Wal-Mart

The Birds

So every trip to Walmart, there is always some drama unfolding somewhere.  Walmart is perpetual interactive theater, 24-hours a day, seven days a week, with a cast of thousands. Yesterday, it all unfolded before I even set foot in the store. I pulled into the parking lot and headed up my usual row and just as I’m about to pull into my space, I see something kind of weird on the ground. So I slow down and take a closer look.  A big bird of some sort, maybe a falcon, has another bird pinned to the…

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Faith

Joy Crosses The Placenta

A couple of times a month, I’ll get an email from someone like myself, that is to say, someone of advanced maternal age. Antique. The writer is in her late 30s or early 40s and is pregnant for the first time and she is scared.  She wants to know if I was scared to be pregnant in my mid-40s and if so, how did I deal with it. Experiencing pregnancy for the first time in the fourth decade of life is thrilling, and if you read too many books, terrifying.  So I did not read too…

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Cooking and Recipes

Life Lessons In Baking

When the going gets tough, the not-so-tough start baking. Sometimes when I’m having one of those booty kickin’ days with my kid, I lay down my aggravations and we bake bread. On Tuesday of this week, the schools were closed.  By 10am booty kickin’ was well underway, so I suggested we make bread. I know it sounds crazy that one would open up a canister of flour around someone with under-developed judgment and impulse control and over-developed enthusiasm. And sometimes Sean is a problem too. (Stop it. I can hear you rolling your eyes.)  But in…

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Silliness

The Resume

I like words and toying with words and the arrangement of words.  So the other day, a friend of mine who knows I like words, asked me to help him polish his resume. I always find resume writing to be a challenge because there is a fine line between detailing the many fabulous things you can do and how astonishing well you can do them and how the world has benefited from your existence — and coming off like a desperate, yet pompous delusional braggart. I guess that is to say that on paper, humility is…

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Silliness

Just In Time For Valentines Day

So then, the other day I was chatting with the friendly folks at American Greetings PhotoWorks and I mentioned to them that you all like free stuff. And they said, “Oh really?  Because sometimes we like to give away free stuff.”  And then I said, “Oh really?  Like how much?” And then they said, “Well, how about $50 of free stuff?” And then I said, “That would be great, because as it turns out, my readers like free $50 stuff.”  I drive a hard bargain. I think most you are familiar with American Greetings – cards…

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Antique Junk Drawer

Miscellany

Warning: Pointless and unrelated drivel ensues. It’s Friday, y’all. Good gravy, another week of life down the drain. How does that happen so quickly? I am positive that when I was in Sister Luke’s 5th grade class, that one day time actually stood still.  During long division class time did not advance one minute for three solid hours.  It’s documented somewhere in the annals of St. Cabrini history. Speaking of St. Cabrini, I am reminded of this:  Back in the summer of 2004 (which seems like it should be last year), my 8th grade class got…

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Antique Daddy, Silliness

We All Have Our Own Gifts

I have the most awesome husband on the planet. He amazes me with the things he knows how to do, that I don’t know how to do. Like make money.  Money making is not my gift. Spending it is. Dude has a computer in his head where he can take any situation and put it on a mental spread sheet and calculate detailed plans with predictive outcomes along with mapping algorithms, sequencing strategies and data convergence points.  I don’t know what that means.  Sometimes I hear him say those words on the phone, so I just…

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School

No School, But Still A Lesson

Did you know that yesterday was a holiday? And that there was NO school? Well, I didn’t. Until I showed up at Jennifer’s house to pick up her child to take to school. After I rang her doorbell several times, she opened the door in pretty PJs and her hair all (sigh) askew in a really cute and fabulous way and  looked at me like I was from Mars (where school is in session!) Yes, it was on my calendar in big black Sharpie letters – NO SCHOOL! – but I seem to have trouble operating…

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Cooking and Recipes

The Next New Cooking Show

The other night, as I was flipping through the channels before giving it up to the sandman, I happened to come across this show on the Food Network called The Ultimate Recipe Showdown.  It was so fascinating I couldn’t turn away. It seems that they take four average people who like to cook and they each make their own unique version of a given dish, like a hamburger, and they have to make it in 30 minutes.  Three professional foodies,  chefs or food editor type people, provide useless play-by-play commentary as they closely watch the competitors…

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Faith, Reruns and Leftovers

Looking For My Box

Why is it that churches need to put people in boxes? When Jesus spoke to and fed the crowd of 5,000, did he organize them into Youth, Singles, Young Professionals, Young Marrieds, Young Families, Pacesetters and Widowed and Divorced? There’s a verse in Scripture that compares the body of the church to that of the human body, where all parts do their own thing but contribute to the wellness of the whole.  In our current church culture, generally all the Toes meet in room B3 and the Fingers meet in B4, neither benefiting from the wisdom…

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