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  • 2007 Best of Comments

    December 31, 2007

    One of the best things about offering myself up for public humiliation and criticism on my blog nearly every day is your comments. Goodnight you people make me laugh! I keep a file called Best of Comments and then at the end of the year, I like to publish them out of context just to amuse myself. I’m kind of like a cat with a piece of string — easily amused.

    However, this year was a tragic year for my Best of Comments file because, in July my computer died a sudden death, not only leaving me stranded but allowing Antique Daddy to say “I told you so” in reference to this thing called “backing up your files”? I don’t know what that means.

    Anyway, then the next day I bought a new computer and Vista which nearly caused me to pull all my hair out (and I got a lot of hair people) and made me want to drink myself dizzy.  Bald and sloshed —  just like Britney!  

    Then later, Antique Daddy magically resurrected the first computer with some little gizmo he bought off the internet which kept me computering along for several months.  Then finally he bought me a second not-quite-new computer which I am using now. And it seems to be surviving this aura I have around me that destroys electronics, so it must be good.   

    All that to say, with all the coming and goings of computers around here, my files are who knows where. I don’t. So my Best of Comments file is a little thin, unlike me.

     Nonetheless I shall present to you what remains of the 2007 Best of Comments file, taken totally out of context because it’s my blog and I can do what I want.  I will add the others back in when/if I find them.  I’ll go check Antique Daddy’s sock drawer for them right now.

    * * * 

    “For what it’s worth, I think you’re handling the whole situation beautifully. If you try to force the issue, he’ll just end up all strung out on scotch tape with poop in his pants.”   ~ Big Mama

    “The truth is you DO know better. I don’t care if it’s only a drip. Toilet paper should be used by all people regardless of gender. Thank you and have a nice day.”   ~ Daring Young Mom

    “Good grief, woman, didn’t your mama ever tell you not to believe everything you see on TV? It’s all done with mirrors. They didn’t show you the part where she’s mainlining caffeine and weeping into her valium pills and sweeping little piles of cheerios down the heating vents.”   ~ Planet Nomad

    “Men can also only see eight colors. Off-white, bone, ecru, ivory and eggshell are all white. Also salmon is a food and not a color.”   ~ Will

    “…whenever I find myself rifling through the garbage I think of you.”   ~ Fiddlededee

    “I just bought 6 ears at Wal-Mart today….”   ~ Jen

    “I have to agree, I am not a butt user.”  ~ Janelle

    “We all end up in diapers eventually. But manners…. they stick around!”  ~ Bee

    “When I start talking to my shampoo, it generally means I need a little nap.”  ~ Beck

    “If God wants you to know what’s wrong with you he’ll fire up one of the bushes in your flower bed and speak through it.”  ~ Jeana

    35 Comments »

    1. ~*~ Jennifer ~*~ says:

      You are brilliant! (No really — you are!!)

      Have I ever told you I like reading your blog? I do.

      Have I ever told you that I like it that you don’t change your blog scheme every other day? I do.

      Have I ever told you that your honesty is inspiring? It is.

      THANKS for blogging this year! °Ü°

      December 31st, 2007 at 10:56 am

    2. JEN says:

      Hilarious….I dont even remember that comment. Have a great New Years friend…I look forward to next year reading you…..

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:11 am

    3. parenting judy says:

      I am just like you…easily amused!
      I am sure people like us makes the world a better place to live in….(ok….i am amusing myself again!)

      Have a great new year 🙂

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:18 am

    4. Praise and Coffee says:

      Those are great, what a fun idea!
      Sue

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:21 am

    5. CircusKelli says:

      Hee hee! That IS a great idea!

      I’m glad I found you/your blog this year! You’ll be seeing me in the new year as well.

      Happy 2008 to you and yours!

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:23 am

    6. Brandie says:

      Too funny! I LOVE Big Mama’s quote!

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:30 am

    7. Christie says:

      Found your blog this year and have enjoyed reading. Those comments are hilarious! Keep it up!

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:31 am

    8. Terri says:

      Hahaha! You’re so funny. Since I’ve only been reading you for about six months, I’m looking forward to a full year of Antique Mommy in 2008.

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:32 am

    9. Tammy Marcelain says:

      I enjoy all of your posts! My most favorite still is your Mary Tyler Moore and I have read it so many times that when I use my foot to flush in a public restroom I always think of you and your sandal. You are a gift of joy to me.

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:43 am

    10. Elizabeth says:

      Thanks for the laughs and Happy New Year to you and yours!

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:54 am

    11. DaniGirl says:

      Oh, I am TOTALLY stealing this idea for next year. I love it!!

      December 31st, 2007 at 11:56 am

    12. Roxanne says:

      You FOSTER the hilarity in us, Antique Mommy. Thanks for another year’s worth of laughs and tears and moments to ponder.

      December 31st, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    13. Jennifer says:

      That’s a really neat idea for a year end post. I’m so happy to have found your blog this year. You keep me giggling.

      December 31st, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    14. Beck says:

      Okay, now I want to do this to, but it’s too LATE!

      December 31st, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    15. Andrea says:

      This is a wonderful idea! I may just borrow it next year, but be sure if I do, I will cite the source for the idea. 🙂

      I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog this year. I look forward to the next!

      Happy New Year!

      December 31st, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    16. MotherPie says:

      “Strung out on scotch tape”…. that’s a great one. What a good idea to collect the comments.
      You are a good writer… full of ideas.

      December 31st, 2007 at 3:25 pm

    17. Fiddledeedee (It Coulda Been Worse) says:

      Very very funny, my blogging sister.

      December 31st, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    18. Happy Geek says:

      He’ll fire up one of the bushes in your flowerbed?” Oh I am going to laugh all day at that one!
      Happy New Year!

      December 31st, 2007 at 5:52 pm

    19. Heidi says:

      I have been trying to come up with a “slam bang finish” for the year (I just started blogging in November), and since copy-catting is the highest form of flattery…or so they say…I hope you don’t mind if I steal your idea (I’ll give you props on my blog, of course!).

      You are a GREAT read. I am constantly telling my husband about how much I enjoy reading your blog. Those who can take the mundane situations in life and make them fascinating inspire and awe me. Thanks, and keep it up!

      December 31st, 2007 at 6:40 pm

    20. Holley says:

      Walmart always inspires prose. From the smashed chewing gum on the sidewalk as you enter, to the sticky Icee machine at the snack bar. Even the giant cages of $3.99 dvd’s in the aisles(remember Steven Segal?) and Star tabloids by the checkout…..it’s all their for our gratification. Long live Walmart!

      December 31st, 2007 at 7:06 pm

    21. chickadee says:

      what a fun idea!
      hope you have a happy new year with no computer crashes.

      December 31st, 2007 at 7:19 pm

    22. Laura says:

      Oh my goodness! Reading this post really made me chuckle.

      December 31st, 2007 at 7:45 pm

    23. kathie says:

      What a fun idea! Thanks for your blog last year, it was definitely a bright spot in my days.

      December 31st, 2007 at 8:02 pm

    24. Dana says:

      Fun, funny stuff! Now I’m really wishing you could find the rest of the file…

      January 1st, 2008 at 1:19 am

    25. Teah says:

      So…I guess we have something to aim for, now? Wow…I know some bloggers like to encourage comments, but…reading them back to us? Genius!

      January 1st, 2008 at 1:38 am

    26. zoom says:

      There are too many nuggets of fun in this. My favorites are your Britney comment and God firing up a shrub. Funny stuff.

      January 1st, 2008 at 10:34 am

    27. Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants says:

      Dude, now I’m gonna have to break out my smartypants to make the list next year!

      Love to ya!

      January 1st, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    28. Liza's Eyeview says:

      Oh my! These are way too funny! I wish i had comments like that 😉

      HAPPY NEW YEAR!

      January 1st, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    29. Qtpies7~ says:

      I sure would love to read the rest of the file, lol. I think it is a brilliant idea, using other peoples words instead of coming up with your own, and then looking all smart and witty. The best way to blog!

      January 1st, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    30. AB says:

      Great…now after reading your first comment (on the post about comments) I feel bad that I change my blog design every month. I get bored, people! Is that so wrong? Luckily for me (?) I don’t seem to get as many comments so counting the funny ones should be easy for someone like me who, as it turns out, is math-challenged.

      January 1st, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    31. Sue says:

      bwa ha ha ha ha

      January 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 am

    32. nan says:

      What a great idea… You may have just started a trend! I love your blog, AND the comments you get. Happy new year!

      January 2nd, 2008 at 7:45 am

    33. Pieces says:

      Brilliantly funny! You definitely have talented commenters.

      January 2nd, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    34. maggie says:

      Ha! Sorry about the computer(s), but if you’d pulled any more funny comments, I might have split my sides laughing.

      Funny.

      January 6th, 2008 at 4:44 pm

    35. bee says:

      What a great idea! (And I’d say that even if I didn’t make the list!)

      January 8th, 2008 at 9:45 am

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