Recent Posts

  • © Antique Mommy 2005-2017
  • All rights reserved.
  • This Post Is Rated PG-48

    August 15, 2008

    If there is one thing I would rather do without my child, besides use the restroom and sleep, it would be go to the grocery store.

    When I’m alone, I kind of like going to the grocery store. It’s kind of relaxing to me. I like to mosey and look at all the food and do character studies of my fellow shoppers. As I’m typing that sentence just now I realize just how incredibly dull I am and why we never get invited to parties. Nonetheless, it is so.

    Anyway, today I had to make a trip to the store for a few things and I had Sean with me. Unfortunately the length of my grocery list was slightly longer than the length of his interest and patience combined.

    So that we might get our shopping done and out of the store without one or the other of us being sent to time out, I allowed him to “drive” the cart – which I knew was a mistake, but I was desperate. And hopeful. Desperate to get my shopping done and hopeful that this might just be the one time he could push the cart without running over my foot or ramming me in the butt with it.

    But no. Of course not.

    After he had run over my foot, sideswiped an electric car lady and then bumped me headlong into a display of pork and beans which I nearly knocked over, I had a strong word with him and told him he was being careless and naughty and it had to stop NOW or he would NEVER push a grocery cart as long as he lived which MIGHT not be very long if he runs over my foot again. And he knows when I start talking in capital letters that I mean business.

    After a few minutes passed and my blood pressure returned to normal, I cleared the air by asking him if he was still my boyfriend.

    “Yeah," he sighed, "I’m your boyfriend – your naughty boyfriend.”

    “No,” I said under my breath, “That would be your father.” (insert dirty old French man laugh).


    1. chickadee@afamiliarpath says:

      did he really say naughty? that’s just hilarious!

      August 15th, 2008 at 1:10 am

    2. Ann at One Bag Nation says:

      oo-la-la! your naughty boyfriend.

      Today my daughter (age 6) told me that she can “contact my mind” to read my thoughts. I don’t doubt it, it would explain a lot . . .

      August 15th, 2008 at 1:31 am

    3. Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife says:

      I am laughing out loud right now! This is a great story!!

      August 15th, 2008 at 1:44 am

    4. Theresa says:

      hahaha.. how funny!

      August 15th, 2008 at 4:39 am

    5. Brigitte says:

      Snicker, snicker! Reminds me of the other day when my 3-year-old daughter had me trying on the high-heels from my closet, including the suede purple FMPs my husband likes me to put on. When I went to take them off, she yells “No, no, no, don’t take them off, leave them on!” Just what my husband would say . . (and I believe a Van Halen song, as well).

      August 15th, 2008 at 5:12 am

    6. k&c's mom says:

      My ankles still tingle in grocery stores. They remember all the times they were slammed by my children “driving” the grocery cart behind me. The kids would remember I was there in front for about 1.4 seconds…and then would be diverted by Captain Crunch. Slam.

      August 15th, 2008 at 7:51 am

    7. JanMary, N Ireland says:


      At least I am not the only sad person who enjoys wandering around supermarkets!

      On our last trip to USA I really enjoyed looking at all the differences between our products. Just 2 words that divide our nations – breakfast cereal!

      August 15th, 2008 at 8:16 am

    8. Marni says:

      I do NOT take my kids to the grocery store if at all possible, which ends up being about 20% of the time, alas.
      Sometimes my kids are great at the store and I get comments on how well-behaved they are. And sometimes my kids are AWFUL in the store and I can’t believe I took them to the grocery store. Why, why, why…did I? Thanks for the laughs!

      August 15th, 2008 at 8:33 am

    9. CircusKelli says:

      LOL – Great story!

      And really, is there a mother on the planet that would rather NOT grocery shop with her children? 😉

      August 15th, 2008 at 8:34 am

    10. Dana says:

      “…when I start talking in capital letters…” Love that!

      August 15th, 2008 at 8:51 am

    11. Amy Nathan says:

      You know that my kids are older — and I sometimes wish I had some company walking through the grocery store but can’t get anyone to come with me. Even if I promise them a donut! 🙁

      August 15th, 2008 at 9:12 am

    12. Kelly @ Wisdom Begun says:

      I do not think I have ever brought my kiddos along while I grocery shopped. I do not particularly care fore grocery shopping, though, so that is usually hubby’s job. He does take the kids, though.

      August 15th, 2008 at 9:15 am

    13. Kelly @ Wisdom Begun says:

      Oh, and that last bit, about the naughty boyfriend. Perfect.

      August 15th, 2008 at 9:15 am

    14. Sally says:

      My 13-year-old still likes to go to the grocery store with me, but that is only because she is afraid I will not get the things she likes if I go by myself!!! But she is also a good helper, because she will get things for me on low shelves that are too hard for me to bend down to reach with my back problems.
      Love the comment about the naughty boyfriend!!! LOL!!!

      August 15th, 2008 at 9:27 am

    15. rrmama says:

      Sop funny! I saw a card in Target just the other day for a husbands birthday. The front said to my husband and my best friend. The inside…and my naughty naughty mattress monkey! I laughed so loud I thought the people on the other side of the store heard me.

      August 15th, 2008 at 9:31 am

    16. Jen E says:

      lmao this cracked me up – from the capitol letters to the “naughty boyfriend” brilliant – as for the liking to grocery shop when alone – oh yeah, same here for sure. It’s almost therapeutic.

      August 15th, 2008 at 9:34 am

    17. Anjali says:

      Oh, yes. Those trips to the grocery store WITHOUT kids are heavenly!

      August 15th, 2008 at 9:52 am

    18. Jenny says:

      Naughty boyfriend… that is hilarious! I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking coffee at the computer this morning! I like to grocery shop alone, too.

      August 15th, 2008 at 9:56 am

    19. Nett says:

      “dirty old French man laugh”. Hilarious!
      “talking in capital letters”. Brilliant!

      I’m going to start saying to my kids, “Do you want me to start talking in capital letters? OK, then. Cut it out!”

      August 15th, 2008 at 10:02 am

    20. amyB says:

      I used to LOVE grocery shopping… Until the prices went through. the. roof. and I actually have to LOOK at the prices now.


      August 15th, 2008 at 10:13 am

    21. Luke Holzmann says:

      Don’t recall which book this was from: A family accidentally left one of the boys at a rest stop on a family trip.

      When they finally realized he was missing, they had to drive a long way back and it was dark when they arrived.

      The father, totally flustered, goes in to look for his son. A girl standing by the door asks, “Hey Mister, you looking for a naughty little girl?”

      Completely engrossed in his search, the man responds, “No, I’m looking for a naughty little boy.”

      …your post reminded me of that. [smile]

      I too will need to start threatening with talking in CAPITAL LETTERS! Love it.


      August 15th, 2008 at 10:23 am

    22. Jen@Balancing Beauty and Bedlam says:

      Those naughty boyfriends, they’ll get you every time if the cart doesn’t first.:)

      August 15th, 2008 at 10:31 am

    23. Common Mom says:


      I love to take the kids (8 and 5) grocery shopping – yes, I just typed that out loud 😉 They love to run up the aisles and get what’s on the list . . . and my little Dude is, um, frugal like his father . . . so he always looks for the best deal (which I’m far too lazy to do!)

      August 15th, 2008 at 10:32 am

    24. JULIE PRICE says:

      Naughty boyfriend . . . cracks me up!

      August 15th, 2008 at 10:58 am

    25. Linda says:

      LOL!!!! Oh my goodness how funny (the naughty boyfriend not that you got run over and bumped)!

      August 15th, 2008 at 11:06 am

    26. Kelly says:

      Funny! I love going to the grocery store alone also. But the ultimate in solo shopping is going to Target by myself…heaven! 🙂

      August 15th, 2008 at 11:11 am

    27. Sue says:

      My children are banned from the grocery store. (Er, not by the store, just by mom.) That’s my me time – I like to take my IPOD and just shuffle around humming. My husband never understands why it takes me an hour and a half to buy $100 worth of groceries. :>

      August 15th, 2008 at 11:13 am

    28. gunky says:

      i was recently teased for being “SUCH a MOM” because food shopping alone was a treat – “me” time, as others said.
      my (childless) friend thought me a sad sight that a “chore” involving food was a treat for me; in her opinion i should be going to the spa (weekly?) or napping in the sun for pleasure.
      my, how we change with children!

      August 15th, 2008 at 11:33 am

    29. Beth B. says:

      that’s hilarious!! i’m with you on the “alone time” at the grocery store. our market has a Starbucks inside it so the ultimate treat for me is a stack of coupons, my starbucks coffee and an hour to peruse the groceries at my leisure. 🙂

      Beth B. (mommy to a busy nearly-5 yr old)

      August 15th, 2008 at 11:54 am

    30. Tracy says:

      Oh, that’s a keeper! Naughty boyfriend…Hilarious! Cracking up at the notion of talking in CAPITAL LETTERS! lol

      August 15th, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    31. Faerylandmom says:

      That is so hilarious! Made my day!

      August 15th, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    32. Shalee says:

      For the record, I would put you on the top of my list for party invites. I find you fun, delightful and the perfect conversationalist. So there.

      I had one of those days with The Boy yesterday. He looked so forlorn after using all my capital letters, I had to ask him if he knew that I really did love him. He sighed a yes, but I’m still debating on his truthfulness…

      August 15th, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    33. happy geek says:

      Moseying through a grocery store isn’t everyone’s idea of a good time? Poor them.

      August 15th, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    34. zoom says:

      I like to mosey through Central Market. Wal Mart, the bain of my existence, not so much. The last time I was there a fudge sickle had melted all over the area where the carts were housed. Nasty. Sticky.

      Wal Mart with a naughty boyfriend might be fun though.

      August 15th, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    35. jen says:

      Ooh la la baby……that was hilarious. What is so sad is that we go to the grocery by ourselves and enjoy the alone time at freakin Walmart!!!!!!!

      August 15th, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    36. Sue @ Praise and Coffee says:

      Oh my goodness, that is so funny!!!!

      Now to return the favor, stop over to my place and read some of Lauren’s adventures today.

      Hope your having a good summer. I’ve been so busy, I’ve missed you.

      August 15th, 2008 at 10:03 pm

    37. Roxanne says:

      Maybe he needs to borrow Sean’s cape. . .and nothing else. 🙂

      August 15th, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    38. Diamond Girl says:

      I give you a nomination for “Patron Saint of Shopping”
      Naughty or Nice a great lead in for the Christmas Season,just a few days away (come September)UGH!!Then we shall say-LetThe Shopping Commence!Yes even in the grocery store.
      Speak in a whisper they(children)hear more of what you have to say, I don’t know why it works but it does!!
      Nothing better than a four year old naughty boyfriend!! Well maybe a_____ (fill in the blank.)

      August 15th, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    39. Qtpies7 says:

      That is great! I love the things kids say! Just today my 18 yo cracked me up! He said “Yesterday I found the least expensive place to get naked.” And he was just so proud of his find. He was talking about the new fruit drink called Naked. LOL I was busting a gut! Apparently getting Naked is sometimes expensive.

      August 15th, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    40. Deanna says:

      Oh, I remember going to the grocery store to ‘get a couple of things’ when Dayna was little. Bill worked nights, so when he came home in the morning I’d ‘run an errand’. I would go up and down every aisle, read every greeting card and go through most of the magazines! lol I’d come home with one or two things and Bill would wonder what took me so long. He finally caught on, though. lol

      August 16th, 2008 at 8:28 am

    41. Sue @ Praise and Coffee says:

      That is so funny!!! I’m posting about some of Lauren’s funnies too.

      Hope you’re having a good summer, mine has been so busy…I’ve missed you!


      August 16th, 2008 at 8:29 am

    42. Jenni says:

      Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!!


      I must say, it’s nice to read about Sean being naughty. Sometimes he seems a little bit perfect. ;o)

      August 16th, 2008 at 10:52 am

    43. Antique Mommy says:

      Oh no Jenni, he’s got too much of his mother in him to be perfect. We have our days when we go round and round. He can be a pill just like any kid, but he’s not a brat and at the core of matters, he’s a good boy.

      August 16th, 2008 at 11:12 am

    44. says:

      “Naughty boyfriend” too funny. Where do kids pick up these things!?

      When my kids were little, I gave my husband an ultimatum when it came to the grocery store and housekeeping. He could either help out, with kids underfoot, or he could take the kids out for the day of father-child bonding, and I’d pleasantly do it all myself. Guess what he picked? It was pure bliss to clean and shop by myself. Pure bliss!

      August 16th, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    45. Kathy says:

      Soo sweet! I loved walking around in the grocery store or the fabric store without my kiddos. Zoning out, just looking at products and colors. Today though, I would like to go back to the grocery store with mine. Just once. Argue over cookies that appear in the cart. Pretend I’m being talked into popsicles. Sigh. I’m missing my little ones who are much too big now. Except they still like cookies when they come home for a visit.

      August 17th, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    Leave a comment