One of the best things about offering myself up for public humiliation and criticism on my blog nearly every day is your comments. Goodnight you people make me laugh! I keep a file called Best of Comments and then at the end of the year, I like to publish them out of context just to amuse myself. I’m kind of like a cat with a piece of string — easily amused.
However, this year was a tragic year for my Best of Comments file because, in July my computer died a sudden death, not only leaving me stranded but allowing Antique Daddy to say “I told you so” in reference to this thing called “backing up your files”? I don’t know what that means.
Anyway, then the next day I bought a new computer and Vista which nearly caused me to pull all my hair out (and I got a lot of hair people) and made me want to drink myself dizzy. Bald and sloshed — just like Britney!
Then later, Antique Daddy magically resurrected the first computer with some little gizmo he bought off the internet which kept me computering along for several months. Then finally he bought me a second not-quite-new computer which I am using now. And it seems to be surviving this aura I have around me that destroys electronics, so it must be good.
All that to say, with all the coming and goings of computers around here, my files are who knows where. I don’t. So my Best of Comments file is a little thin, unlike me.
Nonetheless I shall present to you what remains of the 2007 Best of Comments file, taken totally out of context because it’s my blog and I can do what I want. I will add the others back in when/if I find them. I’ll go check Antique Daddy’s sock drawer for them right now.
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“For what it’s worth, I think you’re handling the whole situation beautifully. If you try to force the issue, he’ll just end up all strung out on scotch tape with poop in his pants.” ~ Big Mama
“The truth is you DO know better. I don’t care if it’s only a drip. Toilet paper should be used by all people regardless of gender. Thank you and have a nice day.” ~ Daring Young Mom
“Good grief, woman, didn’t your mama ever tell you not to believe everything you see on TV? It’s all done with mirrors. They didn’t show you the part where she’s mainlining caffeine and weeping into her valium pills and sweeping little piles of cheerios down the heating vents.” ~ Planet Nomad
“Men can also only see eight colors. Off-white, bone, ecru, ivory and eggshell are all white. Also salmon is a food and not a color.” ~ Will
“…whenever I find myself rifling through the garbage I think of you.” ~ Fiddlededee
“I just bought 6 ears at Wal-Mart today….” ~ Jen
“I have to agree, I am not a butt user.” ~ Janelle
“We all end up in diapers eventually. But manners…. they stick around!” ~ Bee
“When I start talking to my shampoo, it generally means I need a little nap.” ~ Beck
“If God wants you to know what’s wrong with you he’ll fire up one of the bushes in your flower bed and speak through it.” ~ Jeana