Comments on: Guilt v Remorse

By: Janis

Janis — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:11:56 +0000

Sometimes we have to touch the raw place in our children’s hearts in order for them to get the message. The tender spot may not exist at the moment, but we must plant the seed when the opportunity presents itself. I bite my tongue to stop myself from offering comfort when my daughters are experiencing guilt or remorse. Hopefully, the raw spot will still be there when needed.

You are good mama, AM.

By: Tonggu Momma

Tonggu Momma — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:47:17 +0000

In that moment, you parented Sean in the same way that I parent the Tongginator. We may both of us be wrong, but somehow I don’t think so.

By: Sharon

Sharon — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:44:41 +0000

You are doing a wonderful job and your post made me stop and think about how I might handle a similar situation. I only hope, half as well. Thank you for sharing.

By: Joanna

Joanna — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:43:28 +0000

AMEN!!!

By: jean

jean — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:40:37 +0000

You explained it perfectly. You did the right thing. I would keep the toy in the bag and let it show up occasionally. It would act as a reminder, perhaps bringing on another conversation.

By: Blog Antagonist

Blog Antagonist — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:27:01 +0000

Good Lord, if the populace of the internets can create controversy out of one your posts….

As I said yesterday…you did nothing wrong. You took a teachable moment and used it to illustrate a very valuable lesson. People have to *learn* to be selfless and giving. They do that through example, and through situations *exactly* like that one.

You did your job as a Mom. Good on ya.

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:25:17 +0000

Raising children is one of the hardest jobs there is, and I think you are doing an incredible job. You are teaching Sean things that will benefit him and those around him his whole life. There are enough “it’s all about me” people in this world! Thanks for your example.

By: Sarah at themommylogues

Sarah at themommylogues — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:21:42 +0000

I want you to know that your post yesterday (and other things in life) have led me to really start thinking about my parenting. I work from home, and I tend to parent the moment. Quick fixes here and there to get me back to my projects. I want to parent the long-term, and the eternal. I want to raise girls who are compassionate and love Jesus. I want to remember that I am their mother first, and my work is second.

I want to teach them to really *think* about how they respond to a situation or a choice, so that they don’t go with the knee jerk reaction.

So thank you.

By: chesley

chesley — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:15:34 +0000

I read your post yesterday and it brought tears to my eyes. I think you did exactly the right thing, and I remembered it last night as my own little boy cried for some toy he was wanting. Thanks for your meaningful posts!

By: Carrie

Carrie — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:13:41 +0000

I was thinking about your post a lot yesterday and I agree with everything you’ve said. How many times have we done something and then afterwards felt terrible about it? And how many times have we kept ourselves from doing that same thing again merely by remembering how terrible we felt doing it the first time? In a simple analogy, sometimes the only thing that keeps me from over-eating is remembering how I felt the last time I over-ate.
Kudos to you for having the heart to teach your son a valuable lesson.