Last Friday I had lunch with some friends at a Mexican restaurant. I ordered the spinach quesadillas and they were delicious, but I could only eat about half of them, so I had the waiter box up the rest to take home.
Today, around lunch time, it occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten those spinach quesadillas. So I worked the inside of our overburdened fridge like one of those slide puzzles looking for those quesadillas. But they were not to be found.
“That’s weird,” I thought. “I distinctly remember leaving the restaurant with them and putting them in the….”
Crud! Crud! Crud on a cracker crud!
They were still in the car. So I went out to the garage and there they were. Under the driver’s seat. Oddly enough my car did not smell any worse than usual. It could be that the smell of rotting spinach quesadillas is actually a step up from how my car normally smells.
But it begs the question, why do I even bother with the restaurant leftovers? Is it hope or delusion that I ask for the to-go box? Because I always fully believe that I will actually consume said left overs. Even though I never do.
Because Sr. Edwina never let me forget that poor children in China were starving when I was in the 2nd grade, I am psychologically obligated 40 years later to make the waiter box up food I won’t eat so that I can throw it away a week later, that is if I can find it, because by cracky, I paid for that food and I am going to be the one to throw it away to alleviate world hunger. That actually made sense in my head. It’s complicated in there and the circuitry is circuitous.
Now of course there is no real way to prove this without putting GPS on to-go boxes, but because this is a blog, I shall state it with some authority anyway, as though it were fact: 99.9% of the leftovers taken from a restaurant never make it off restaurant property. 80% of to-go boxes are left on the table, 10% end up on the vanity in the ladies room and 5% end up in the parking lot after being placed on the roof of the car.
What happens to the remaining 5% is anyone’s guess, but you might check under the driver’s seat of your car.