Antique Crazy

My Week So Far

Bought new tires. Nothing quickens the heart of a girl like a new set of tires.  Can’t wait to show all my friends.


Noticed an emerging zit on my chin.  Carefully applied my super-de-doopery zit medicine.  Prided myself for not messing with the zit.  Discovered later that day that it wasn’t a zit. It was jelly.


Stopped by the dry cleaners to pick up a shirt I had dropped off for Antique Daddy.  The clerk disappeared into the back where the mystery of dry cleaning occurs.  I heard a lot of rustling of plastic and Korean chatter before the clerk appeared and said, “No shirt give me phone number”  I gave her phone number and she punched in some buttons and said “No shirt” and shrugged her shoulders.  And then she said something in Korean to the other workers and everyone started laughing.  Went home and found the shirt hanging neatly in the dry cleaning plastic in the closet.  I had already picked it up.


Mailed my sofa reupholstery fund, summer shoes fund and general entertainment fund to the IRS.  Apparently the IRS has needs too and their needs trump mine.  Even though it’s my money and I’m the one with a shabby sofa.  But no, I’m not bitter.


Coasted into the gas station on fumes. Removed gas cap and began pumping gas. Knocked gas cap off its holder.  Falls to the ground.  Rolls under the car.  Beyond my reach. Searched car for gas cap retrieving device.  Cursed myself for cleaning car. Crawled under the car and retrieved gas cap.  Tried to pretend that I didn’t have my nose centimeters from someone’s gum.


Reached up to adjust my earring in Wal-Mart.  Caught my watch on my sweater. Sweater and watch lock in bizarre interspecies mating ritual. Left Wal-Mart with a watch hanging from the front of my sweater and probably axle grease in my hair.  Tried to look normal.


And it’s only Wednesday…


But!  Shortly after 6pm tonight some lucky gal will be getting an email from me telling her she’s getting a new swimming suit courtesy of Lands EndAnd that makes up for the axle grease and the fact that I nearly had my nose in someone’s gum.

63 thoughts on “My Week So Far

  1. I think you could re-establish your sofa fund if you market that super-de-dooper zit medicine that turns zitsto jelly.

    I’m just sayin’.

  2. I am so glad that someone elses world seems to top mine in the bizzare, unfortunate and “sad but true” department.

    I am the one whose tounge is still numb four months after a minor dental procedure apparently damaged a nerve, the one who once drove off with the gas hose still in and attached to the car( that caused everyone to stop and stare!) and the one who has on two seperate occasions asked brand new mothers when the baby was due!

    Thank you for helping me feel more normal.:)
    And at least the watch caught your sweater and not your earring! You would have had a watch hanging from your ear then! 🙂

  3. The IRS gave me a chunk of MY money back, but they took my “be a stay-at-home mommy” fund, which is really a big bummer to me.

    Your week makes mine look like a walk in the park.

  4. I am totally cracking up. I’m glad that there’s someone else in the world that has bizarre moments. Sometimes I imagine that there’s a camera following me around recording my every stupid moment, so I end up laughing when I see it from an outsider’s point of view.

  5. Oh wow, that’s quite a week. It’s a good thing you have a good sense of humor about it. (Those jelly zits, though, they are the WORST.) Hope the rest of your week is better!

  6. Thanks! You made me laugh out loud. I don’t do that nearly often enough! (note to self: read more A.M.!!)

  7. Oh AM… this is exactly why I love you. You’re just like the rest of us… except I’d have messed with the zit. I can’t help it! I want that puppy gone!)

    And for the cap thing, you could move your car up a bit to retrieve it. Hey, anything to avoid coming face to face with gum that is not your own…

  8. You are at your best when you life is at it’s worst. I don’t know if that is okay with you..but it is incredibly entertaining for us.
    Thank you for the chuckles.

  9. I took my car in for “routine maintenance” a week or two ago (don’t ask me what all was entailed. I think they checked my windshield washer fluid) and was told that I need new brake pads and a new battery. That news quickened my heart too, but not in a good way. 🙂

  10. Whoo. Sounds like an interesting day to say the least! I sure hope I get an email from you this evening. That would be AWESOME!

  11. But does it make up for the jelly zit? Because that’s hysterical but a tad hard on one’s pride.

    (Of course, speaking as a fellow blogger, I suppose we have little pride left at this point.)

  12. Just about the time I have enough saved up to do something I really want to do- like recover a chair- the stupid tires need to be replaced. Foils my plans every time. If there was not that little issue of safety, I would so back burner those bad boys.

  13. Are you related to Erma Bombeck? You have me cracking up, but mind you, I’m laughing WITH you (you ARE laughing, aren’t you?). I bet you were rethinking your decision of having decided to get out of bed yesterday morning! ;-Þ

  14. I have had days like that. It sounds like it is time to pop in a movie the kiddo likes & go snuggle with him for a bit.

  15. You aren’t alone with the dry cleaner thing. Except I basically threw a huge fit and totally embarrassed myself by refusing to leave until they gave me my clothes back. Right up until I found the receipt in my purse. Then I had to slink out of there and find a new dry cleaner. Sigh.

  16. Quirky, man oh man have I have done the same thing with the dry cleaners. And the credit card companies and a number of other retailers. Humble pie – actually not all that tasty.

  17. My favorite saying sometimes is that “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” Sounds like that one fits these circumstances.

  18. I am delurking to tell you this post caused me to nearly pee myself. Which may not be saying much since I just had my second child and a mere clearing of the throat causes me to pee myself. But, you get the point.
    Thank you for the laughter!

  19. thank you for the laughter. exhaustion has set in with a one month old and the laughter cheered me up!

    Thank you!

  20. Think about it this way – you brightened the day for the ladies at the cleaners too! Fortunately I never have a problem with pumping my own gas since here in Oregon you can’t pump your own gas – yea!!

  21. “Left Wal-mart with a watch hanging from the front of my sweater and probably axle grease in my hair. Tried to look normal.”


    Girl, for Wal-Mart, that is normal!

  22. Always love your posts. Always cracking up after I read. Sounds like a good week. Atleast you get a new day when you wake up tomorrow and you can try again. Ha!

  23. Thanks for the laugh! I don’t mind as much when annoying things happen to me now because I’m thinking, “I can blog this.”

  24. It’s only Wednesday and already you are off to a rip roaring start. Good luck with the rest of the week.

  25. You joke about the tires…but isn’t it funny, as you get older and have children, those kinds of things do make your day. A few months ago, we were without a washer for four days. When we got the washer back, I was so excited I did laundry all day and loved it! Really, really, really sad….but true.

  26. yeah, we were wishing we’d put new tires on the hubby’s car when it snowed both to and from the airport for our spring break trip.
    so sad that every month it seems something like that comes up and steals the “entertainment” money… not like we ever have time to actually, you know, GO BE ENTERTAINED or anything! 😉
    Thanks for the laugh!

  27. I love the way you always see the lighter side of ANY situation. Sean is lucky to have such a fun mommy.

  28. I am laughing so hard! I was in Ross last night and kept getting clotheshangers caught in my sweater. It’s not nearly as funny as you and your watch in Walmart, though.

  29. You can move your car up a bit IF it’s an older model BUT if it’s relatively new it will mess up the computer if you start it with the cap off…just another way to get a service fee out of us! I’m not sure which funds the IRS dipped into at my house but the mechanic finished them off this afternoon with his $600 bill.

  30. AM – I ‘m having one of those weeks, too. You should come over to see what my Sweet Boy said to me to make my week. 🙂 …My “Love in the time of Teen Years” entry.

  31. AM- Got new tires yesterday. Actually was pleased with those. They added 2 miles per gallon on my guzzler. Checked our refund status from our state taxes and was shocked to see we don’t get one. Funny, our tax forms said we did. I just put our 4 year old in time-out for the billionth time today. Okay. Maybe not the billionth but this sure isn’t his first time on the naughty bench.
    There has to be something in the air.

  32. No, no, it’s better to be blonde when we do stuff like that. Then people just shake their heads like they expected it all along. And anyway, if you are giving away free swimsuits of excellent quality and design and cuteness, you can do anything and still look totally groovy.

  33. But wait! If you sent in your taxes, you’ll soon be getting your economic stimulus check from Uncle Sam. Maybe Antique Daddy and Sean will let you spend their portions as well as your own on reupholstering the sofa, summer shoes etc.

  34. OMGosh, you are hilarious! Friday is just around the corner and with any luck your swim suit will arrive soon and you can show IT to all your friends! 🙂 *hugs*

  35. and one day all you mommies will be Grandmommies… and all this stuff will still be happening. But by then you can blame it on old age and everyone just smiles!

  36. Ummmmm … did you think about pulling your car a wee bit forward until the gas cap was no longer beneath it? I only say this because I probably would have done the same as you, only to realize later, “why didn’t I ….?????” LOL You are so funny!

  37. How funny ~ for us anyway! Oh, I hope your week gets better. We’ve just been busy, busy, busy! Our daughter turns 1 on Monday, and something we want to do for her is to have her dedicated this Sunday (it’s kinda like Christening… Our way of saying that we want to raise Livia – in every way we can – in the light & eyes of Christ.) Her party is on Tuesday, and I’ll all excited for that as well!

    Thanks for the laughs at your expense! I really do hope you hav ra fabulous rest of the week! Much love to you all & God Bless.

    ps – I just wanted to let the winner of the fabulous Lands End swimming suit know that if she for any reason is unable to fulfil her duties as winner, I’ll be more than glad to be considered the ‘runner-up’. KIDDING KIDDING! Congrats to whoever won!

  38. Why is it that you always seem to have these unfortunate accidents with your appearance on Walmart days? Do the fates want you to look like you’re (gasp!) OF the Walmart? NOOOoooooo!!

  39. That cracked me up. It’s good to know other people are out there doing the same kinda things I would do!
    Hope your week improves:)

  40. In the past when I’ve dropped something under my van, I drive my van forward and then get whatever it is that’s under there.

    Luckily, the last time i didn’t cause a traffic jam at the supermarket.

    I don’t know if it would have been a good idea to drive without the gas cap on—but perhaps it wouldn’t have hurt to drive a few feet……….

    Of coure, that wouldn’t have made nearly as funny as a blog story………

  41. {{{hug}}}

    Been there. Last night I decided to indulge in one of the kids’ pudding cups. I cut my tongue licking the lid.

    I’m not even blonde. Hope the week gets better from here!

  42. This did actually make me almost spit out coffee on my computer! I’m trying hard not to laugh out loud in my office so other won’t know I’m not working. I hope your week gets better.

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