The years I lobbied to be treated as an adult have blown up in my face.
~ Lisa Simpson
I managed to put off adulthood until my mid-40s. Once I was handed that precious bundle of screaming, puking, pooping responsibility joy, my carefree protracted childhood lonely meaningless life came to an end. Adulthood blew up in my face in one big gush of baby blue confetti. And I’ve never been the same since.
The first time that Sean looked up at me with those unfocused drunken eyes of infancy, the weight of the responsibility for his well-being and survival bore down upon me, and for the first time in my life I felt like an adult. And it was terribly frightening. I remember looking into Sean’s tiny face and praying, “Dear God, I’ve managed to screw up a lot of stuff in my life — I guess you already know that — but please let me get this one right.”
Adulthood has meant that I am no longer the center of my own universe. It has sometimes meant cleaning up puke for six straight days, inspecting poop, wielding a rectal thermometer, getting only four non-sequential hours of sleep in any given 24-hour period and existing on a diet of luke warm coffee and left over chicken nuggets.
Yet it is in the servitude of motherhood that I’ve discovered another facet in the prism of my being — a richness and depth of experience that can only be gained from dealing with someone else’s boogers. To love is to serve.
Yes, being an adult has blown up in my face. And I could not be happier.
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I accidentally started this blog three years ago this fourth of July weekend and so in celebration of happy accidents, I present to you this post from October of 2006 which seems to sum up a lot about me and this here blog.