Antique Junk Drawer

No Go On To-Go

Last Friday I had lunch with some friends at a Mexican restaurant. I ordered the spinach quesadillas and they were delicious, but I could only eat about half of them, so I had the waiter box up the rest to take home. Today, around lunch time, it occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten those spinach quesadillas.  So I worked the inside of our overburdened fridge like one of those slide puzzles looking for those quesadillas.  But they were not to be found. “That’s weird,” I thought. “I distinctly remember leaving the restaurant with them and…

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Reruns and Leftovers

Goose Eggs With A Side of Synthroid

I don’t know what it says about me that two of the most popular search terms used to get this site are “child has goose egg on head” and “synthroid overdose”.  I thought I’d save the world wide web the trouble today and put this all-inclusive post right up at the top. It was originally published in April of 2007. * * * Two of the worst things that have ever happened to my child have happened when he was sitting on my kitchen counter and I was standing less than one foot away from him.…

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Always Real, Modern Medicine

The Hospital Volunteer

Last week I had to go see one of my many doctors for a yearly check up so that he would continue to prescribe the pharmaceuticals of which I am so fond. He has an office in one of the large local hospitals and as I walked through the maze of halls that snake through a small city of professional buildings, I was struck by the fact that everyone I passed was dealing with some sort of medical drama, either for themselves or someone they love.  And as I looked into the faces of the people…

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Minnie, It’s Time To Move On

Sometimes I let Sean watch The Mickey Mouse Club House to occupy him while I’m getting dressed or trying to get something done. Yesterday morning, while I was getting dressed for church, he turned and asked me if Mickey and Minnie were married. No, I told him, I thought they were just dating. Then I started thinking about it. They’ve been dating since 1928.  Someone needs to step up and be Minnie’s friend and tell it to her straight. * * * Dear Minnie – I know that you love him. He’s cute and he’s funny. …

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Always Real, Faith


This morning in church, we welcomed one of our congregation’s soldiers home from overseas.  Everyone stood and applauded to honor him.  What a joyous occasion it is when one of our soldiers returns safely home!  I am a big patriotic dork, but these kinds of things always bring tears up out of my crusty old heart to sting my wrinkly old eyes. I can’t put my child to bed without thinking about all the soldiers overseas who do not get to tuck their babies into bed at night. Many of them are missing out on entire…

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School, Snips And Snails


For the better part of the school year, I have been sending Sean to school with a “lunch box” joke. I write a lame little joke on an index card (and by lame I mean suitable for 5-year-olds) and I put it in his lunch box and then the teacher reads the joke to the class during lunch. And hilarity ensues. One day I forgot to send the lunch box joke and I was met in the car pool line by a crowd of angry five-year-olds and threatened with a plastic spoon. No not really, but…

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Reruns and Leftovers

Pathetically Uncool On All Levels

I’m at Red Lobster. On a Friday night. At 5pm. I am wearing the same Wal-Mart workout clothes that I put on at 7am that morning. But I never got around to working out. I look down and notice my shirt is on inside out. I am drinking a glass of house Cabernet. That is the Red Lobster house wine people. I, not my date, pay the tab. (He can’t find his credit card. Of course.) When the waiter returns with the bill and my credit card, he asks for my ID. I consider jumping on…

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Antique Friends

Age Before Beauty Backfires

Awhile back, Antique Daddy and I went out to dinner with my friend Jennifer and her husband to a fancy steak house. As I may have mentioned before, Jennifer is nearly 6-foot-tall, skinny, has long blonde hair, perfect nose, perfect teeth.  And if that weren’t bad enough,  she’s smart, kind-hearted and funny.  She used to be a pediatric ICU nurse caring for the sickest of the sick children before she retired to have her own children.   And she’s 14 years younger than me.  When we hang out,  I choose not to think about how I could…

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Modern Medicine

The Med Student

So then, last week I had a doctor’s appointment.  I always take a little extra time getting ready for the doctor and dab a little Dr. Pepper behind each knee, don’t you? It was a mostly uneventful doctor’s visit except for the fact that the good doctor had a medical student helping him.   The nurse was kind enough to ask me first if I minded if the med student was in the room observing.  I said, “Sure, why not? The more the merrier!” Which made her laugh. Tip:  If you can make the nurse laugh, you…

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Always Real

Why I Could Never Be First Lady

As I was writing the post about America’s First Ladies, I thought a lot about the various tasks and duties associated with the position.  I tried to imagine what kind of First Lady I would be. I think I would do well at being the White House hostess and entertaining foreign dignitaries. I know how to throw a party and make people feel welcome in my home. I would enjoy the public speaking part and traveling as a goodwill ambassador on behalf of my husband.  I could handle “other duties as assigned” and wouldn’t even mind…

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