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  • A Bicycle Built For One

    December 6, 2007

    Sean loves to hear the story of how he came to be, how his mama and daddy wanted a baby so badly and how we prayed and waited and prayed and waited and prayed…. and then after five years, gave up.

    I tell him that one day I just said “Okay God, you win.  Have it your way” and that shortly thereafter I found out that I was going to be a mama and that it was the most marvelous thing that ever happened to me.

    The other night before bedtime, as I was lying in bed with Sean reading books, he turned to me and whispered that he had been praying that God would put another baby in my tummy so that he could have someone to ride bikes with.

    I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he should ask God to leave the baby on the doorstep instead.


    40 Comments »

    1. Antique Mommy says:

      Please please please don’t ask me if I’ve thought about adoption because that would make you the zillionth person who has asked me that. Yes, it has crossed our minds many times.

      December 6th, 2007 at 8:56 am

    2. bonniebeth says:

      AM,
      I was also a child of my parent’s old age and one they had given up on having and I do remember asking for a baby brother/sister repeatedly and even after my mother explained that their couldn’t be any more babies in her tummy I begged for her to adopt a baby brother for me – to no avail :) I think that is just the plight of the only/youngest child. My last child asked repeatedly for a baby brother and I kept telling him “You are the baby brother!” When we got custody of my two young grandsons, Jordan was 13 – the first couple of weeks were fun and then it was “I wish these babies could just go back to their parents.” :( We have had to work through five years of change in the family dynamics and although he loves his nephews – he would have gladly gone back to being the only child at home.
      Perhaps you could borrow a young child from church occasionally and let Sean see that babies are not instant brothers who can ride bikes?

      December 6th, 2007 at 9:13 am

    3. merry says:

      We brought home our first through adoption after 9+ years of infertility six months ago. Adopting a 9 year old means you get the questions right away. There are no easy answers, especially when it makes your heart hurt to think about it!

      December 6th, 2007 at 10:10 am

    4. CircusKelli says:

      I remember when Punkin was 4-1/2 yrs old and her baby sister was born. She couldn’t wait for her baby sister to arrive — sometime during the third day of Sweet Pea’s arrival at home, Punkin asked how long Sweet Pea would be living with us. ;)

      December 6th, 2007 at 10:11 am

    5. Julie says:

      We actually adopted our first and he helped pray baby girl into existence. He had hoped for a boy, but was happy with her just the same.

      Now she is always commenting how lucky her friends are who have sisters. I had her when I was 38. I’m 45 now and the thought of another baby, homemade or store bought, is frightening to me. And I don’t know if I have what it takes to adopt an older child with baggage. I have 2 sisters myself, and while they were quite the pain growing up, I so love having them as an adult. I feel her pain.

      December 6th, 2007 at 10:28 am

    6. Sabrena says:

      how about a seven year old?? LOL
      I would really miss her if she were gone, but man is she WHINEY!! We were talking last night about the car being whiney and not acting right, and Alex asked just who were we talking about…Yep! She knows she’s whiney!!

      I am dealing with almost everyone I know who is able is pregnant…I for just a split second was like yeah…I need another one-but the more I think about it the better I like just keeping my family the size it is…

      and as far as I am concerned it is soooo much easier with just one kid…no jealousy or fights between siblings and you can just get up and go…

      December 6th, 2007 at 10:41 am

    7. becca says:

      We pretend with the ElfGirl all the time. I would take her ready-made in a split-second heartbeat. It breaks my heart every time I walk into her home life.

      December 6th, 2007 at 10:54 am

    8. Lyssa Ireland Thomas says:

      I have two who pray for more, which is not going to happen. I think humans are geared to think more is better.

      All I know is you inspire all of us, Antique Mommy. Keep sharing your world. :)

      December 6th, 2007 at 10:57 am

    9. zoom says:

      By far, some the most well adjusted, happy people I know are only children of “older” parents. All of them are people who were born in the 50’s and 60’s, long before the medical technology we have now.

      They all have a story of parents who longed for a child, and thought they would be childless. Like bibilical Sarah, they are babies that made their mama’s laugh. Indeed, they are blessings to all who encounter these miracles from God.

      December 6th, 2007 at 11:13 am

    10. Karen @ Simply A Musing Blog says:

      Big sigh with you. Although I have three children, it would seem that my two youngest want me to have another one, and pray every night for mommy to “grow another baby in her tummy”. Surgery has made that impossible…and like you, we have discussed adoption, but I’m just waiting on God for this one. (I might be hoping He says “no”, I’m not sure)

      December 6th, 2007 at 11:26 am

    11. Mamacita says:

      My heart goes out to you. I, too, have an only son, and had to have a hysterectomy at age 32. Big hugs to you.

      December 6th, 2007 at 11:38 am

    12. Tammy Marcelain says:

      Sweet boy. I had my tubes tied after I had my twins, they were my #2 and #3, I know I thought it was the right decision at that time, but now that my kids are 8 and 10, just one more sure would have been fun. But the last time I wanted one more I got two, so I should just be content with a home that has heart big enough to welcome those who need to stop by.

      December 6th, 2007 at 11:39 am

    13. LeeAnn says:

      I was an only child and loved it… I think that I enjoy a closer relationship with my mom now because of it…

      Young son (youngest of three)recently informed me that he wants an uncle for Christmas however! I told him that he has to talk to Grandma about that (then I called to ‘warn’ her that he was going to ask her!)

      Needed to say, Grandma informed Young Son that no new uncles would be coming. So he decided that he would be just as happy with Air Hogs for Christmas instead!

      December 6th, 2007 at 11:48 am

    14. An Iowa Mom says:

      I’ve got four that you are more than welcome to borrow anytime. The three year old is available at this very minute if you’re interested.

      ;)

      December 6th, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    15. Blog Antagonist says:

      You know what? Even if they have siblings they still aren’t happy. Diminutive One wants a baby because he doesn’t like being the youngest. (Ain’t happening, though I am, technically able, I suffered a life threatening complication during his birth)

      There are advantages and disadvantages to every family configuration.

      But Sean will adjust to being an only child and thrive. And later on in life when you ask him, he will say that he had a terriffic childhood.

      December 6th, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    16. Stephanie says:

      Hugs to you… It can be hard to explain adult things to little ones his age. He doesn’t realize what a good thing he already has =)

      December 6th, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    17. Maddy says:

      Oh dear. It’s always when you least expect it.
      Best wishes

      December 6th, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    18. Quirky says:

      Maybe he should pray for neighborhood kids to move in instead. All the bike riding fun, none of the sibling rivalry. Plus you can just send them home at the end of the day.

      December 6th, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    19. Carol says:

      I remember that feeling when I had a hysterectomy at age 36. I had four under the age of six and was so grateful for them, yet the finality of it all felt like a physical pain in my heart. I can only imagine how your heart felt… and feels. I’m sorry.

      Carol

      December 6th, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    20. Sue says:

      What a bittersweet moment. I just want to give you big non-creepy internet hugs right now…

      December 6th, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    21. jayedee says:

      awww bless his heart!

      December 6th, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    22. Kelly @ Love Well says:

      All I can say is — watch that doorstep. I think God has a special line for kids’ prayer requests.

      December 6th, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    23. Sincerely Anna says:

      Love the way you word his birth story! We’ve been waiting a long time for #2 so these conversations happen a lot with my 5 year old, too. I try to always steer them toward sharing about how much we wanted and prayed for him (but had to wait a long time) and it fills me up at the same time to do so.
      Oh, and I can relate to the adoption question…we’re pursuing open domestic adoption but I get asked about international a zillion times, too. *sigh*

      December 6th, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    24. jeanne a says:

      Adoption is a good thing. But I think you need to definitely feel called. I would never tell anyone that they should adopt. It’s too much work, stress and money……. unless you’re called.

      We have had kids dropped in our laps.

      IF you were pursuing international adoption people would ask you why go overseas when there are so many kids here that need homes!

      December 6th, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    25. Inez Winston says:

      Not asking…just saying that I think this is a sweet moment in your life with Sean.

      December 6th, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    26. jean says:

      I cried when my son asked for a baby. He was about 4 at the time. He has since outgrown it and today (at the old age of 11) says he loves being an “only”. He has told me that he feels sorry for his friends who have younger siblings. He would still love to have older siblings and has on occasion wondered what it would be like to have an older sister. All I can say is that God knows what he’s doing (even if I don’t always get it!)

      December 6th, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    27. Christal says:

      That’s funny what you wrote in your first comment, because that’s EXACTLY what I was going to write! :-O
      You have read the internets’ minds.
      ~C

      December 6th, 2007 at 4:59 pm

    28. Antique Mommy says:

      Christal, People are so kind and well-intended when they ask if we have thought of adopting, but for me and for others as well I’m sure, it is kind of insulting. Of COURSE we’ve thought of adopting, we think of it all the time, we just don’t know if we should or could or if we are cut out for it or even called for it.

      So for a bit of unsolicited advice, that question, along with “When are you due” — should probably go unasked.

      December 6th, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    29. Roxanne says:

      Hi Antique Mommy,

      As your little guys grows up he will soon realize how lucky he is to have such a terrific mother and father. I am still waiting for my son and daughter to realize it – but don’t you worry I know it is coming…any day now…really!!! I mean they would never think of treating me the way I treated my parents…right?

      Take care and enjoy every single second.

      December 6th, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    30. Andrea says:

      *sniffle* I’m going to have to stop reading blogs today! You’re the third one to make me tear up!

      Sean is so precious…

      December 6th, 2007 at 6:18 pm

    31. Kathy says:

      I recently discovered your blog and I enjoy reading it very much. I too am an “antique mommy”. My only child, a son, was born when I was 43. He’s just about to turn 2 now. When people ask me how it happened, I say only that after years of trying with no baby to show for it, I accepted that was how things were going to be. That’s when God started to laugh, and shouted out “New Rules!” My life turned completely upside down, but its been worth every dizzying moment. Its fun to find other people on the same wild ride.

      December 6th, 2007 at 8:06 pm

    32. Poppy says:

      Isn’t Sean just THE sweetest?

      I know you already know this but you are so blessed to have that sweet little boy. Just as he is lucky to have you~

      *hugs*

      December 6th, 2007 at 11:00 pm

    33. edj says:

      (I might have already told you this) Like Sean, I was a child of older parents. Of course, I kept asking for a little sister (unlike Sean, I have 2 older bros). But my mother messed with my budding theology–she told me to pray for one, neglecting to mention the total hysterectomy she’d had. What was up with that? I’m sure I still bear scars.

      December 7th, 2007 at 12:15 am

    34. chickadee says:

      what a sweet boy. my heart breaks for all of you.

      December 7th, 2007 at 7:56 pm

    35. Heide says:

      My son Zeke is four, and was a very long time coming. Last year was his year of wanting “a baby.” Blessed with one, made my peace with it, yet….

      December 7th, 2007 at 9:58 pm

    36. Sue @ praise and coffee says:

      Awww, I just went back, I hadn’t been bloggin yet when you went through that.
      I think I will sound like my 3 year old when I get to heaven…why- why- why…but then again, maybe not.

      Isn’t God good to bring contentment.

      (((hugs))))

      Sue

      December 7th, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    37. Lala says:

      After 7 years of trying for another child I did the exact same thing (our only child who was 12 at the time had quite givin’ up asking for a sibling) and I basically said the same thing you did… if it is to be… it will be… and 2 years later it was! Our daughter was born!

      Now… our daughter is asking for a sibling… but alas… we also would need a doorstep package left for that to happen… really…

      Love your blog… thank you for sharing such touching moments

      Lala :o)

      December 8th, 2007 at 10:26 am

    38. Kvetch says:

      My dear friend, I just read this post. How lovely of Sean to pray for a baby without of course understanding the details and the medical science. Only children who are happy and well-loved and secure pray for a sibling. No matter what can or cannot be, that was a true compliment from the bottom of his little heart.

      xo

      December 8th, 2007 at 6:22 pm

    39. Lucy says:

      I think kids always want siblings, regardless of how many they already have. My three have often asked for another baby, especially a sister. And I think almost every mother wants “just one more…” But God knows what’s best for all of us, doesn’t he? You are a great mother and when he’s older, Sean will appreciate how much you have invested in him and how blessed he is to be your child. :)

      December 9th, 2007 at 2:24 am

    40. Becky says:

      Don’t worry A.M., the “I want a baby sister/brother…” thing pretty much stops once they start school and spend lots of time with other kids every day.

      My little 6 year old begged and prayed for a baby sister from age 2.5 to just about age 5. Then he changed to a baby brother and finally got one. After having a baby brother for a year now, he’s changed his tune. He denies ever asking for a sibling and wants us to send the one he got, back. LOL!

      Adoption worked out well for us, but it was a long wait between baby 1 and baby 2. When I was 36, having an infant was a pretty easy and wonderful thing. It was much harder at 40. :-/ But I’m still loving every minute of it! Well…almost every minute.

      December 9th, 2007 at 9:25 pm

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