Mildly Amusing

2007 Best of Comments

One of the best things about offering myself up for public humiliation and criticism on my blog nearly every day is your comments. Goodnight you people make me laugh! I keep a file called Best of Comments and then at the end of the year, I like to publish them out of context just to amuse myself. I’m kind of like a cat with a piece of string — easily amused. However, this year was a tragic year for my Best of Comments file because, in July my computer died a sudden death, not only leaving…

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Always Real

Still

MotherPie asked me what I was still doing around here. So here goes: Still amazed: at the miracle that is my little boy, how delightful and funny and bright he is, that God saw fit to make ME?! his mother. Still getting used to: a post mid-40s face (and backside) Still loving: my iPod Still proud of:  graduating summa cum laude with a degree in art and theater which I completed at 38.7-years-old proving that endurance trumps brains. Still not proud of: past relationships left in need of repair. Still hoping: to go back and complete…

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Reruns and Leftovers

The Credit Card

Sometime before Christmas, as I was getting into my car, I noticed something stuck between the seat and the console. So I bravely stuck my hand into that deep dark black hole where loose change, French fries and Goldfish go to die. And lo and behold it was a credit card! It was Antique Daddy’s credit card. At least once a week, Antique Daddy loses his money/credit cards/keys and I freak out and turn the house upside down looking for them. And while I’m busy freaking out and digging through the trash, he’s busy helping me…

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Always Real

Ugly Rugs And Other Lies

The morning of Christmas Eve, Sean and I were at Wal-Mart gathering up a few last minute things for my mother-in-law’s birthday, which is Christmas Eve. Sean was really into the concept of celebrating Memaw’s birthday. He wanted to bake a birthday cake for her, so we bought cake mix and icing and sparkly sugar. He wanted to put flowers on the table so I paid $9 for semi-slimy flowers from the Isle of Misfit Flowers. He wanted to buy her a present so he picked out the most hideous rug in the universe from the…

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Always Real

Something Went Horribly Awry In Order Processing

This evening, Sean put in a call to Aunt Jean to wish her a Merry Christmas.  I didn’t hear her side of the conversation, but I did hear this expressed in a rather derisive tone:  “Well, I got a pirate boat and a scooter, but I didn’t get the whistle that I ordered.” Just now, I am making a mental note to flog fire whomever processed his order. 

Faith

Angels Sang

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, Hark! The herald angels sing keeping watch over their flocks at night Glory to the newborn king An angel of the Lord appeared to them Peace on earth and mercy mild and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. God and sinners reconcile But the angel said to them, Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Joyful, all ye nations rise Today in the town of David a Savior…

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Outsmarted

To Believe Or Not To Believe. That Depends. Will There Be Presents?

Antique Daddy and I made the decision early early on that we would present Santa Claus as someone who is not real, but as a character from a story, like Lightning McQueen or Builder Bob.  The reason behind our thinking is that Sean is a bright little boy and it was going to take entirely too much verbal tap dancing to keep up the ruse for very long and we are tapped out. Nonetheless, there is just something about a 4-year-old that wants to, and mabye even needs to, believe in Santa Claus. And this year, I think he is trying to…

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Always Real

My Spiff Has Gone Missing

Antique Daddy and I were invited to a Christmas party this past weekend. I’ll be honest with you. We don’t get out much. Our party circuit is not even one lap these days. So we got spiffed up for the party. We seem to be running low on spiff around here. Truthfully, our spiffwear no longer fits, so actually we were not all that spiffed up, mainly just cleaned up. I wore the exact same thing I wore to this party two years ago. No one noticed. After the babysitter arrived, off we went to mix…

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Outsmarted

Pirate Boats Are So Last Week

Last year, for Christmas, Sean wanted a Peemo boat. I searched high and low and consulted the internets and soothsayers, but nay – no Peemo boat was to be found in all the land.  To this day we still have no idea what a Peemo boat is. This year I wised up.  I gave up on my powers of subtle discernment and the day after Thanksgiving, I just handed him the circulars from Toys R Us and Target and told him to circle what he wanted.  He flipped through the pages indifferently.  Nothing seemed right. Occasionally he…

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Christmas

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Hello everyone and welcome to the House of Antique.    Thank you for joining me on Boo Mama’s Christmas Tour of Homes.  Let me show you around. First of all, something old. You may remember this guy from a post from last year, Sitting Santa $1.39.  He is always the first thing I unwrap and put out every holiday season and the last thing I put away. He’s my favorite, but don’t tell the other decorations. We don’t want a holiday brouhaha on our hands. * * * Below is my favorite tree ornament, this sweet little baby boy sleeping on…

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