When Sean was somewhere around three, he discovered Lightning McQueen. I’m not really sure how that happened. I think someone gave him the DVD for his birthday and on a long car trip we pulled it out, out of desperation, and after that there was no turning back. His world became all Lightning McQueen all the time. Ka-chow! Which roughly translates to Cha-ching!
We have since invested untold millions into Lightning McQueen. Okay not millions, but untold dollars. More dollars than I care to consider at the moment. And I’ll be honest here, I’m to blame. It seemed safer than investing in the stock market and it turns out I was right. Whereas the stock market took our money away, thanks to my savvy investing skills, we now have a fine collection of Lightning McQueen die cast cars.
The truth is I became addicted to seeing Sean’s eyes light up every time I brought home one of those little Lightning McQueen die cast cars. And then every time I went to the grocery store, I would check to see if there were any new ones, sqealing with delight if there were and lamenting if there were not. I’ve even trolled eBay looking for Darrell Cartrip. “Someone” recently suggested that maybe the cars aren’t really for Sean, that maaaaybe I’m really collecting them for myself. To that I say, “PROVE IT! Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!”
In addition to the die cast cars, we’ve also “invested” in Lightning McQueen clothes, backpack, lunchbox, shoes, socks and undies – and on and on. So then, Sean goes off to school every day carrying a Lightning McQueen backpack and lunch box and occasionally wearing a shirt bearing the image of Lightening McQueen.
A week or so ago, as Sean was getting dressed for school, I suggested that he wear a certain Lightning McQueen sweatshirt since the weather had turned chilly.
“No.” he said firmly.
“No?” I asked, surprised. “Why not?”
And then like a copy writer for J. Peterman, I proceeded to try to sell him on the sweatshirt pointing out its stylish yet rugged features, constructed of an uncommonly luxurious polyblend with superior stitching, ribbed cuffs and collar for uncompromising comfort, spirited handsome styling at home on both the playground and the lunchroom…
But I could not overcome his objection of “Because I don’t feel like it.”
Something didn’t add up, so I pressed him a little bit more.
“I’m off Lightning McQueen! OK?! ” he finally confessed with an exasperated sigh.
R-R-R-R-R-rrrttt! (Cue sound of screeching breaks)
What? (breathy gasp of disbelief) Off Lightning McQueen? OFF?
“The boys at school say that Lightning McQueen is for bay-beeez!” And then he scrunched up his face in disgust because when you are five there is nothing worse than being called a baaaay-beee.
Well that’s just great. My investment in Lightning McQueen tanked due the whims of a few pre-schoolers.
I supposed if the government isn’t going to exact restitution from the AIG execs, I can’t expect any help recovering damages from a bunch of five-year-olds either.