Modern Medicine

The Med Student

So then, last week I had a doctor’s appointment.  I always take a little extra time getting ready for the doctor and dab a little Dr. Pepper behind each knee, don’t you?

It was a mostly uneventful doctor’s visit except for the fact that the good doctor had a medical student helping him.   The nurse was kind enough to ask me first if I minded if the med student was in the room observing.  I said, “Sure, why not? The more the merrier!” Which made her laugh. Tip:  If you can make the nurse laugh, you can get more samples.

The intern was 12-years-old.  Or maybe he just looked to be 12-years-old.   Doogie Howser comes to mind.

With the real doc at one end and the boy doc at the other, I turned to see him not observing at all, but looking at his manicure. And a little green around the gills. I tried not to take it personally.

To distract him from the unspeakable horror of seeing an aging woman in what can only be described as an awkward position, I asked this young child what kind of doctor he wanted to be when he grew up. No, not really. I didn’t say that last part out loud. I don’t think I did anyway.

He told me he wanted to be a gas doctor.  I wasn’t sure if he meant he was studying to be a gastroenterologist or an anesthesiologist.  When no one said anything, he quickly clarified that he wanted to be an anesthesiologist.

I wanted to tell him that if you are going to be a gas doctor, be a big gas doctor. Just to see if I could get more samples out of the nurse.

But I didn’t say it. Out loud.   I restrained my inner 4th grade boy.  Until now.

And now Antique Mommy is chuckling inappropriately and putting herself in time out.

31 thoughts on “The Med Student

  1. You know, “gas doctors” have the highest liability (i.e.–malpractice insurance) for a reason. I hope he gets his comeuppance quickly and not at a patient’s expense.

    If he had a personality he might be able to see patients while they were awake. I’m just saying…

  2. Seventeen and a half years ago I fell in love with my gas doctor during my first c-section. Wouldn’t know the man if I saw him, with the mask and all, but my husband is fully aware that I’m in love with him. I requested him 3 years later for my next c-section. That time he brought a student and I still have never seen his face.

  3. Oh, that’s hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

    Funny, just a couple of weeks ago I had to have a certain type of ultrasound that is . . . um . . . a little delicate. Fourth time in a year–thankfully the LAST! Anyway, the tech brought a student into the room with her and actually asked me if the student (a female) could try. Being the wuss that I am, I said yes. Oh my. It was awful. And in the middle of it I asked her where she went to school and what type of degree you need to do this kind of thing because, in my humble opinion, you should need a Ph.D.–or more. She mentioned the local community college! So last week I learned that we have community college students reading very important ultrasounds. Hmmm.

  4. ROTFL!!! A long time ago, I went to a new PCP who I thought was too young to be a doctor. Scary thing is that I was 20-21.

    I hope he pays more attention to his patients than his manicure when he’s gassing people.

    Did you giggle internally during this exam? Do you think the real doctor noticed?

  5. A Big Gas Doctor. See…it even SOUNDS like a little kid is saying it. And it makes me want to laugh. My dentist is younger than me and we both graduated from the same college. I feel old. Like “cut me open and count my rings” old.

  6. Did he actually say the words “gas doctor”? Good lord…that does not inspire confidence!

    Yes. And then because like my 5YO, he was trying to be “so big” — my brain which is always messing with words and twisting sounds jumped to biGass doctor. hee hee! I am SO immature.

  7. I love your blog but I can’t read it through my reader anymore because it prompts me for a password. *sniff*

    Also, now that the president is younger than me, I have to admit it kind of bugs me. Not really .. sorta.

  8. Ain’t medical students wonderful! Hubby was in ER one night and I came out to confer with he doctor to find him studing for a MATH test the next day! He stammered all over the place but my confidence in getting hubby out in one piece was shot! Oh well, we made it in one piece.

  9. I had no idea that they were called gas doctors. If he had said that to me, I don’t know if I could guarantee a repression of the jokes that came to mind…

  10. We listen to Air1 on the radio. Their is a guy, Scott, and a girl, Kelli, that do the morning show. He was giving her a hard time because she has a new app on her iPhone. It’s called “Pull my Finger” so you can guess what it sounds like. HA! She has two boys so that’s why she got the download. At least, that’s what she says. FUNNY! Maybe the gas doctor should get it also.

  11. I don’t think you deserve a time out. You didn’t choose to call the child a gas doctor.

    I would’ve totally said it outloud. Brownie points with nurses are invaluable, and likely you’ll never have to see baby doc again 🙂

  12. Thank you, Nette… I couldn’t figure it out either until I read your note to say it out loud. Funny!

    I was having my exam once when the doctor asked me if the student doctor could practice doing the exam a SECOND time. WHY would I possibly say YES to such a question?!? But I did.

    Next time I see a 12-year-old in the exam room, I’m going to put my clothes back on and run for dear life.

  13. Now, see as someone who’s been that poor awkward medical student standing in the corner I read this thinking you are brilliant AND feeling really sorry for the poor guy.

    When I was in residency (and not that my late 20’s) I always had patient’s parents telling me I was “too young to be a doctor”. Often it was a 23 year old with 3 kids saying this…at which I often wanted to say “Wow, you look way too young to be a Mom which is a much harder job.” But I didn’t.

    Now no one tells me I’m too young to be a doctor. Kind of sad, that.

  14. I have an inner 4th grade boy too that is inappropriately amused by bathroom humor. How about when you get behind the little old lady in the produce section who “passes gas” in rhythm to her footsteps. I should feel sympathy, but it send me into gales of giggles.

  15. LOL AM, you never fail to either make me think or make me fall of my chair, laughing (well, maybe not literally, but definately figuratively). LOL

    When I started in nursing, the med students were older than me. Then something happened, they were my age. Then they were younger. Now, I know I haven’t gotten older, so I can only think that they now allow medical students in at younger and younger ages. I don’t know why they lowered the age to get into medical school.

    Mama…. anesthesiology is actually the safest medical speciality in terms of bad patient outcomes. Their malpractice insurance rates, while high, have actually gone down in real dollars since the mid-80’s. That speciality has a real commitment to quality. However, it doesn’t mean that med students wanting to be anesthesiologists have that commitment yet. LOL

  16. My 8 year old son would have found that hilarious….um, but I guess I would have been laughing right along with him! We’re grown up that way.

  17. Years ago, I had a relatively new procedure done at a teaching hospital, so there was a room full of students on hand. The next morning, when I was still groggy from anesthesia and punchy from poor sleep the night before, a quartet of young doctors came trooping into my room. Without any real introduction, young Dr. Fullofhimself said “I observed your surgery last night and I’ve come to examine your incisions.” Well, being groggy and punch-drunk, I couldn’t help myself. I replied. “Sure! I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!” He turned beet red and fled from the room. The other three young doctors laughed. A lot. Apparently Someone had been acting like a know it all jerk lately, and they were glad to see him get knocked down a peg or two.

  18. I had a friend – a horrible, horrible friend but a rather funny girl – who used to say, ruefully, to her doctor that “YOU COULD AT LEAST KISS ME FIRST!”

    I’m not friends with her anymore, but she WAS funny.

  19. I live in a house full of boys ages 39, 17, 11, and 3 and “gas” is always funny to them. Thanks for the laugh!

  20. Now, I may be a bit out of line in saying so, but *any* doctor who answers an adult patient with “gas doctor” completely deserves *anything* a quick-witted person might throw at them. Anything. And it took me a minute to get your response, but, dang if he didn’t deserve it.

    Who did he think he was talking to, anyway?

    As usual, you are too, too funny. 🙂

  21. I’m still having trouble believing he REALLY said “gas doctor”…REALLY?

    I still remember a creepy student type guy asking me in the recovery room after the birth of one of my sons, “So, am I your first?” Wha?? “Your first male nurse, I mean?” Wow, he was creepy… that was 6 1/2 years ago and sadly I don’t remember a lot of the rest of the day, but I remember him!

  22. LOL! You totally crack me up AM! A Gas Doctor. Could he sound any more like a 12 year old?!

    When I had skin cancer last summer – on my ear I might add – when I met with my surgeon for the pre-op appt., he required yet another full body skin check. I had already had a full body skin check at the dermatologist – you haven’t lived ’til you’ve had a full body skin check. Let me just say there isn’t one inch of skin that they don’t check. But what am I going to do, refuse? He’s the surgeon for pete’s sake.

    So, I’m standing there in a gown with the surgeon and his physician’s assistant when he asks me if I mind if a med. student observes the exam. OK, I said. But what I wanted to say was: Sure! And I bet there are some folks down in the waiting room, why don’t we just invite them in too? The more the merrier.

  23. I have never heard anyone say “gas doctor” before- that would have taken me by surprise and I would have thought so many things except for what he really meant by that.
    But you with “big-gas-doctor”- now that just has me cracking up!!!

  24. I’m married to a “gas doc” and have never heard that term unto this post. So glib and unprofessional… FWIW every time DH complains about going in to the hosp in the wee hours of the night/morning to do an epidural I tell him to make sure to tell the poor woman I told him to hurry!

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