Bought new tires. Nothing quickens the heart of a girl like a new set of tires. Can’t wait to show all my friends.
Noticed an emerging zit on my chin. Carefully applied my super-de-doopery zit medicine. Prided myself for not messing with the zit. Discovered later that day that it wasn’t a zit. It was jelly.
Stopped by the dry cleaners to pick up a shirt I had dropped off for Antique Daddy. The clerk disappeared into the back where the mystery of dry cleaning occurs. I heard a lot of rustling of plastic and Korean chatter before the clerk appeared and said, “No shirt give me phone number” I gave her phone number and she punched in some buttons and said “No shirt” and shrugged her shoulders. And then she said something in Korean to the other workers and everyone started laughing. Went home and found the shirt hanging neatly in the dry cleaning plastic in the closet. I had already picked it up.
Mailed my sofa reupholstery fund, summer shoes fund and general entertainment fund to the IRS. Apparently the IRS has needs too and their needs trump mine. Even though it’s my money and I’m the one with a shabby sofa. But no, I’m not bitter.
Coasted into the gas station on fumes. Removed gas cap and began pumping gas. Knocked gas cap off its holder. Falls to the ground. Rolls under the car. Beyond my reach. Searched car for gas cap retrieving device. Cursed myself for cleaning car. Crawled under the car and retrieved gas cap. Tried to pretend that I didn’t have my nose centimeters from someone’s gum.
Reached up to adjust my earring in Wal-Mart. Caught my watch on my sweater. Sweater and watch lock in bizarre interspecies mating ritual. Left Wal-Mart with a watch hanging from the front of my sweater and probably axle grease in my hair. Tried to look normal.
And it’s only Wednesday…
But! Shortly after 6pm tonight some lucky gal will be getting an email from me telling her she’s getting a new swimming suit courtesy of Lands End! And that makes up for the axle grease and the fact that I nearly had my nose in someone’s gum.