Always Real

Make Mine DeCaf Next Time

Nothing will wake you up faster than a steaming hot cup of coffee.

One morning not too long ago, I lay in my bed not fully awake and not fully asleep. AD had risen before me, an extremely rare occurrence as I am the early bird in the family, and I could hear snippets of conversation coming from the kitchen and a bit of rattling around and other kitchen noises.

This is good I thought to myself. They are in there. And I? Am not. I am here in my nice warm bed. This is good indeed. And so I burrowed deeper into my blanket, hugged my pillow a little tighter and allowed myself to slip back into the cool shadowy lands of slumber.

In what seemed like the very next moment, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and intuition violently roused me from my dark paradise. I sensed danger was afoot. I opened one eye and scanned the room.

And then I saw it coming right at me. I tried to scream “NOOooo!!” but in my sleepy stupor could make no sound.

Sean was stumbling towards me wearing a big happy helpful smile on his face and carrying a cup of scalding hot coffee.

“Here Mommy!” he beamed. “Daddy and I made you some coffee!” And then he lurched forward and thrust the steaming cup towards me.

I bolted upright in my bed. I flinched as I braced myself for the impending pain. In slow motion I reached out in self-defense and grabbed the cup, hoping to lessen the agony if only by one degree. Like a seiche, coffee sloshed from side to side and nearly up and over the edge of the cup, but by the grace of God and some fluke of the laws of nature, every drop stayed in the cup.

I sat up in my bed, clutching the cup of coffee with one hand and my racing heart with the other. I was wide awake. NOW. And I hadn’t even had one sip.

Nothing will wake you up faster than a steaming hot cup of coffee — delivered by an eager four-year-old.

* * *

Mother’s intuition — A 6th sense that protects your child, but apparently also protects you from your child. AD does not have this intuition.  He has been head-butted in a sensitive area a number of times by our precious off spring who it seems may or may not be trying to kill us.

 

27 thoughts on “Make Mine DeCaf Next Time

  1. Nice intuition skills. I’ve always drank ice cold Pepsi in the morning….although I’m thinking of finally trying my first cup of coffee now that I’m turning 50 soon.

  2. Hee hee Theresa, I do the soda instead of coffee too. AM, you exhibited an almost cat-like instinct for sensing young persons in your vicinity, uncanny!

  3. I had a mug of hot tea delivered to me by a tweenager who hadn’t quite grown into her feet once! Unfortunately, not all of the contents stayed in the mug! I’ve since developed a taste for iced tea or Diet Pepsi for my morning beverage!!!

  4. I kept thinking “Isn’t that just like a dad, to send in the 4 year old with dangerously hot coffee?!” We LOVE’em. Yes, we do!

  5. That was priceless. Hubs knows the head butting all to well. At least once a week the youngest son will use him as his personal jungle gym. Good thing two is all we ever wanted.

  6. **gasp!** …Bwwwahhahahahah! (Warn a girl before you drop a post like that! I was taking a big drink of MY steaming hot cup of coffee!)

    LOL

    WHY are children so eager to help? …but only when you really don’t WANT the help and not when you really NEED it???

    Traci

  7. AHHHH!
    All three of my kids have been TERRIFIED about carrying anything hot by my mother, who still bears a terrifying scald scar all down her chest from a childhood soup accident. And this is a good thing, since they spill beverages on me CONSTANTLY – I shudder to think what would happen if they carried hot things.

  8. am I the only one who had to google “seiche”
    Thanks AM, for a rousing story and my new vocabulary word.

    Mrs N

    sooo thankful Mr N never went in for the whole “breakfast in bed” shtick

  9. I think they ARE trying to kill us. I’m glad I’m not the only one. One of my favorite quotes says that raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens. Consider your wake-up coffee to be just another peck, peck, peck!!

  10. It’s funny how God gives us that bit of survival mode. That and some great cleaners to clean the carpet for when the coffee does slosh over the side.

    But I bet that coffee never tasted so good coming from the hands of your boy… Don’t worry. They get better in time.

  11. Oh look at her form! This is going to be tough… but… ahhhhhhhhh… SHE DOES IT! The crowd is going crazy.

    She really should get a good score on this one. At least a 9.8. Yes, the judges should give her high marks… and THEY DO.

    She will take the gold without a doubt.

    Sorry, I still have Olympics on the brain. And I was just so darn proud of your moves!

  12. This is so funny and brings back to mind some of the many occasions over the years when my kids have tried to “help”. Like pouring an entire bottle of bleach on the carpet to “help” clean up a spot of spilled drink. Or, how about making me a bubble bath with the whole bottle of bubble bath resulting in bubbles following her screaming in tears down the hallway..
    You just gota love em Mom and I know that you do!!
    Bless you,

  13. oh wow! if it had been me and my luck, i would have been drenched in steaming coffee!! haha!

    how did sean get permission from AD to carry the hot coffee to you???

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