Antique Embarrassment

Door Dork

Last week, I took a break from my adventures in home improvement to make a quick trip to Target.  My theory was that browsing the dollar bins would relieve the pain that I had in my neck from standing on a ladder and painting the ceiling. 

I approached the automatic doors to the building fully expecting them to open as they usually do.  In fact, I nearly walked head first into the doors when they didn’t open.  So I stood there waiting for them to open trying to figure out what the problem was with the doors.  And then I kind of stomped my foot a little, slightly put out that the doors weren’t working and that I might have to go to the trouble to walk three feet to the left and go in through the other doors when I was already standing in front of these doors desperately needing dollar bin relief for my neck. 

Then a Target employee came outside and opened the door for me. I wasn’t standing in front of the automatic doors. I was standing front of the regular doors. 

I twisted my brain trying to think up a face-saving excuse to offer the Target employee: 

“The guy who usually opens doors for me? He’s out sick today.” 

“My seeing eye dog is at the vet.” 

“When did they move the automatic doors?” 

“Thanks a lot. I was trying to open those doors with my mind and you just messed me up!” 

“I’m a mime. That was Act I.” 

Nothing plausible came to mind, so I just said, “Oh. Thanks.”

* * * * *

Have to add these funny ones Tom left in comments; they cracked me up:

“Took you long enough!”
“And now, you may push my cart.”
“At Piggly Wiggly, you have to say a magic word.”

38 thoughts on “Door Dork

  1. Proof that God approves of blogging: He allows us to have experiences like the one you describe! 🙂

    Reminds me of the time I walked smack into a plate glass window once, knocking myself unconscious and leaving a trail of blood from my nose all the way down the glass. Yep. I know how to make an entrance.

  2. Bwa ha ha haa! I love to read your “very special” stories, it lets me know I’m not the lone dork out there.

  3. Oh, my! So completely something I would do! Glad to know I’m not alone in my dorkiness. We should start a club.

  4. We’ve faced a similar challenge — glad that my husband was with me to enjoy the moment. It’s really embarrassing for a door to win out over 2 people at the same time!

  5. You know what? Because of stories like yours, no one should ever be embarrassed again. Just think of AM and LOL.

  6. I have found myself stomping on the floor in front of automatic doors and all of a sudden it will hit me . . . why don’t I just reach out and open the door? Funny how our mind goes blank when something as simple as an unoperable door presents itself — and yet we are entrusted with raising children : )
    Thanks for the laugh!

  7. Been there, done that, and with kids in the buggy, no less!

    It’s even more fun when you ARE going through the automatic doors (with said kids and purchases in the buggy) and THEY DON’T OPEN!! That one hurt…

  8. Thank you. I needed that. Hubby got a knee replaced 2 weeks ago and I know fried brain!!! All is getting better but wow the people who trace in and out of the home when you have an invalid. I don’t mean visitors I mean medical people. All of whom we NEED.

    Oh, Hubby is doing great. We went 2 hrs up and 2 hrs home yesteray to the doctor. 2 more weeks and maybe we can loose those TED HOSE and the walker. The ted hose are a PAIN! Glad I don’t have to wear them.


  9. My 16 year old son walked face first into our glass screen door yesterday. We never leave it open so I guess I shouldn’t place ALL our hopes and dreams in him! lol

  10. Your story reminds me of the Far Side cartoon where the kid is trying to enter the school for the gifted and is pushing on the door with all his might. The door clearly reads “pull”.

    Too funny! Glad I’m not the only one.

  11. Oh nooo! I had a similar situation once with automatic doors at a 24 hour grocery store, except no employee came to my rescue. Who knew they turn off one set of doors after midnight? How embarrassing!

  12. Thank you for the laugh. My son just stared at me like I lost my mind and kept saying “what mom, what?” which made me laugh more, (at him)

  13. Haha! I’ve done that before too at Target.

    Don’t you just love the dollar bins? I can always find something that I or, more recently, my unborn baby girl just *have* to have! Even if it’s something that my baby won’t use or play with for the next two years.

  14. Somehow it’s comforting to think that with all the problems in this world, some days the biggest problem is getting a door to work! We’ve all been there and survived and now we are laughing at (or with?) you. Maybe things aren’t so bleak after all. I think we’ll make it.

  15. No no no, you’ve got it all wrong. They sneakily changed the doors round in the night, and are laughing at all the customers as they arrive. You were probably filmed on secret camera, for some tv show or other.

  16. “Took you long enough!”
    “And now, you may push my cart.”
    “At Piggly Wiggly, you have to say a magic word.”

  17. That’s just as bad as trying to return The Girl’s pants that I thought had shrunk in the wash only to realize as (in front of the customer service employee) that they belonged to The Boy.

    No $1 bin for me that day. It was directly in front of customer service and I just wanted to leave in my disgrace…

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