Sean is a perfect husband in training. That is my goal as his mother — that he would grow up to be a good partner and helpmate to some lucky little girl. And by good partner, I mean a man who knows how to cook a few things and put his dirty underwear in the laundry basket without confusing the two. And really ladies, isn’t that all we want in a man?
Okay, no. That’s not all we want, not even close.
So far, Husbandry 101 is going well. Sean can crack eggs, make toast and imaginary soup. And every morning he makes his little bed in his own way, puts his jammies in the laundry basket, dresses himself in mostly matching clothes and then brings me a cup of coffee and the newspaper. Okay, I just made up that last part, but the rest? Pretty good, eh?
Unfortunately, Sean is not yet a discriminating launderer. And here I will put the blame squarely on the Y chromosome, where it belongs. Someone else I know who lives in my house who also has a Y chromosome put someone’s brand new linen walking shorts in the dryer on high heat with the towels. And she wasn’t happy.
At any rate, the other day, when Sean got up and dressed himself, he put his jammies in the laundry basket, but he also put his Pull Up in the laundry basket too.
And I say unfortunately (I said unfortunately two paragraphs ago but understandably, you may have forgotten) because it was only after I was taking the clothes out of the washer and putting them in the dryer that I noticed all these odd little squishy balls of squishy stuff on everything. And at that time, I wondered what exactly is that squishy stuff?
So it seemed well and good to me that this was a job for the dryer because the dryer has more time and patience than I do when it comes to picking a zillion little squishy balls of squishy stuff off a carload of wet laundry. So I just shoved everything in the dryer, made the sign of the cross, slammed the door shut, turned the dryer on and then ran away.
When I came back later to retrieve my clothes from the dryer I found an alpaca in the lint trap.
So, a little science lesson here: Those squishy little balls of squishy stuff in Pulls Ups? Itty bitty freeze dried alpacas. Just add water and heat.