At four and a half, Sean is getting to the age where his world is rapidly expanding. Every day, it gets a little more crowded in his world, whereas before, it was just me. I was his whole world. My starring role in his life is drawing nigh. I know that. That’s why I love those times when we are driving in the car. If only for a few miles, it’s just the two of us. Plus, he’s strapped in and can’t get away.
On the way to school on Friday morning, I looked in the rearview mirror at him. He was unusually contemplative. He was looking out the window, but at the same time, seemed to be lost in himself. So I seized the opportunity.
“Sean, I love you so very much. Do you know that?” I asked him.
“Yes, I already know that,” he sighed. “Why do you tell me so much?”
“Well two reasons,” I said.
“First of all I don’t ever want you to forget. And second of all, I need to tell you. My heart just overflows with so much love for you that I have to let some out once in awhile.”
“Your heart must really hold a lot,” he said. “Probably about 15 gallons.”
“For you? Way more than 15 gallons,” I said.
“Do you love me as much water as there is in the ocean?”
“Way more,” I said.
“Oh. Well, you were right then,” he conceded, “That is a lot.”
“Don’t forget that,” I said.
“Okay. You can remind me again tomorrow if you want.”
“You got it,” I said.
Every day. Until my very last day. With my very last breath. I will remind you.
* * *
Other reminders: You are loved, you are wanted, you were longed for, you are a blessing, you delight me, I’m glad I’m your mom, I like you, you are the apple of my eye, you are God’s unique creation, I enjoy your company…