I have a treadmill in my house. And a recumbent bike. And a BowFlex. And free weights. And all kinds of other work out paraphernalia. You would think that I would be in great shape because I can work out any time I want, right? It’s all right here in my house. I can work out at 2am if I feel like it!
That’s what I
rationalized said when I purchased each of those things. But you know what? I never feel like working out at 2am. Never. Not even one time. You know what I feel like doing at 2am? Sleeping. And on those rare occasions when I do feel like working out and actually get on the treadmill? Within five minutes someone needs me to do something, find something or wipe something. And that’s the end of my workout.
With that thought in mind, back in the fall, in November I think, I joined one of those big national health clubs. I
rationalized said that if I went there to walk on the treadmill that probably no one would make me stop to wipe their bottom or find their keys.
Then there was Thanksgiving. And then Christmas. And then I felt cruddy most of January and February. No treading happened here, there nor anywhere.
And now it’s March!
And I’m actually going to the health club! Well going may be a bit of an over statement. How many times do you have to actually go somewhere before you can legally say going? Let’s just say that I’ve been inside the health club a few times during the month of March. So then, using my calculator – so far — it’s only costing me $157 per workout! That’s the kind of stewardship that makes Dave Ramsey’s tummy turn.
I’ve learned a lot about working out since I’ve been “going” to the club. I’ve learned that you can watch any music video on MTV while listening to the B-52’s sing Love Shack on your iPod and it works. Music videos do not make sense to me, so why not just watch them all to Love Shack? Come to think of it, Love Shack doesn’t make any sense to me either, but it’s got a beat you can tread to. Love Shack works with Regis and Kelly, Rachel Ray pouring E-V-Oh-Oh, Television’ Telemundo game shows and a local TV anchor doing the hand jive with Barney – you know, big purple Barney? On an unrelated side note, when you are a television news journalist and you are hand jiving with Barney at 9am, your career has gotten seriously off track.
The other thing I’ve learned is that the possibilities of looking ridiculous at a health club are unlimited, even if you are not hand jiving with a dinosaur. Add questionable clothing choices, an iPod and shoe laces to the equation and you’ve upped your odds exponentially of making a fool of yourself.
Of course I could also do that in the privacy of my own home for free at 2am.
If you make a fool of yourself and no sees you, are you still a fool? Philosophically speaking, of course.