Outsourcing Blame

The other day I spent about 40 minutes in my den standing in front of the wall of windows that look out onto my backyard.

I was not standing there in amazement watching agile squirrels with spring fever jump from branch to branch like acrobats.  I was not taking in the beauty of budding trees or the glory of the changing seasons. No, I was untangling six tightly wound little clumps of nylon cord to six ventian blinds that cover six windows.

The knotting was not the accidental tangling that sometimes occurs with ventian blind cords. The knotting was the work of an evil sailor with wicked boy scout knotting skills. 

Later that day I asked Sean how the ventian blind cords had gotten tangled up so badly.  “Regan?” he quickly suggested.

“I don’t think it was Regan,” I said. “Besides, she hasn’t been here since last week.”

“Um… Kendall? I think it was Kendall.”

“Kendall is only two.  She’s too short.  Besides, this is an inside job. It would have been done by someone who has the time and the means.”

At that point, he shrugged his shoulders and ran away.

When you are an only child you have to oursource the blame.

15 thoughts on “Outsourcing Blame

  1. Last year in our house it was “the wind did it. And I was asleep at the time.” Recently, I was on the New York Times web site watching a video clip of Eliot Spitzer resigning as NY State governor, when Little Guy walked in and wanted to know what I was watching. “Uhhhhh… That man behaved badly and told some lies, and now he isn’t allowed to be in charge of New York State any more.”

    Huh: recently, there’s been more regard for truth around here.

  2. You’ve been in-blog-nito to me all day! Finally I could read the rest of the tease I got from my Bloglines! I’m glad your server finally finished with its upgrades or whatever hooey they said on that error page….

    There’s only me and hubby here most of the time and he still finds someone else to blame things on. Now me? I always own up to my mistakes. 😉

  3. “I know a funny little man,
    As quiet as a mouse,
    Who does the mischief that is done
    In everybody’s house!”
    – “Mr. Nobody,” Anonymous (amusingly enough)

    This explains your tangled blind cords. Mr. Nobody, not Sean, is the guilty party. 😉

  4. I have a friend who’s child used to blame Mr Rogers when something like that happened…

    Who broke the lamp? Ummmm- Mr Rogers did it!

  5. I love that concept. But I’m surprise that, when you saw the damage (Damage! Ha!) you didn’t pull out the old, “Sean? I thought you loved me.”

  6. I have an only too. It’s hard on them. When there was red crayon on the wall he told me that the dog did it. He even showed me how. He said the dog picked up the crayon in his mouth and then drew on the wall. If nothing else, being an only makes them more imaginative. Right? Just nod and move on.

  7. “It was that little girl YOU let come over to play”
    sounds familiar.

    when my youngest was 3ish maybe 4 he had just heard about “God living in our hearts” he went stomping aound the front porch proclaiming in his deepest voice “HI, My name is GOD”
    later that day when I asked who!?!? had trampled my flowers his answer was “God walked in your garden Mommy” He already intuitivly knew that you couldn’t spank God.

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