads of stuff, waiting for the lady in front of me to pay so I could pay and get out. She had four items that totaled about ten dollars, including a blouse that cost $2.50, which she thought she might not take because it was too expensive. I debated and debated just as she debated, and once she decided to pass on it I offered to pay for it. I think I got as much pleasure out of seeing her surprise, as she did wearing the blouse.
November 13th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Lisa says:
An absolutely timely reminder of what is good & important in this lifetime.
Thank you.
November 13th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Roxanne says:
One more thing. . .we’ve had lots of friends share clothing with our kids, and we when are done with it, we pass it on as well. I always tell the kids that there are others who need it. We’ve been talking lately about a house we plan on building soon, and the other night my 6 year old said, “Mommy, when we move to our new house, maybe we can put a sign on our old one that says, ‘For the Poor’ so someone who needs it can use it.” I’m not sure we’re THAT generous, but I’m glad the seed has been planted.
November 13th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Kacey says:
You just proved the spirit behind “Magnificent Obsession” by Lloyd C. Douglas. God will bless you the same way he blessed the lady who helped you. You are a terrific young woman AM!
November 13th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Tammy and Parker says:
I can’t begin to express the emotions that this post touched in me.
We had always been the family who could help out others. We always had enough for our own needs and would rather perish at the thought of not paying a bill or telling our kids ‘no’ when they wanted dance classes or to sign up for another year of football.
Then our youngest son was born. Now this son is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing but a blessing and is cherished, loved and wanted.
But he is also a very expensive kid medically. Bank account draining.
Suddenly we find ourselves being on the receiving end. Actually knowing that we couldn’t make it financially without the help and support of others.
We are the ones who just skip grocery shopping altogether some months to make sure we have funds for medications that our insurance won’t pay for.
The overwhelming feeling not only of love, but of hope. Yup, hope that swells in our hearts when others share of their means in Parker’s behalf is such that I think you would have to be in the situation to truly be able to understand it.
Our family still tries to pay it forward when we can. Usually in little ways like the lawn of a widow in our neighborhood that they take care of.
We can’t wait until we have the opportunity to once again be on the giving side again.
We’ll never, ever take that position for granted again.
November 13th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Rebekah says:
You were a favorite on another site I view regularly, rethas rambles, and I followed it! How happy I am! I have often been on the receiving end and do all I can to give back. You expressed it so eloquently! May your day be Blessed! Rebekah
November 13th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
bee says:
Every time I think I have a favorite post, you always top it!
So touching. You’ve paid it forward, too, by sharing the story! Thanks!
November 14th, 2007 at 1:01 am
Steff (http://okierivermama.livejournal.com/) says:
I was in tears in part all the way down the comments till I got to the last three Roxannes comment had me erupting in a fit of giggles. We too have been trying to teach our boys about giving and sharing and some days I think they get it and others I think we have somehow gone completely wrong. I told them that for santa to bring them anything new for Christmas they had to EACH box up 2 boxes of stuff they were willing to get rid of…T was having none of it and told me he still needed all of his stuff. K being the older and slightly wiser of the two promptly came and told me he was done, he had two boxes packed. I went to check and by golly he did have 2 boxes packed 1 full of his DADS old baseball caps and the other full of his brothers FAVORITE toys. When I asked him why he chose those things he said…there are daddies out there without no hair mama and they need those caps to protect their heads. And why Ts toys and not your own…He needed my help mama to learn what he didnt need
The logic of 4 y/os.
I told him the point was for him to part with some of his stuff if he really wants santa to bring him that big boy lego track hoe.
steff
November 14th, 2007 at 1:19 am
Steph says:
Wow. I hope one day I will be able to do this too.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Amy says:
De-lurking to thank you for this story. A great reminder during the Thanksgiving season. We are so blessed and need to remember it more often.
November 14th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Overwhelmed With Joy! says:
What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing!
November 15th, 2007 at 1:08 am
Pieces says:
What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. I will watch for an opportunity to do the same one day.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Beret says:
Wonderful. I have been on the giving and receiving end several times, and it always feels SO good to give. I have a feeling there were more than a few good deeds done after reading this post. Thanks!
November 16th, 2007 at 8:22 am
BooMama » A Little Link Love says:
[...] What Goes Around by Antique Mommy [...]
November 16th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
faithful chick says:
This is, without a doubt, one of the best posts I have read in the blog world. I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Blessings.
faithful chick
http://www.faithfulchick.blogspot.com
November 16th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Gretchen says:
Wow. So glad Boomama pointed me in your direction today. I have no words, except: beautiful.
November 16th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
melissa says:
Wow. You made me cry! I’ve been on both sides, too. I’m not sure what builds more character…the giving or receiving end?
November 16th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Kerri says:
Sometimes receiving is so hard. What a blessing for you both!
November 16th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
Darlene says:
This is a beautiful post. I don’t think that I have ever come to your blog before. I am glad that I did today.
November 16th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Jennifer says:
BEAUTIFUL story…so glad I came across your blog randomly today.
November 16th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Amanda says:
Well you’ve got me crying! What a precious story.
November 16th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Jennifer F. says:
What a beautiful post. Thanks so much for posting this.
November 16th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Sabrena says:
I think this is such a beautiful story…one that probably wouldn’t touch me so if I didn’t live it at one time or another! I do love a heartwarming story…you have such a gift for telling the details
November 16th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Melanie says:
Thanks for sharing. God is good.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Lisa says:
I’ve been on both the receiving and the giving end, and this is something I’ve thought a lot about. Most of us (as Christians) are so much more skilled at giving, yet it’s so much more humbling to receive, as I’ve learned in a difficult season of my life.
As my pastor so memorably put it, “If God is trying to give you a gift, for crying out loud, take it!” I’ve had to remind myself of those wise words many times.
I loved reading your story. Thanks for sharing it.
November 17th, 2007 at 3:17 am
Katie (Roses are Red, Violets are Violet) says:
I just put on my mascara. Geez!
November 17th, 2007 at 8:36 am
JD says:
Beautiful! I forgot my money at the Dollar Store not long ago, and a gentleman who didn’t appear to have much himself paid for my purchase. I was humbled and grateful.
November 17th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Janel says:
I was linked to your blog from BooMama. I love this post. I think anyone could see this happening in any grocery store in any town. What a good reminder of paying it forward. Thank you.
November 17th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Marsha says:
I could SO relate to your post! It even got me all teary-eyed.
You are absolutely right– it is nice to be that older woman in the grocery store. And it is more blessed to give than to receive.
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful post.
November 17th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Jenny In Jakarta says:
Beautiful.
November 21st, 2007 at 6:23 am
Jacque says:
I have been on both ends of that. I am thankful to have been on both ends. I look forward to being on the giving end many many more times, but you never know.
We need to give, we need to receive, and we need to be humbled. This is an excellent expression of all 3.
blessings!
-Jacque
November 21st, 2007 at 6:39 am