Comments on: Joy Crosses The Placenta http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/ Sun, 14 Mar 2010 05:56:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: mama speak http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46753 mama speak Tue, 10 Feb 2009 08:56:55 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46753 It kills me to hear "I married late, at age 31" or something. I got married at age 32 and wondered if I was too young, so there you go.One of my best friends, J got married at age 20 (we're a month apart age-wise) and her kids are in high school now, mine are 5 and 2 and I just turned 40. When I tell my local friends about J's kids they're shocked to hear her kids are so old. But her marriage & pregnancies were planned. I guess a lot has to do w/where you grow up. I was raised & still live in Silicon Valley. We (women) worked very hard to get our educations and want to make sure we've established ourselves before we start a family. My whole neighborhood is full of SAHMs w/grad degrees, but we wouldn't change a thing. Most of us have toddlers and we're in our early 40s. Having the experiences we've had, we know that this is exactly where we belong. When pg at 34 w/my 1st I got my AFP screening back as high risk. I got this news on a Friday night via a phone message that said, "Please leave your phone # w/the dr exchange so she can call you from her home. She wants to talk to you tonight!" By the time she called me back it wouldn't have mattered what she said I was a wreck. After lots of drama we discussed what difference it made for us. My husband works in genetics and probably know too much w/out talking to Dr. Google. We determined that we would not bring a child into this world so that it could suffer for a few hours/days/weeks/months and die painfully. (I know some of your readers won't like that, but I'm being honest & I'm not sure I could've gone through w/it knowing what I know now. But that's what we decided.) So, did it change anything? No, it didn't. Would be love this child any less? No we wouldn't. Knowing that, do we need an amnio? Yes, because if this child had issues than we wanted to give this child the best care possible from as early as possible. That meant being as prepared as possible to deal with whatever it was from the second our child was born. It also would allow us to mourn our idea of the "perfect" child that would not be coming, so that when this child "our perfect child" did arrive it would be a joyous occasion as it should be. The amino was actually a very fun event, as the US tech was a dr from another country and upon realizing we had some med knowledge was showing us individual fingers, toes, heart valves, etc...Our "perfect" baby girl turns 6 in May. I know some of my comments in here won't sit well w/all your readers, and I'm sorry for that. But I did want to be as honest as possible about it. I had a 2nd baby in 2006, at age 37. We signed up for the amnio from the beginning. She is also fine. "A bundle of energy," in fact. She's the reason I'm done having kids. If I get another "bundle" like her I won't make it to see them graduate from high school. ;-) I'm happily exhausted. It kills me to hear “I married late, at age 31″ or something. I got married at age 32 and wondered if I was too young, so there you go.One of my best friends, J got married at age 20 (we’re a month apart age-wise) and her kids are in high school now, mine are 5 and 2 and I just turned 40. When I tell my local friends about J’s kids they’re shocked to hear her kids are so old. But her marriage & pregnancies were planned. I guess a lot has to do w/where you grow up. I was raised & still live in Silicon Valley. We (women) worked very hard to get our educations and want to make sure we’ve established ourselves before we start a family. My whole neighborhood is full of SAHMs w/grad degrees, but we wouldn’t change a thing. Most of us have toddlers and we’re in our early 40s. Having the experiences we’ve had, we know that this is exactly where we belong.

When pg at 34 w/my 1st I got my AFP screening back as high risk. I got this news on a Friday night via a phone message that said, “Please leave your phone # w/the dr exchange so she can call you from her home. She wants to talk to you tonight!” By the time she called me back it wouldn’t have mattered what she said I was a wreck. After lots of drama we discussed what difference it made for us. My husband works in genetics and probably know too much w/out talking to Dr. Google. We determined that we would not bring a child into this world so that it could suffer for a few hours/days/weeks/months and die painfully. (I know some of your readers won’t like that, but I’m being honest & I’m not sure I could’ve gone through w/it knowing what I know now. But that’s what we decided.) So, did it change anything? No, it didn’t. Would be love this child any less? No we wouldn’t. Knowing that, do we need an amnio? Yes, because if this child had issues than we wanted to give this child the best care possible from as early as possible. That meant being as prepared as possible to deal with whatever it was from the second our child was born. It also would allow us to mourn our idea of the “perfect” child that would not be coming, so that when this child “our perfect child” did arrive it would be a joyous occasion as it should be.

The amino was actually a very fun event, as the US tech was a dr from another country and upon realizing we had some med knowledge was showing us individual fingers, toes, heart valves, etc…Our “perfect” baby girl turns 6 in May.

I know some of my comments in here won’t sit well w/all your readers, and I’m sorry for that. But I did want to be as honest as possible about it.

I had a 2nd baby in 2006, at age 37. We signed up for the amnio from the beginning. She is also fine. “A bundle of energy,” in fact. She’s the reason I’m done having kids. If I get another “bundle” like her I won’t make it to see them graduate from high school. ;-) I’m happily exhausted.

]]> By: MomsReality http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46673 MomsReality Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:30:24 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46673 Thanks so much for this post and for all the comments. This is my 2nd pregnancy (since my 1st born is 9 it feels all new to me!) and as a later-in-life mommy I've had all the old worries but magnified it seems. I'm going to follow your advice to quit the worrying and just enjoy this time. And stop watching the baby medical shows. I know, I know - what was I thinking?! Thanks so much for this post and for all the comments. This is my 2nd pregnancy (since my 1st born is 9 it feels all new to me!) and as a later-in-life mommy I’ve had all the old worries but magnified it seems.

I’m going to follow your advice to quit the worrying and just enjoy this time. And stop watching the baby medical shows. I know, I know – what was I thinking?!

]]> By: Jill http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46544 Jill Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:45:33 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46544 I was 38 when I got pregnant, 39 when I had my sweet son. In my mind I was not "later in life", but according to the doctors I was. So I skipped all those blood tests and went straight to the amnio, just to be prepared for whatever God had given us. All was fine, thankfully. And the only "parenting" book I've read is "What to Expect When You're Expecting." No potty training books, no books on the strong willed child (what child isn't?), no books on to spank or not. No books on pureeing vegetables or teaching sign language. I figure ignorance is bliss, I guess. I was 38 when I got pregnant, 39 when I had my sweet son. In my mind I was not “later in life”, but according to the doctors I was. So I skipped all those blood tests and went straight to the amnio, just to be prepared for whatever God had given us. All was fine, thankfully. And the only “parenting” book I’ve read is “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” No potty training books, no books on the strong willed child (what child isn’t?), no books on to spank or not. No books on pureeing vegetables or teaching sign language. I figure ignorance is bliss, I guess.

]]> By: Tanya http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46537 Tanya Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:54:58 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46537 God's hands ... and only God's hands gave me babies at almost 48 years old. Yes, he guided the hands of the Doctors, and I delivered triplets after 4 devastating miscarriages. Now I'm Mom again, almost 52, and life couldn't be better. My youngest of four was twenty years old when Sam, Jay and Meg were born. Even though I was too sick to read books, I wouldn't have anyway. I knew from the moment I found out that there were three that he would protect them and me and all would be well. Not only is God good ... he has a amazing sense of humor. I was pregnant with my daughter and daughter in law .. who delivered shortly before me. Sense of humor? Yes ... we have six "4 year old's" and a one year old. Somedays I don't know if I'm Mommy or Grandma! Joy definitely crosses the placenta! Tanya God’s hands … and only God’s hands gave me babies at almost 48 years old. Yes, he guided the hands of the Doctors, and I delivered triplets after 4 devastating miscarriages. Now I’m Mom again, almost 52, and life couldn’t be better. My youngest of four was twenty years old when Sam, Jay and Meg were born.

Even though I was too sick to read books, I wouldn’t have anyway. I knew from the moment I found out that there were three that he would protect them and me and all would be well.

Not only is God good … he has a amazing sense of humor. I was pregnant with my daughter and daughter in law .. who delivered shortly before me.

Sense of humor? Yes … we have six “4 year old’s” and a one year old. Somedays I don’t know if I’m Mommy or Grandma!

Joy definitely crosses the placenta!

Tanya

]]> By: Laura http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46508 Laura Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:10:18 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46508 I'm 40 and have a 6 year old and a 6.5 month old. This carries on a family tradition as my mom was 45 when she had me, which just wasn't done back in the late '60s. In fact, they didn't even tell anyone they were pregnant, although, of course, eventually, it became obvious! I wasn't worried at 34 with out first, nor was I really worried at age 38 when we got pregnant (easily) a second time. Then I miscarried. Then again. The doctor chalked it up to "old eggs" - so reassuring! (On a humorous note, this totally offended my mom - "Did you TELL her how old I was when I had you?!") So this last time, I worried pretty much the entire pregnancy. And, of course, everything was fine, and we have a second beautiful baby boy. Who would be more beautiful if he decided to sleep a little more at night. AM, I've been lurking a lot without commenting, but truly appreciate your blog, and am glad to be in the company of other vintage moms. I’m 40 and have a 6 year old and a 6.5 month old. This carries on a family tradition as my mom was 45 when she had me, which just wasn’t done back in the late ’60s. In fact, they didn’t even tell anyone they were pregnant, although, of course, eventually, it became obvious!

I wasn’t worried at 34 with out first, nor was I really worried at age 38 when we got pregnant (easily) a second time. Then I miscarried. Then again. The doctor chalked it up to “old eggs” – so reassuring! (On a humorous note, this totally offended my mom – “Did you TELL her how old I was when I had you?!”) So this last time, I worried pretty much the entire pregnancy. And, of course, everything was fine, and we have a second beautiful baby boy. Who would be more beautiful if he decided to sleep a little more at night.

AM, I’ve been lurking a lot without commenting, but truly appreciate your blog, and am glad to be in the company of other vintage moms.

]]> By: Jenni http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46500 Jenni Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:54:12 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46500 AM, you're such an amazing writer. I just stand in awe. I had my last baby right before I turned 40, but as I had eleven babies before him, I guess you could say my attitude was already pretty well fixed at "He's (God's) got it covered". Having a few miscarriages humbles and destroys any ideas that you are in charge of the reproductive process, so I was ever-mindful to be joyful for every kick and flutter. Thank you for the blessing of your blog. Jenni AM, you’re such an amazing writer. I just stand in awe.

I had my last baby right before I turned 40, but as I had eleven babies before him, I guess you could say my attitude was already pretty well fixed at “He’s (God’s) got it covered”. Having a few miscarriages humbles and destroys any ideas that you are in charge of the reproductive process, so I was ever-mindful to be joyful for every kick and flutter.

Thank you for the blessing of your blog.

Jenni

]]> By: Cee http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46496 Cee Sun, 01 Feb 2009 19:15:29 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46496 I got married when I was in my early 40s (after a courtship of 10 years!) and was pregnant 3 months later without planning it. I never thought I was too old to have a baby then and the pregnancy was easy and actually fun and my son is very healthy. The only time I've been nervous in hindsight is when I see some article or show about what could go wrong in pregnancy in general and particularly for an older mom. Strange thing was that I got pregnant that first time without trying and then a couple of years later when I actually was trying to get pregnant, I didn't. So I'm very thankful for my son! He's the light of my life. I got married when I was in my early 40s (after a courtship of 10 years!) and was pregnant 3 months later without planning it. I never thought I was too old to have a baby then and the pregnancy was easy and actually fun and my son is very healthy.

The only time I’ve been nervous in hindsight is when I see some article or show about what could go wrong in pregnancy in general and particularly for an older mom.

Strange thing was that I got pregnant that first time without trying and then a couple of years later when I actually was trying to get pregnant, I didn’t. So I’m very thankful for my son! He’s the light of my life.

]]> By: Jenni D. http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46495 Jenni D. Sun, 01 Feb 2009 18:32:08 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46495 When I turned 40, DH and I decided to see what God wanted for us. We already had a 3 kids and were wishy-washy about having a 4th: Some days it seemed like a great idea, other days, the idea made me think I'd have to take up smoking crack. When I got pregnant after a couple of months, I was joyous and thankful. Then I miscarried and figured God was showing me that he really does giveth and taketh away. So. I figured no fourth baby and that's fine and look at these 3 we've got, we're blessed and why would I want more chaos anyway. You know what's coming. I got pregnant (with my husband's baby) while he was out of the country. Seems I forgot that health lesson about how the sperm can stick around for a couple of days looking for an egg, any egg, to call home. Cut to now. We have a beautiful 5 month old girl and she rocks our world. I was tempted to worry while I was pregnant with her. It seemed that everywhere I went and in every book or magazine I read, there was someone with Down's Syndrome. But I figured-- God got this baby in there with no calculating on my part. He knows who is there and He knows who we need and He will provide us with just what we need. Faith helps a bunch. But worrying is wasting energy and joy. Babies are miracles, plain and simple. Why not enjoy getting to be part of one. You will loooooove that baby, no matter who it is! When I turned 40, DH and I decided to see what God wanted for us. We already had a 3 kids and were wishy-washy about having a 4th: Some days it seemed like a great idea, other days, the idea made me think I’d have to take up smoking crack. When I got pregnant after a couple of months, I was joyous and thankful. Then I miscarried and figured God was showing me that he really does giveth and taketh away. So. I figured no fourth baby and that’s fine and look at these 3 we’ve got, we’re blessed and why would I want more chaos anyway. You know what’s coming. I got pregnant (with my husband’s baby) while he was out of the country. Seems I forgot that health lesson about how the sperm can stick around for a couple of days looking for an egg, any egg, to call home. Cut to now. We have a beautiful 5 month old girl and she rocks our world. I was tempted to worry while I was pregnant with her. It seemed that everywhere I went and in every book or magazine I read, there was someone with Down’s Syndrome. But I figured– God got this baby in there with no calculating on my part. He knows who is there and He knows who we need and He will provide us with just what we need.
Faith helps a bunch. But worrying is wasting energy and joy. Babies are miracles, plain and simple. Why not enjoy getting to be part of one. You will loooooove that baby, no matter who it is!

]]> By: Faerylandmom http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46492 Faerylandmom Sun, 01 Feb 2009 16:05:46 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46492 I am definitely not an antique mommy, so I can't add anything here. Just appreciation for such honesty and such a beautiful testimony to the amazing grace of God! There are a few books out there that aren't fear-based. I could recommend a couple of books chock-full of positive, uplifting birth stories that are fun <i>and</i> informative. :-) I am definitely not an antique mommy, so I can’t add anything here. Just appreciation for such honesty and such a beautiful testimony to the amazing grace of God!

There are a few books out there that aren’t fear-based. I could recommend a couple of books chock-full of positive, uplifting birth stories that are fun and informative. :-)

]]> By: MB http://antiquemommy.com/2009/01/30/joy-crosses-the-placenta/comment-page-1/#comment-46490 MB Sun, 01 Feb 2009 07:07:18 +0000 http://antiquemommy.com/?p=3992#comment-46490 I married late in life, at age 32. We hoped to start a family right away, but years passed without success. We sought out help, and underwent all the testing/procedures/etc. with "unexplained infertility" as our label. We did not give up, but sought out all the fertility assistance available. After many years, (and many tears) we finally had success through the procedure of IVF. I was 37 when our beautiful son arrived. Needless to say, we were thrilled beyond words!!! Well, our story does not end there.... We were blessed with a little girl when I was 41. This time we had no assistance from the medical side, but saw her as a gift from God. We were so thankful for this unexpected bonus. Then, we experienced our biggest shock to discover that I am expecting #3 at age 44! I only have 4 weeks to go until our little one arrives, and have been in awe that I am pregnant again at this age. I really never dreamed that this could be possible with our history of "unexplained infertility", but it is a reality and we are looking forward to the joy of having another child. Each little life is a gift. It matters not what age we may be...God works on his own timetable and his ways are much higher than ours. I married late in life, at age 32. We hoped to start a family right away, but years passed without success. We sought out help, and underwent all the testing/procedures/etc. with “unexplained infertility” as our label. We did not give up, but sought out all the fertility assistance available. After many years, (and many tears) we finally had success through the procedure of IVF. I was 37 when our beautiful son arrived. Needless to say, we were thrilled beyond words!!!
Well, our story does not end there…. We were blessed with a little girl when I was 41. This time we had no assistance from the medical side, but saw her as a gift from God. We were so thankful for this unexpected bonus.
Then, we experienced our biggest shock to discover that I am expecting #3 at age 44! I only have 4 weeks to go until our little one arrives, and have been in awe that I am pregnant again at this age. I really never dreamed that this could be possible with our history of “unexplained infertility”, but it is a reality and we are looking forward to the joy of having another child. Each little life is a gift. It matters not what age we may be…God works on his own timetable and his ways are much higher than ours.

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