Modern Medicine

Easter Eggs

Since we learned last month that our child is peeing pancake syrup, we have made heroic efforts to cut the sugar out of our diets.  And the person who has been most compliant and most faithful to this lifestyle change is Sean.  He has simply accepted it and goes along with little complaint.  The other day, his teacher told me that when he was offered candy at school, he politely declined.  He pointed to his arm where his blood was drawn and said the doctor told him no candy until his blood was better.  It kind of breaks my heart…

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Outsmarted

Outsourcing Blame

The other day I spent about 40 minutes in my den standing in front of the wall of windows that look out onto my backyard. I was not standing there in amazement watching agile squirrels with spring fever jump from branch to branch like acrobats.  I was not taking in the beauty of budding trees or the glory of the changing seasons. No, I was untangling six tightly wound little clumps of nylon cord to six ventian blinds that cover six windows. The knotting was not the accidental tangling that sometimes occurs with ventian blind cords. The knotting was the work of an…

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Always Real, Antique Daddy, Snips And Snails

Stripes Are In

In keeping with my quest to provide Sean with a perfect Norman Rockwell childhood, we stopped by Taco Bueno on the way home from church after Easter services and picked up some party burritos for lunch. Who wants a ham and all the fixin’s served on the family china when you can have a burrito on paper? I figure if I keep his expectations low, it will make it easier on his future wife. Anyway, as our little tribe of three sat around the kitchen table quietly eating our pathetic Easter dinner of burritos off paper,…

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Outsmarted

Chain Yanking Is Our Tradition

Mommy can I have some more grapes? No, you’ve had plenty of grapes. Oh. (long pause for dramatic effect)  I thought you loved me. No.  Not really. I never really liked you that much. Are you teasin’? Yup. Just kidding. So.  Can I have more grapes? Still no.

Photography & Photoshop

Fabulous Photo Contest

Photo Temporarily Unavailable I had to take my photos down because they were causing problems with the site. When those issues are resolved, I’ll try to put some of the photos back up.   Is this not a fabulous photo? I wish I had taken it. It was taken by my friend, Olivia.  I interviewed her recently and here’s what she had to say: AM:  How old are you Olivia? Olivia:  I am ten.  I was still nine when I took the picture. AM:  This is really an amazing picture that you took of your sister.  Did…

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Aunt Jean

Nonagenarian

This weekend we celebrated Aunt Jean’s 90th birthday.  Don’t even try to keep up with this woman unless you’ve got rollers skates — she’s on the computer, she’s up on all the news, she’s on comittees, she’s on the go all the time.  Someone at the party commented that if they make it to 90, they just hoped they could get around as well she does.  I said I didn’t care if I could get around at all, I just wanted to be that stylish.  I asked her to what she owed her longevity and she said good…

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Antique Junk Drawer

Husbandry

Dear Husbands Across America, If your wife is being self-deprecating, you are not allowed to join the party. It is not a bandwagon, do not jump on. Thank you and have a pleasant tomorrow. ~ Antique Mommy * * * * * In the interest of equal opportunity: Dear Wives Across America – The art of being wife wise, is knowing what to overlook. Thank you and have a pleasant tomorrow. ~ Antique Mommy

Reruns and Leftovers

In The South, You Can Wear A Crayon On Your Head Or Color With One

Anyway, I was over at the Apathy Lounge where I ran into my friend and the proprieter, the lovely Mizz Beaverhausen who was celebrating the 105th birthday of Crayola Color Crayons. And I was reminded of two things. No, make that three. I was reminded of how much I love crayons. I was reminded of a post I wrote a few years ago about crayons and I was reminded that I have nothing for tomorrow. So here ya go, an old post about crayons. * * * * Broken Crayons I like my crayons broken. They are better that way.…

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Makes Me Sigh, School

Transparent And Unapologetic

Monday morning we were late for school. As usual. We are late almost every day, but thanks to Daylight Savings Time, we were well beyond our usual brand of late. I walked Sean into his classroom and his classmates were already sitting on the floor working on some group activity. Marlee, a tiny piquant blonde, looked up and noticed Sean standing there. Marlee is known for her exuberance, her boundless energy, her unabashed joi de vie. She leapt to her feet, hurdled several of her classmates OJ style and then wrapped Sean up in a big bear hug, lifting him…

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Always Real

The Health Club

I have a treadmill in my house.  And a recumbent bike.  And a BowFlex.  And free weights. And all kinds of other work out paraphernalia.  You would think that I would be in great shape because I can work out any time I want, right?  It’s all right here in my house.  I can work out at 2am if I feel like it!   That’s what I rationalized said when I purchased each of those things.  But you know what?  I never feel like working out at 2am.  Never.  Not even one time.  You know what…

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