Antique Embarrassment

Sorry Troy

True story.


Back in the early 90s, I attended a taping of a television sports talk show featuring Troy Aikman and some other sports caster type fellows whose names I don’t remember. I know nothing about football and it would not even be possible for me to care less about football than I already do. Yet there I was with Troy and the boys talkin’ football.


For those few of you who know even less about football than I do and need clarification before I go on, Troy Aikman was the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys football team back in the day when Wham was popular.  Don’t ask me what a quarterback is. It’s beyond my scope. 


At any rate, I found myself at the taping of this local television sports show. The set was designed like a sports bar, ala Cheers, with Troy and the sports caster guys sitting at the bar, having a faux few and discussing football like it was foreign policy or something of real importance.  I, along with a number of other people, were seated at small tables like bar patrons, all of whom happen to be eavesdropping on Troy like he was E.F.Hutton.


At one point in the taping, Troy was to look in the camera and read a sentence off the cue card. I don’t remember exactly what the sentence was that he read, but it was something like “And we’ll be right back.”


And so Troy read the sentence, albeit a little stilted, and everyone applauded mightily.


Except for me who involuntarily laughed and said dryly, and apparently a little too loudly, “Oh boy.  He can read.”


And then Troy turned and shot laser beams out of his eyes at me, singeing my eyelashes just a little.


Now, two things here.  I didn’t really mean it the way it came out.  It just struck me odd that we were applauding a college graduate for reading a sentence that any second-grader could read. It simply amused me.


The second thing is that I hadn’t really intended to say that outside of my head. Sometimes there is a mix-up between my tongue and my brain and that happens – the tongue does not get the memo that the message is proprietary, for internal distribution only.  Sometimes my brain threatens to fire my tongue, but the tongue has tenure and so it’s a problem. (See James 3:1-9


So, all that to say, “Sorry Troy. I think you’re swell. And a great reader too.”


It’s never too late to say you’re sorry and just now I really needed to get that off my chest.




36 thoughts on “Sorry Troy

  1. Hey, you never know, your readership base is widespread enough that he might actually even GET your apology sometime! (isn’t it funny how these little things will plague us years, or even decades, later, at 1:27 am?)

  2. Oh, this just happened to me yesterday while shoe shopping… I stopped in a local boutique that normally has the funky type of shoes I was looking for but they were all so- boring! And I said it outloud. Right to the owner- where are all your cute shoes? I didn’t mean it to come out that way. I’m hoping it’s bothering me way more than it bothers him…


  3. First I know that problem well as I go through life offending people with my ‘quiet’ thoughts to myself that come out as if it was broadcasted IN one of Troy’s football arena.

    Second…I went through and stayed in a motel in Troy’s hometown once in the 90’s. Some little town in …. I can’t even remember. Oklahoma or….I don’t know. Anway..the whole town was Troy..Troy..Troy. His name was on everything…up in banners… on school signs out front. Moral of the story….”It’s hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am.”

    No offense, Troy.

  4. The voices in my head speak out freely as well. For example, at a funeral, if someone were to ask me how I was doing, the voices might say, “Well. At least I’m not dead.”

    Amusing only to me, apparently. And the voices.

  5. Oncew at a Women’s Retreat with our church, while sitting and listening to this woman speak who was so “we’re the perfect little family and you should do exactly as we have” I said in my head (I SO thought it was only IN MY HEAD), “She makes me sick.” At which point about 6 people turned to me with eyes and mouths wide open. Fortunately, I wasn’t loud enough for the speaker to hear!!

  6. I’m pretty sure my husband would keel over if he was in the same room as Troy Aikman. He’s such an avid Cowboys fan I can’t stand football season.

  7. I cracked up at Lucy’s comment. I love this blog, you are so insightful A.Mommy…..keep up the great work, you are a blessing to me.

  8. I was a teen during the Cowboy reign of SuperBowldom. I once asked my dad if I could marry Troy when I grew up. He told me that if I could convince Troy Aikman to marry me, I didn’t have to grow up first. He’d sign all the paperwork for me to do it right then and there.

    My mother wasn’t too pleased, but it was the stuff of many a teen girl fantasy for me. 🙂

  9. That is SO something I would say/do! I spend at least half my life apologizing for something that should have been kept inside my head!

    I lived about 5 miles south of Troy, Texas in the early 90’s and, yes, they had the ENTIRE TOWN’S name changed to Troy Aikman, Texas. Bless us all.

  10. Oh my gosh! I’ve done that! (not to Troy Aikman, though)

    It annoys me that I can’t seem to shake it off either!

  11. Once we were driving to New Mexico through lots of small towns,and I was driving carefully to not get a speeding ticket. Well, I was in cruise control keeping my eyes pealed for speed signs telling us to slow down as we were coming to a town, when a police car pulled us over. I said “sorry, officer I didn’t know this was a speed trap.” obviously I meant speed zone. But I said it 2 times. It turned out he stopped me for driving in the left lane which is a passing lane. Sigh. But he didn’t give me a ticket. But my face was red.

  12. Oh, and this happened to me Friday night. I was out with three lady friends and we were walking downtown trying to find a restaurant that was agreeable. We checked out one, and as I turned to them and said, “It’s kind of scummy,” a hostess walked up behind me. I’m SURE she heard me. We scuttled out of there, and I felt horrible. But…it WAS scummy. 🙂

  13. Maybe it was your comment that spurred him to improve. He’s one of my favorite football commentators – and I HATE the Cowboys! So don’t feel bad. Maybe you are the reason he is so good NOW. Try that on for size.

    The black raspberries were ripe when I was in Starnes. VERY delicious.

  14. Yes, I’m a member of the foot in mouth club too. We don’t need shirts cuz within a few minutes everyone in the room already knows about it. Maybe we need meetings or something.

  15. Troy Aikman’s a football player? I thought he was on American Idol. Just goes to show you how much I follow football. (Or American Idol).

    And you can tell him I said that if you ever meet up with him again. Maybe he’ll be so shocked that I don’t know who he is that he’ll forget about your reading comment.

    I have a tendency to do running commentary out loud. Especially in public. My hubby says he’s seen more than one person give me crazy looks because I’m talking to myself in stores. Quirk #548: Talks to self (and inanimate objects) in stores.

  16. I think that is fantastic, since I also don’t care at all about sports and can’t see what all the fuss is about. Why should these guys make millions of dollars for throwing a ball around? Expecting on top of all this to be congratulated for being able to read a simple sentence in English seems to me to be too much. I think you said just what Troy needed to hear!

  17. I’m from Oklahoma and we aren’t all Troy worshippers here. Though he did look pretty cute to me at 13 back when he (briefly) played for OU. And he is a pretty good guy.

  18. Sounds like your tongue got in the way of your eye teeth, so you couldn’t see what you were saying and your mouth spilled some words. That’s how my mother explained the phenomenon.

  19. Just to be clear Marathon Mom – I said I wasn’t a fan of football. I never said I wasn’t a fan of Troy. He’s a cutie and a good guy who gives a lot back to the community. I’ll have to admit I never noticed he had a thick neck, but that’s probably because I was too busy noticing how nicely he filled out his uniform.

  20. Too funny! I often ask “Oops, I said that out loud, didn’t I?” Usually it’s my husband that hears me, maybe someone I’m having a cnversation with, and it’s usually a comment that we’re all thinking but no one is saying. So maybe it’s a public service. I have to remember to use my “inside voice”, the voice that is supposed to be inside my head, not said out loud by my mouth.

  21. This could be the most random, yet awkwardly amusing post I’ve ever read. It reminds me of my everyday life. I am constantly haunted by things my 5 year old says out loud all the time. He doesn’t mean anything by saying, “Mommy, what’s all over his face?” or “Mommy, why is her belly so big? Is she pregnant?”. And by the way, she wasn’t pregnant! With that being said, I would like to apologize the woman who wasn’t pregnant. I’m sorry!

  22. I do that often enough that my husband has a saying for it. “Honey, did you know you’re using the ‘outside the head’ voice?”
    Thanks, dear.

  23. I had the opportunity to be at the Bear Golf Course (I think that was the name)somewhere west of DFW airport several years ago for a “benefit tournament” in which my Company was a sponser. Troy was one of the golfers, as well as several other Dallas Cowboys. We were manning the flag somewhere between hole 1 and 18. Troy was fixing to Tee off, and I spoke what I thought was lightly to one of my friends: “reckon he can hit a golf ball as well as he can throw a football”—–well, needless to say, I interrupted the game and got a few cold hard daggers thrown my way. I never liked golf anyhow, and I am not an armchair quarterback either.
    Give me a fishing pole anyday!

  24. Sympathies. SO often I say something out loud that sounded completely different inside my head. Inside the brain, funny and clever and convincing everyone around me how witty I am. Outside the brain, offensive and mean and convincing everyone around me what a jerk I am.

    By the way, I was a Cowboys fan in the days of Roger Staubach (sp?), which would be early elementary school. By the time Troy Aikman came around? Not so much. I mused out loud one day that my high school friends all thought Troy was soooo cute, and my Dad was aghast.

    “That boy?” he said, “Looks like his face caught on fire and somebody put it out with a fork.”

    Which isn’t actually true, but cracked me up anyway.

  25. HAHA. This tickled me. I used to watch that show, too, AM. I must admit that I am a football fan and was a Troy fan…

    but mainly because I thought he had the prettiest, shiniest lips ever. LOL

  26. The voice in my head apparently came out loudly at an event at church where I asked my husband, “Are they still together?!” My hubs seemed to think that since “they” were standing only 3 feet in front of me, I should have at least whispered.

  27. That is really just too funny. Want to know something weird? I was named after a Dallas Cowboys quarterback. 😉

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